Little Miss Sierra

As of Tuesday, I am back home after two amazing months in Colorado at Ellerslie Leadership Training. Read about my experiences there by clicking here. I will be blogging much more now that I am home. One of the students at Ellerslie during my semester was a single 27 year-old named Kathy. She is such an inspiration to me, just to see the love of Christ practically lived out in her life. She is fostering a little girl named Sierra whose mom is 38, has been in and out of prison since she was 17 and has five daughters, none of which has she raised. Sierra is three years old and shares a birthday with me!! Sierra was a part of our class and we saw her each day. She certainly brought a bright spot to each of our lives.

God has used this precious little girl's life to bring deeper healing to me. One of my really good friends at Ellerslie said she watched me interact with Sierra and that I have a motherly nature and instinct and how beautiful it is. One night when Sierra was in my lap, my friend looked back at us and said if she didn't know any better, she would have thought we were mother and daughter. It was healing to hold a little girl, knowing I should have a little girl right now. Then the thought hit me, "I lost my little girl and this little girl lost her mama in prison." It was almost like instinctively she knew I was a mother and felt comfortable resting in my arms as she did. Later in the evening, she came back to my dorm room (she's always asking about it) and pointed at the picture of Lily and I on my desk, saying "Baby." Then I said, "this is my little girl, Lily Katherine." And she said her name back to me..."Liwy Kafewine." :)

I was so honored and blessed to do a photo shoot with Sierra, to make a photo book to send to her mom! It's amazing that this passion for photography was birthed because of Lily's life and how God continues to develop it and uses it to bless others.

I love this sweet little girl and I love my little girl in Heaven. I cannot tell you how wonderful it has been for me to share Lily with others at Ellerslie and have them respond well, wanting to know more about her, being sensitive, and loving her with me. I'm so proud to be her mommy and proud to bring her legacy to people from around the world. I can only imagine what God has next for her sweet legacy...

Each of us students had a notebook where we could write each other memories, encouragement, and what we meant to each other, as a memorial to our semester. Well, this is the letter I wrote to Sierra...

December 10th, 2011

Little Miss Sierra,

By the time you’re old enough to read this, I wonder if you’ll even remember me. Well, there’s something I want you to know, little girl. Our great God has used you in a mighty way in my life. One day, I’d like to share with you my whole story. But you don’t need to know all the details to know what I’m about to tell you. My precious daughter, Lily Katherine was born on March 16th, 2010. Before she entered this world though, she had already gone to Heaven to be with Jesus. The hardest thing I’ll ever go through I think was losing her. But my victorious Jesus has turned a story of sorrow and sin into a story of redemption…healing…beauty. I see that He brought me to Ellerslie in the fall of 2011 for many reasons. One of the reasons was to meet you. In the past two months, God has used your precious life to bring me to a much greater place of healing.

After losing Lily, it was hard to see little girls and I certainly didn’t feel like I could hold them. It cut like a knife in my heart to over and over again be reminded of what I was missing out on with my daughter.

You’re one of the first little girls I’ve held since her. And God has shown me I can do this. He will continue giving me the strength.

I have so loved spending time with you-playing tag, crawling around on the floor like animals, coloring, talking, seeing your beautiful face radiate such joy and life, making funny faces with you and Faith (we called it the double chin and you just thought it was hilarious), hearing you say my name, taking your pictures, and just being around you.

One particular time I will forever cherish was when we were watching a movie in the chapel and you asked to come sit on my lap. You rested your head on my shoulder and were perfectly still as I rocked you. It felt so natural and I knew it was a gift from God to be holding a precious little girl in my arms when my own little girl couldn’t be.

God has mighty and amazing plans for your life, little one. Before we know it, you will be a grown woman. I pray the Lord richly blesses you in your life. I pray you let Him write your story.

One day I hope we can meet again and I can give you a big hug and tell you how the Lord blessed me in knowing you, even when you had no idea. 

I love you so much, SiSi. Thanks for the hugs, kisses, giggles, memories, and healing. I’ll miss you (so much!) and even if you forget me, I will never forget you.

Love Always,
Hannah Rose (Hannah Wose)

P.S. I showed you Lily’s picture. You said “baby” and then you said her name so cute. I can’t wait for you to meet her in Heaven! :)