tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4899579340153472042.post7727490368183179914..comments2023-09-21T02:49:39.504-04:00Comments on Rose and Her Lily: Even When It Feels like I'm DrowningHannah Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05380263398292285653noreply@blogger.comBlogger22125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4899579340153472042.post-73708741523749463392015-04-02T00:16:35.669-04:002015-04-02T00:16:35.669-04:00Wow Hannah! Thank you for being so raw and open. ...Wow Hannah! Thank you for being so raw and open. I've been following your blog for at least a year now, but I think longer. I don't usually comment because I just don't know what to say. I've never been through something as painful and hard as you have. But my heart is usually always full after reading what you right. Thank you for sharing. Through your blogging, I've caught a glimpse of what it's like to lose a child and it helps me to understand a little more of those around me who have lost a child. It makes me more aware and has shown me how important it is to remember. When I read your blog, it points me to Jesus and how He can take the hardest things in life and turn them into something beautiful. When I read your blog, I see a girl following hard after Christ, and I want to be like that! Thank you for your example of following Christ even when it's hard! I have tears in my eyes as I write this...though, I've never met Hannah Rose, you and Lily hold a special place in my heart. <br />May God bless you and continue to draw you closer to Him as you grieve the loss of your precious girl! <br />~Sarah H. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4899579340153472042.post-1598021047379363212015-04-01T22:07:16.856-04:002015-04-01T22:07:16.856-04:00I most definitely forgive you.
And yes, like Rac...I most definitely forgive you. <br /><br />And yes, like Rachel's Mama wrote, there are many of us babyloss mamas here to support and encourage you. You are certainly not alone. <br /><br />I want to share a letter with you written by John Piper that has deeply impacted me called "Letter to a Parent Grieving the Loss of a Child." You can read here: http://www.desiringgod.org/articles/letter-to-a-parent-grieving-the-loss-of-a-child Hannah Rosehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05380263398292285653noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4899579340153472042.post-23710429849748099982015-04-01T21:47:40.557-04:002015-04-01T21:47:40.557-04:00Thank you so much for your humbleness. I know it ...Thank you so much for your humbleness. I know it will help ease Hannah's hurt. I hope you know that regardless of all of this, if you need support and want to support others, there is a huge community of mothers who will love you and your daughter and remember her with you. I don't know how anyone makes it without other baby loss mothers to talk to. So I'm sure Hannah would agree when I say that if you need us, we are here and we are sorry your daughter is not with you. ♥Rachel's Mamahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05085949875951256158noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4899579340153472042.post-10870155242924748972015-04-01T21:36:53.510-04:002015-04-01T21:36:53.510-04:00I'm not sure why you say all this since the pe...I'm not sure why you say all this since the person we were talking to has written in thanks for what I wrote... ? She's not mad, but you are? <br />This a personal blog for Hannah to talk about her loss of Lily. It's actually not the place for other's opinions on her need to "move along." which just for the record, wasn't just your friend's 'opinion' it was an attack on Hannah's character and her Christian walk based (as anonymous later admits) on her own lack of support. Since she is in pain from people telling her not to talk about her baby, one would think when she finds someone who is doing it, rather than tell them not to and all the reasons they are being unbiblical in doing so, she would be relieved that she isn't alone and support her. The words don't really add up... but I'm glad she apologized for Hannah's sake since Hannah is hurting from what she said too - difference being this is Hannah's blog! I'm not going to argue with your anonymous ring of friends from TN but I won't sit here silently and let someone put down a girl who I have watched honor God in everything she has done and let people say that she isn't. And since you seem to think sharing your 'opinion' is ok, you must realize that how I feel about my daughter being in heaven and the hate she is spared from here is my opinion that I am entitled to, right? It's also very Biblical to value the fact that heaven is free of pain, tears, and sin. I'm not sure why you don't think Jesus would agree with that but you think He would agree with telling someone in pain to "move along now" already and to stop talking about their dead child. It's called mourning with those who mourn and carrying each others burdens and God feels very strongly about both. But I'm glad Rachel is in heaven for a lot more reasons than that. I miss her like crazy, but she is better off there. The point is, If you don't like what someone has to say on their blog - or what they are doing with their grief - or what they have tattooed in their skin... you move along and find something else to read. That is what healthy people do when they don't like what someone has to say - not send mean anonymous messages criticizing a young girl in pain. But I am thankful that this conversation, although difficult and I'm sure painful for everyone involved, helped the anonymous baby loss mama to recognize some things that she needed to see. I do hope that she knows that regardless of this conversation, should she ever need someone to talk to about her daughter - no matter how long it has been - we will all be here for her and will never grow tired of hearing her daughter's name. That's how we do it in the baby loss community - we share each other's burdens and help carry their baby's names and remember them together. The rest of the world might think we are strange, but we have each other - and as you can see, we have each other's backs too. Nobody will hold anything against her if she wants to support and be supported. Rachel's Mamahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05085949875951256158noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4899579340153472042.post-43562740094086272922015-04-01T19:55:48.841-04:002015-04-01T19:55:48.841-04:00People, I don't understand. You attack this la...People, I don't understand. You attack this lady who said something of her own opinion, saying that she was being judgemental, yet what do you think you are doing? Jesus said to people who wanted to stone the adulteress, "let him who is without sin cast the first stone" she obviously was sorry for what she said and yet you continue to make her feel worse! Now who is being cold hearted! Rachel's Mama, you said you were glad your daughter was in Heaven so woman couldn't say mean things to her. Could you imagine Jesus saying that? We don't know what this lady has been through, just leave it alone. Obviously the people in her life are telling her to move along, so why should it surprise you when she tells someone who has been mourning for 5 years to move on? It is just her mind- set! Instead of bashing her, encourage her!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4899579340153472042.post-41546336709896302632015-04-01T17:19:59.011-04:002015-04-01T17:19:59.011-04:00I realize my mistake and I am sooo sorry!!! Never ...I realize my mistake and I am sooo sorry!!! Never stop talking about her, never stop mourning for her. The reason I said to in the first place is because I have no support and nobody wants to talk with me about her. So I am forced to move on, because that is what everyone is telling me. My Lord is the only one who listens to my grief sometimes. Hannah I am sorry. Thank you Rachel's Mama for helping me understand that what is true for one person may not be for the next. I need someone like Hannah in my life to talk to. I need comfort:-(( please will you forgive me Hannah???Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4899579340153472042.post-76170270051606837582015-04-01T13:17:12.124-04:002015-04-01T13:17:12.124-04:00well we knew it was your own issue. Clearly it wa...well we knew it was your own issue. Clearly it wasn't a legitimate 'concern' for Hannah - what people say is always more about them than the person they are saying it to. I will say that I am be guilty of the same judgmental attitude as you when I was only 6 months in from my daughter Rachel dying. I would look at people around me further along in their journey and think "I'm not going to be that sad that long from now because *I* am doing this the *right* way. I'm going to work through it early on so that I will be happy when I get to 20 years from now." Well, year 2-3 was my hardest year, you know why? Because I realized it doesn't EVER go away. No matter how much I trust the Lord or LOVE that she IS IN HEAVEN. I'm glad she is there - she won't ever have to have another woman be mean to her! I still over 4 years later do things for others in Rachel's memory and I always will. I don't sit around in tears or freak out at the mention of her name, but there remains and empty place in my family that will never be filled on this earth. But, remembering your daughter and missing her and even crying about missing her is not "feeling sorry for yourself". You have a long road ahead of you and I would not suggest acting as if you have it all together and have overcome this because if you really lost a baby, it's not ever going away. You will one day have to feel what you are avoiding now and it won't be any easier then. If you have this type of attitude and judgment towards anyone who is open about how they feel, you will isolate yourself from the very people you will need eventually - and the only ones who will *really* be there to support you. Your comment is clear that you don't have a lot of support or feel comfortable talking about your daughter with people around you. It's not going to get easier and you won't want to talk about her less as years past. You don't believe it now, but it's true. You are just still naïve to the fact that time doesn't heal all wounds. Any peace you have is from the Lord and everything we get from the Lord is a GIFT so that no man can boast. Your "I am pulling myself up by my boot straps" attitude is going to leave you wanting and alone. God opposed the proud, but gives grace to the humble - and let's face it, women need each other - especially women who have buried babies. We should SUPPORT each other's individual paths and ways of working through our deepest pain. And tattoos are not unbiblical. If you have a conviction over it, then it is sin for YOU. It took me years to realize that not every conviction I have means it is a sin for others but if God convicts me of something, and I don't listen, it becomes sin for me. I hope you aren't going around judging every person for every thing you see that you aren't comfortable with... not for the people who have to endure your criticisms, but for you because that's not a good place to be. You will have to answer for that when you meet the Lord....Rachel's Mamahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05085949875951256158noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4899579340153472042.post-4984563076188702142015-04-01T12:11:54.367-04:002015-04-01T12:11:54.367-04:00We should use God's Word to BUILD EACH OTHER U...We should use God's Word to BUILD EACH OTHER UP, not tear each other down. And you should not take his Word out of context.<br />In Matthew:8:22 Jesus was responding to a request from one of His followers who asked to be excused from his responsibilities to "go and bury his father" It sounds like he's asking to go plan his funeral, but he was actually asking Christ to excuse him from his spiritual responsibilities, so that he could return to live with his aging father until he died. Instead, Christ told him to focus on his calling. In other words, Jesus may have said "Don't neglect the high spiritual calling I've given you; let the spiritually dead attend to the routine tasks of life." <br />Those verses do not mean "move on" at all. You, Hannah, have never failed to tend to the spiritual calling God has given you. It might be different than the one He has given "Anonymous", but you are absolutely working for the Kingdom of God through each step of your days without Lily. <br />Instead of mourning with those who mourn (Romans 12:15), many well-meaning Christians think the Christian thing to do is to chide mourning Christians for not rejoicing. Paul spoke often of the tears he shed in his labors for the Lord. I'm saddened by those who sincerely think we are following his exhortations to have joy and rejoice by never showing sorrow. It doesn't have to be one or the other and I've experienced my most sacred times with the Lord when I was right in the middle of BOTH - and I know you have too. <br />The Psalms are filled with praise and rejoicing but also filled with strong laments and complaints. Many of the psalms that end in praise only get there after working their way through grief. That is what I saw in this post. You started out revealing your heart and ended with complete trust in God, as usual - sounds pretty Biblical to me! Although each psalm can be read quickly, it summarizes a real-life emotional journey that surely took much longer... maybe even 5 YEARS! Hope lessens grief, but it does not eliminate it.<br />I understand that the Bible says there is “a time to mourn” but I see nowhere a time limit being set on how long we are allowed to do that before it is 'time to move along.' That one statement alone has me heartbroken for you... You are doing an amazing job with a very long, hard and lonely road at a very young age. Your parents must be so proud of the woman you have become through this situation that could have taken you in a very different direction and instead it brought you into a right relationship with God. Lily was a true gift to you and you have ALWAYS recognized her as such. I'm not sure what else people want from you... I'm sorry you have to endure negativity like that. <br />I know you wonder what God has in store, but girl, watching you cling to Him, I know it is something good. I believe wholeheartedly that it includes an amazing husband who 'gets you' and other children you can hold on earth. You have not lost hope just because you have days that are hard... you know it, I know it and God knows it... you don't need to convince anyone else - and PLEASE don't listen to that person and shy away from talking about Lily. Sometimes people being 'uncomfortable' isn't a bad thing! And maybe, just maybe, if we believe God uses all things to work together for the good of those who love him, we then believe that He can use Lily in every life that crosses your path. Don't shy from talking about her. You know God has called you to this ministry through her life and death. Your story is a great example of how God loves us... with unending, unconditional, unashamed, long suffering, deep, wide and far LOVE. People need to hear that message. And God gave it to you in Lily! <br />And I love your tattoo!! Rachel's Mamahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05085949875951256158noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4899579340153472042.post-47823081765427906622015-04-01T11:58:14.272-04:002015-04-01T11:58:14.272-04:00You know, I am not going to step out of the shadow...You know, I am not going to step out of the shadow of anonymous, but I will say this. I was perhaps a little rash. And perhaps it is because my own heart is breaking and I am struggling to find a way of relief! It has only been six months since my own sweet baby girls was taken into the arms of my Lord. The consolation I have found in this short time has been that He did it for a reason, and so I stopped feeling sorry for myself and tried to focus on what He was trying to say. Instead of thinking constantly about her, and keeping myself in a constant state of horrible grief, I thought of my sweet Lord and how He was holding her. I know for months, every time I saw a baby or the name of my child, I would get sick to my stomach. And I am not bashing what Hannah is doing! I think it is beautiful. The Bible talks about comforting those by the comfort which we have been comforted by. I am glad she is doing it since I am not able to. It was the tattoo that was troubling me and talking to your mother about something you think is unbiblical is NOT gossiping! Hannah if I offended you I am truly sorry. Please forgive me! Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4899579340153472042.post-17466365503002551602015-04-01T01:19:10.883-04:002015-04-01T01:19:10.883-04:00You hide behind anonymity and attack a grieving mo...You hide behind anonymity and attack a grieving mother for mourning her child. How much lower can one sink? You admit to gossip and then make a half hearted attempt to point to scripture to back up your harsh statements. Ecclesiastes does speak of there being a time to mourn. It doesn't state the time frame so why are you? The bible also says "We grieve with hope!" There are things in this world that we grieve. IT'S OK TO GRIEVE!!! It is NATURAL! Jesus even grieved! I honestly don't know Hannah personally. I have just read her beautiful words that express her brokenness over losing her daughter...then I read your cold-hearted comment and wonder why you are so bitter and hateful against a momma who has lost so much. So I did a little FB stalking. You know what I saw? I saw a young lady with a broken heart reaching out to other mommies who have lost their child by bringing things to the hospital to help them make it through this hard time. I saw her reaching out in appreciation to the nurses who were there for her. I see someone who is so broken but determined to help someone else. If you want to attack someone then do it without hiding behind the safety of "Anonymous." If you want to be helpful, sit down with her and ask her about her daughter. Let her know that her daughter will never be forgotten. Write her a kind, sweet letter of encouragement...not criticizing her grief. You know, be Christ-like. My daughter was heaven born just one short year ago. My heart breaks every day...over and over. This isn't something you just move along from as you would prefer. Perhaps you and your mom should do some reading as to how to help a grieving momma instead of hurting one. If you need some resources to help you better help a grieving mother, I would be more than happy to give you some. You owe Hannah an apology.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08677882403549936814noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4899579340153472042.post-54506201790964384252015-03-31T12:34:17.844-04:002015-03-31T12:34:17.844-04:00Anonymous, would you respect Hannah Rose and Lily ...Anonymous, would you respect Hannah Rose and Lily by stepping out of the shadows of anonymity into the light of identification?Ginny Bain Allenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08998186529421390538noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4899579340153472042.post-83450400098724564502015-03-30T18:53:06.802-04:002015-03-30T18:53:06.802-04:00Hannah, you know I was thinking the other day. Whe...Hannah, you know I was thinking the other day. When I saw the post of your tattoo, I thought it was questionable. Then later I told my mother and she confirmed what I had been thinking. It has been 5 YEARS since Lily died. I know that it hurts, but don't you think it is time to move along? I have been through the very same thing as you. I know the pain and it hurts. But as Jesus said, "let the dead bury the dead" we must move on! It says in Ecclesiastes that there is a TIME to mourn. I think Jesus puts situations in our lives to teach us something, but then we must think about what the Lord wants us to do next. I am not saying forget her...that is not possible....just stop going crazy at every little mention of the word Lily. She is with Jesus, why are mourning? I know my precious little girl is with my Saviour and the Bible says that we must not mourn as those that have no hope. I will be praying for you. Plus, constantly talking about someone who was been gone for that long will soon begin to make those around you uncomfortable. I know.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4899579340153472042.post-31354475101895901102015-03-30T12:58:00.046-04:002015-03-30T12:58:00.046-04:00That was beautiful dear really raw and full of emo...That was beautiful dear really raw and full of emotion and can't explain how much it touched me, I hope and pray for you.Gemma A.noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4899579340153472042.post-53474027352871901122015-03-30T12:57:28.557-04:002015-03-30T12:57:28.557-04:00Your truthfulness made God smile big! Through your...Your truthfulness made God smile big! Through your story, I have seen full blown of God's redemption! I love you my opposite side so much! Praying always for you.BonBonnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4899579340153472042.post-60935323993760827712015-03-29T17:40:16.513-04:002015-03-29T17:40:16.513-04:00Hannah, It's hard for those of us who have not...Hannah, It's hard for those of us who have not experienced pain like yours to know how to respond. Posts like this are so very helpful in understanding more fully the depth of your experiences. Though I have never had a child, your feelings of loneliness are quite familiar to me. I am younger than you, but I still feel old sometimes. Why am I not in a relationship? Why is my life not what I want it to be? Trusting God is so, so hard - especially in matters of love and life which are so close to our hearts. Thank you for sharing part of your heart with us and many prayers as your journey continues!Lauranoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4899579340153472042.post-6167963268427338682015-03-29T00:06:53.625-04:002015-03-29T00:06:53.625-04:00This was a beautifully raw post. Being vulnerable ...This was a beautifully raw post. Being vulnerable brings healing to ourselves and for others. I love you so much. Sending up special prayers tonight that you feel His love and presence in a powerful way.Faith S.noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4899579340153472042.post-39319587762016616082015-03-28T23:56:40.735-04:002015-03-28T23:56:40.735-04:00Some days are just so much harder than others! Whe...Some days are just so much harder than others! When almost everything seems to just not be okay. I feel for all the losses you are experiencing. May God "make up for the years the locusts have eaten.". May, one day, as you look back on this struggle, these losses, may you know that this waiting was not in vain...that the best...YOUR best is yet to come! Trusting that our good Lord will grant you the desires of your heart in His perfect timing!Lynn C.noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4899579340153472042.post-90463026598590076252015-03-28T23:55:34.015-04:002015-03-28T23:55:34.015-04:00It is so hard. The not knowing where your life is ...It is so hard. The not knowing where your life is going is very difficult after your loss. You are 26. I recall feeling very "old" at 23.. in reality, you have your life ahead of you. God will look after you and provide the right people to come into your life . You lost your Lily at a very young age. Five years have passed and you're still very young. .even though you don't feel that way. I think it's difficult for others to comment on your posts when they have no idea what to say. The only reason we know is because we listen to each other. Prayers and hugs, my dear. You will get through this pain.Laura S.noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4899579340153472042.post-23441089461869304922015-03-28T23:54:36.381-04:002015-03-28T23:54:36.381-04:00This brought tears to my eyes you my child have a ...This brought tears to my eyes you my child have a gift of loving OUR LORD THRU SUCH A TRAGEDY AND YOUR LILY IS SO VERY PROUD OF YOUKatherine Y.noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4899579340153472042.post-83973019184929361832015-03-28T23:53:46.867-04:002015-03-28T23:53:46.867-04:00Amazing.You have such a gift in describing the hea...Amazing.You have such a gift in describing the heartbreak of losing a child and everything that comes after in the new normal♡Danielle L.noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4899579340153472042.post-1339798072440788472015-03-28T23:52:23.636-04:002015-03-28T23:52:23.636-04:00Hannah, I have 3 living children (2 before my loss...Hannah, I have 3 living children (2 before my loss and a rainbow after). I also have a husband of nearly 32 years. I still feel many of the same things you've expressed here. Thanks for being brutally honest. Praying for you.Sandra P.noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4899579340153472042.post-74228091674298169842015-03-28T23:39:40.336-04:002015-03-28T23:39:40.336-04:00Grateful for your honesty, Hannah Rose, and I'...Grateful for your honesty, Hannah Rose, and I'm confident that God is using your story and your testimony to further His kingdom in powerful ways. Much love to you!Suzanne D.noreply@blogger.com