Honor Lily Katherine With Her Headstone Fundraiser

I feel a little funny doing this fundraiser and am not sure if anyone will even donate anything, but I figured I'd give people the opportunity to honor, remember, and acknowledge Lily Katherine with me. If Lily's brief yet beautiful LIFE has impacted your life at all and if her legacy has touched your heart, please consider giving towards her Memorial Headstone. If those who follow along with Lily's legacy even gave just $5 or $10 (or whatever amount they are able to give), that would go a LONG way towards getting her stone! Thank you SO much!! :)

Read more and donate here: http://www.gofundme.com/LilyKatherine

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Featured on Live Action News - Life of the Week

Live Action News has a really neat series this summer called Life of the Week.

Here's some information about the series from Live Action's website:

Starting tomorrow, June 7, 2013, you can expect to find an exciting new column here at Live Action News & Opinion.
Every Friday, we will share a “Life of the Week” story with you. Life of the Week will highlight a person – and perhaps his or her organization – who is working hard to make life count in our nation or throughout the world.
Through their work or their decision to tell their personal story, these people and organizations are having an influence on our culture. Though they come from many different walks of life, they have one thing in common: their desire and commitment to value life, however it comes.
We will share true stories of people who reach out to women in crisis pregnancies, parents who made a choice for life for their unborn children despite a tragic medical diagnosis, women who suffered from the effects of abortion and are now speaking out, artists and writers who use their talents to speak out for life, and more…
This series will run through the summer and possibly longer. Here at Live Action, we hope you are motivated and inspired by these stories to do your own part to save and value life. It’s one thing to talk about how precious life is, and it’s another thing to do something about it.
As you read the upcoming Life of the Week columns, ask yourself, “What can I do?” When you find your own answer, tell us on Facebook or Twitter (@LiveAction_News) or comment below the Life of the Week stories. We’re excited to see your answers!

I'm so honored to be featured in this series this week!

I thought Laura did a wonderful job writing this up. Thank you Laura and Live Action for posting this! Take a few minutes to read the column here: Life of the Week: From abortion to pro-life speaker. And please feel free to "like" and share! :)

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Lily's "Mamie's Poppy Plate"

I recently got another beautiful keepsake in honor and memory of my Lily girl.

Last summer, I came across Mamie's Poppy Plates, "a donation supported non-profit whose mission is to provide tangible mementos to families who suffer stillbirth or infant death. Our keepsake plates, given to affected families at no charge, are customized with the baby's footprints, name and birth information. Mamie's Poppy Plates exists not to fill the impossible void of loss but to serve as a timeless reminder of their baby's brief yet profound life."

When I first found Mamie's Poppy Plates, they were charging for the plates (for the people who weren't directly tied to their local hospital). I meant to place my order then, but for some reason waited until this spring. When I went back to place my order, I saw that they now offer them FREE of charge!

For those who are interested in requesting a plate in honor of their baby of Heaven, all you have to do is print out the form and fill out your baby's information and how you want your plate to look, then you mail it in (along with a copy of your baby's hand and/or footprints) and wait a couple months for your plate to arrive!

My plate is absolutely gorgeous! I am planning on hanging it on my memorial collage wall for Luke and Lily. I have lots of things to hang and am trying to frame everything and get it all together. Once it's complete, I will share photos.

The plate came in an adorable box, along with a cute sticker with the Mamie's logo.

I wanted mine to be pink (the lettering has to be black), and wanted only Lily's first and middle names, her birthday, stats, and footprints. You can really request how you want it to be though. Check out the website for examples of what others have requested.

If you are able to contribute to this amazing ministry, please consider doing so. I thank them so much for this beautiful memento that means so much to me. I love getting things with Lily's precious prints on them. Since I cannot create new memories with her as she grows up, I treasure the sweet keepsakes I can get. The fact that she has a name and birthday and I have her prints, weight and length, proves that she was real. She was here!

Thank you, Mamie's Poppy Plates for everything you do! I will always think of your sweet Mamie when I look at my plate.

You can watch a News Clip about Mamie's Poppy Plates and a family that was blessed by their ministry here.

Follow them on their Facebook page, Twitter, and find out more about their ministry (they also have a "Race to Remember") on their website.

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Lily's Memorial Portraits

I received one of the most precious gifts I have ever been given in the mail today... all the way from New Zealand! I now have two beautiful memorial portraits of my darling Lily Katherine. I've been waiting and wondering when they would arrive and now here they are. :)

Back in February, I came across Eternal Hope Memorial Portraits on one of my favorite blogs, Baby Rachel's Legacy. For quite a while, I have longed for a beautiful portrait of my girl. I had looked online at several places, even some that specialize in memorial portraits... however, I hadn't found any place that seemed to fit what I was looking for... and every place was out of the price range I was willing and able to pay at the time. I also wanted to work with someone who I trusted with Lily's photos and someone who I knew would honor her memory. That's when I stumbled upon Eternal Hope. I saw the beautiful portraits that had been drawn of Baby Rachel for my dear friend Stacy and knew I would love to have one as well!

When I looked on Eternal Hope's Facebook page, I saw that the artist, Chloé, draws these unique pencil drawings as memorial gifts to parents who have lost a baby. As in, she uses her incredible talent for FREE! This woman is seriously amazing.

This is what Chloé says on her Facebook page:

My name is Chloé and I am an artist located in Christchurch, New Zealand. After the loss of my beautiful daughter, Hope, in 2011, I wanted to do something in her memory to help bereaved Mums and Dads honor their precious angels.
At such a difficult time, I realise another expense may seem like too much. This is why my drawings are gifts, and so I do not charge for them. (However, if you live far away I may need some help with postage!)
If you would like a drawing, or simply like to know more, please send me a message. I would love to hear from you and be a part of your healing journey.

I was absolutely thrilled to discover this beautiful lady and her ministry in honor of her daughter... especially after having wanted a memorial portrait for so long. (How awesome is the name of this ministry, that includes her sweet girl's name, but also points to Christ and our Eternal HOPE in Him... we will see our babies again!)

Immediately, I contacted Chloé and she quickly responded. For several months, we emailed back and forth... I shared the vision I had for Lily's portrait and she would send me updated pictures to see what I wanted tweaked. Chloé truly wanted my vision to come alive and for me to be happy with my portrait. She wanted it as close to how I imagined it as possible. I am amazed at all the hard work and time she spent on my girl's portrait. I had a vision for how I wanted it to look in the end, but I can say that it has far surpassed how it looked in my imaginings.

Here is Lily's gorgeous pencil portrait! She looks so cozy and peaceful in her blanket... my beautiful sleeping angel.

What I initially did was send Chloé the photo of Lily that I wanted her to use for the drawing. I chose my absolute favorite picture of her because she looks so feminine and pretty and the way she looks in this photo is how I remember her. I am amazed at how similar her portrait looks to her actual photo!

Chloé really helped me develop the vision... I told her what I wanted and she came up with the gorgeous layout. One of the main things I knew right away that I wanted to be incorporated into the drawing was lilies and roses, the two flowers that are very special and symbolic to me. I didn't quite know how that would work, but Chloé came up with the idea to have them look like they are coming from the background, wrapping around into the front, almost as if they are placed with Lily on her blanket. I sent photos of the specific rose and lily that I would like and it is more beautiful than I could have dreamed.

Speaking of the roses and lilies... around Lily's birthday, Chloé sent me the sweetest message with some photos. She said this:

I thought I'd just send you a quick message with something that happened the other day. I'd spent most of Saturday working on Lily's drawing, really focussing on the flowers in the background, and then the next day there were flower arrangements at church - we don't usually have flowers, they were left over from a function - and they were pink roses and lilies, just like the ones that I had been drawing with Lily! I love it when God sends us little signs like that, it made me think of you and Lily and was such a lovely surprise. I'll attach a photo of the flowers. We were allowed to take some when we left, so I had to bring home a rose and a lily.

God sends such precious reminders (even from across the world!) that He loves me and Lily and never forgets her.

Chloé wrote Lily's name in the sand in New Zealand on her 3rd Birthday in Heaven and sent me the photo. :)

I asked for this blanket of Lily's to be incorporated into the drawing somehow. This is the matching blanket that goes with the outfit she wore at the hospital... the only outfit she ever wore besides the dress she was buried in. I love that pretty pink and brown outfit (those were her two main colors). It is just so sweet with the baby birds, baby ducks, baby bunnies, and baby chicks on it. Chloé drew the blanket, stitching and all, so perfectly.

I also asked for Lily's matching hat that goes with the blanket and outfit to be incorporated into the photo, rather than the hat that was given at the hospital, which is shown in the actual photo. I love her special hat more (I keep all these things in Lily's memorial chest). The hat looks amazing in the portrait as well!

Once Chloé was almost finished with Lily's portrait, I was thinking about how much I'd love to have a drawing of her hands as well... so I ran it by Chloé to see if she'd mind drawing up a quick sketch of her hands and she was so sweet to agree to it. She drew yet another amazing portrait for me that looks just like the actual photo! In this portrait, Lily is wearing the outfit that matches the blanket and hat from the other portrait.

I love those sweet little hands. :)

I am planning on framing the portrait of Lily's face (and perhaps the other one) to hang on my wall. I will be getting a UV protected frame, so that it doesn't fade in the sunlight (make sure you do this too with handprints/footprints, portraits, photos, etc!) Once it's up on the wall, I will post a photo! 

I didn't know how large the portraits are, but the one of Lily's face is quite large and the other one of her hands is medium-sized.

This experience of working with Chloé has been such a delight. From the first glimpse at Lily's portrait (which she called a "rough sketch," even though it looked exactly like Lily), it was so exciting to be surprised with updates on Chloé's progress. The portraits are even more beautiful in person than how they looked through email (and these photos certainly don't do them justice!)

For someone who has not lost a baby, it's hard to put to words how much this means. I barely have any photos of my daughter, when I wish I was filling multiple photo albums and scrapbooks of her budding life. So, the few photos I do have, I cherish above all other Earthly possessions. Having a portrait like this is a special way to honor, remember, and celebrate her precious LIFE.

Thank you SO much Chloé for this incredible gift that I will treasure forever. I don't even have words for how much I love the portraits and how thankful I am for your kindness and generosity. Everything looks so detailed... her face and hands, the roses and lilies, blanket, hat, animals, everything. You are an amazing artist and doing such a beautiful thing in your Hope's honor and memory. I'm sure our sweet girls are friends in Heaven. :)

If you are interested in Chloé drawing a memorial portrait in honor of your baby, you can contact her through her Facebook page. You can also see and admire more of her work on her page. :)

Some other Memorial Portrait options:

-Pencil Portraits by Dana

-Darla Dixon

-Artsy Erin

-LititiaMarie's Hand Drawn Memories

If you know of any place that specializes in memorial portraits for babyloss, please share with me!

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Thoughtful friends and a peek at Lily's headstone

For Lily's 3rd Heavenly Birthday, I had two very generous, thoughtful, kind people donate some money towards Lily's headstone. This truly meant/means the world to me! One of the people is my good friend who said she wanted to give a small amount in honor of Lily on her birthday towards her stone. The other person is someone I barely knew (I've gotten to know him more since then). My friend Tracey asked me to babysit for her and when I got there, she handed me an envelope and I opened it up to find a rather large amount of cash to go towards Lily's stone from her father! I was at a loss for words. To have people donate towards Lily's stone, especially someone who barely knows me, is incredible. To know that other people understand in a way how much this means to me... wow. When I see Lily's stone, I will always remember your kindness to me! I thank you with all of my heart, Brittany and "Papa Dude!" :)

Speaking of Lily's stone... I first placed the order the day before her birthday, so over three months ago already! The actual stone is in the process of being made. I am now working on finalizing the wording/design plans for the front and back. I am quite pleased so far with how the Monument Company I'm working with is handling everything. I will share much more about everything once it's all completed and installed. I can't wait to share photos of the actual stone, but until then, I couldn't resist sharing a little sneak peek of her beautiful stone!! I will share all the symbolism behind it and reasons why I chose the things I did later. Isn't it so beautiful for my beautiful girl? :)

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The Author of Life

I don't want to be known as someone who is part of the "pro-life movement," but rather as someone who is passionate about Jesus and His message of redemption, healing, mercy, grace, purity, and LIFE! 

Before about a year ago, I naively thought that in order to be pro-life, it must mean you love Jesus. God has allowed some tough circumstances into my life to teach me some important lessons. For me, being pro-life goes hand-in-hand with following Christ. My story just so happens to be a pro-life story, however the central focus of my story is JESUS! It is a story that has the Gospel at its core. The only reason standing for LIFE matters is because of the Author of LIFE! Without HIM, NONE of this matters! 

God has strongly impressed this on my heart - that I am not to seek to be in the pro-life movement, but rather to be just a girl saved by the grace and mercy of Jesus Christ, a girl who wants to share the power of the Cross and the beauty of LIFE with others. He has shown me that I am to NEVER take the emphasis off of Him when I'm speaking and sharing my story. I know because of this, I will be rejected by some. However, I am to never change the message of my story, depending on who I'm sharing with/where I'm sharing. Maybe where I speak won't necessarily look the way I thought, but I want to remain open to what God is wanting to do and where He's wanting to take me. He is giving me new vision for my ministry. He will open the doors He wants me to walk through in His own perfect time and way.

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Waves of Grief

Waves is a befitting description of grief. A giant wave just crashed upon the shore of my heart. Most days the waves are small, but they are always there. I have just learned how to keep my balance as they crash around me. Sometimes the sea of grief can seem peaceful and calm... other days, the intensity of the raging water feels like they will knock me over. Take my breath away.

I have noticed that the season of my grief often coincides with the actual seasons. Every season, in some way, reminds me of my girl and makes me miss her in a different way. Right now, we are embarking upon summer... the time of year when Lily's life within me first began. I am reminded of all the memories and emotions associated with that. 

There are so many sounds, sights, and aromas that can evoke an emotion in me. A feeling of missing Lily. So many things remind me of her, all year round.

Before I know it, my birthday will be here. My 24th... the fourth one without my girl. I was 19 when I got pregnant with her. That was four years ago, in the summer. As we are in summer now (officially tomorrow) I am just feeling so far away from her. Like I am moving farther and farther from those months and years where she lived. 2009 and 2010. I am getting older, the days, weeks, months, and years are passing by, with no regard for who it leaves behind. I just want to stay put for a moment. I must look at it not as moving farther away from her, but moving closer to her, where we will be together for all Eternity.

There are so many seasons to grief and seasons of love.

Oh, my sweet Lily, who was within me four summers ago... I miss you this season and every season.

"Cast your burden upon the LORD and He will sustain you; He will never allow the righteous to be shaken." ~Psalm 55:22

My little one, my dear one, my love,

you will be with me forever:

in the thin sunlight and long shadows

of a clear winter's day;

in the dawn excitement of birds

sounding in early spring;

in the rustle of heavy-leafed trees

in a mid-summer's night;

in the rich aromas and bright colors

of a warm autumn day.

All that is excellent,

brushed by Life's

brightness and shadow,

will remind me of you,

My little one, my dear one, my love.

You will beat with my heart,

see through my eyes,

hear with my ears,

feel on my skin.

Because your soul is mingled with my soul, forever,

My little one, my dear one, my love.

~Edward Searl

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