Days Nobody Remembers

Days like today are the days nobody remembers... nobody but me that is (and a couple family members). Today is March 27th and to most, it's just another Spring day. But for me, it will always be the day my daughter's body was layed to rest beneath the Virginia earth. To me, it will be the day I watched as her tiny white casket, inside her cozy Moses basket, was covered with tears, rose and lily petals, and dirt. And I had to leave her there. I had to walk way, with a piece of myself in the ground. There's no way to describe the aching and the emptiness of that moment. My arms were lost. It was over... really, truly over. I was just barely out of my teens when I buried my baby.

As my friend Sandra who buried her baby daughter 16 years ago on this same date wrote, "I planted a seed in the ground in a cemetery that I must wait to see bloom in Heaven."

"...life ain't always what you think it ought to be, no; Ain't even grey, but she buries her baby. The sharp knife of a short life." -The Band Perry

This was one of the songs that was played at Lily's Burial Service. It was the final song, ending the Service on a hopeful note. That harmonica and those lyrics take me right back. I shared with JJ Heller what this song means to me and she actually responded.

"Your Hands" by JJ Heller
I have unanswered prayers
I have trouble I wish wasn't there
And I have asked a thousand ways
That You would take my pain away
I am trying to understand
How to walk this weary land
Make straight the paths that crooked lie
Oh, Lord before these feet of mine
When my world is shaking, Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave Your hands
When You walked upon the Earth
You healed the broken, lost, and hurt
I know You hate to see me cry
One day You will set all things right
Yeah, one day You will set all things right
When my world is shaking, Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave Your hands
Your hands that shaped the world
Are holding me
They hold me still

-Click here to read more about the day of Lily's Burial.

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JJ Heller Concert

My birthday week celebrations kicked off on Monday night with dinner in charming downtown Apex, NC and a JJ Heller concert with my best friend, Kala! It was a small and intimate ladies' night concert at a church in Apex. Kala and I sat on the 3rd row which was awesome. :-)

JJ and her husband Dave are hilarious and simply adorable together! It was enjoyable to hear their stories and heart behind their songs, every one of of which is special, the lyrics are beautiful, and JJ's voice is uniquely lovely. They played several of the songs I know and love already and surprised us with some new ones off their upcoming album that's releasing later this month (love her new song, "Sound of a Living Heart"). 

The song I most hoped they'd play was "Your Hands." This is one of three songs I played at Lily Katherine's Celebration of Life Service in March 2010. I was so excited when they played it. They talked about the story behind it which was so neat to hear about. I couldn't keep the tears from falling as the melody and words took me right back to the time "when my world is shaking, Heaven stands. When my heart is breaking, I never leave your hands. Your hands that shaped the world are holding me, they hold me still." The song is bittersweet and felt like the perfect thing to play at Lily's beautiful service. Hearing JJ rock that harmonica = amazing.

Listen to "Your Hands" below or by clicking HERE.

Because of my connection to this song, it made the concert that much sweeter. I only wish I could have met JJ afterwards to tell her how much that song (and all her songs) mean to me. The only song I really wish they had played is "Olivianna" about a baby girl who is with Lily in Heaven. What an amazing evening that is now a treasured memory, a true gift from the Lord! 

I found the perfect necklace at the merchandise table that I had to get, with lyrics on it from "Your Hands."

When Kala and I parked in downtown Apex, we pulled up right beside a charming store called.... Lilly's! It's so cute and obviously, I love the name and logo (only, they spelled it wrong). ;-)

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