The Little Fella and March 16, 2010

I have another special story to share about March 16, 2010. I nanny for two little boys - brothers that we will call "J" (almost 4) and "E" (9 months). I first started watching "J" in August 2012. Their mom found my profile on a nanny/babysitter website and contacted me about possibly being their nanny.

I went to their house one summer afternoon for an interview and to meet her little guy. She said he was 2 (at the time). Right away, I thought to myself that Lily would be 2 as well. I asked when his birthday is and she replied, "in March." I said, "oh, really? What day in March?" "The 16th." I nearly fell over when she told me this.

"J" was born on Lily's exact birthday - March 16, 2010! That makes him almost 4 now. I nanny a child who is the same age as my daughter! Out of all the kids and families out there, isn't that crazy?!

The Lord put us together before I had any idea when he was born. It has been healing and special over the past year and a half to spend time with a child her age. I have said before that if he was a girl, I think it would have been too hard for me to be his nanny. He is such a precious little boy (as is his baby brother who looks just like him). My nicknames for them are "the little fella" and "the mini fella." Those are the names I lovingly refer to them as to my family.

"J" has grown up so much in the time that I've known him. It's sad at times knowing that Lily would be growing up in similar ways. He is so smart and says the cutest, silliest things. Every now and then, I ask "J" how old he is and when his birthday is. It makes my heart skip a beat each time he responds the same way Lily would have had people been able to ask her the same questions. Getting "J" presents for his birthday is special for me since I can never get Lily a present to be given to her on her birthday. He is so excited about his birthday. :)

I didn't tell his mom right away about my special connection with March 16, but last year on Lily and "J's" 3rd birthday, I told her about my girl and our shared day. She was blown away at how it worked out! She was very sweet and loving about it. She knows that I am going up to Virginia this weekend and won't be able to work next Monday and is supportive and understanding about it.

Oh, and get this... "J's" dad and I share a birthday too! August 12th. Reminders of Lily are everywhere!

brothers "J" and "E"

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Our March 16, 2010 Babes

One of my good friends from high-school is named Kristen. We became friends when we were in the spring musical together our junior year and ended up going to prom together, along with my friend Rachel. This photo was taken of Kristen and I before prom - she was 17 and I was 16 (so 8 years ago this spring). Kristen's mom took a photo of the photo and shared it on Facebook.

Out of all the days, months, and years to have a baby, Kristen and I both had our babies on the exact same day - March 16, 2010! We were out of touch for a few years, so when I first heard this, I could not believe it. 

Kristen had a little boy, whose name also starts with an "L." If he had been a girl, I'm sure it would be harder for me to see photos of him growing up. It is odd though still to see photos and to know Lily would be the exact same age that he is. Maybe one day I will meet him. I'm sure if I do, thoughts of my girl will flood my heart and mind.

What a different day we had on March 16, 2010. The day could have been the day we both welcomed our healthy, full-term babies into the world. Yet, her day was as one would expect a birthday to be: full of joy and celebration, leading to a baby going home from the hospital to friends and family, eagerly waiting to meet him for the first time. And my day was filled with the most profound joy tinged with the deepest sorrow, leading to an empty car-seat on that hospital trip home and family and friends who said hello and goodbye in one breath, if they got to meet my baby girl at all before she was put to rest forever beneath the Virginia earth. For both of us, March 16, 2010 will always hold the memory of giving birth to our first-born babies, oh but what different memories we hold. How different each March 16 is for both of us from now on. The day could have been the day we'd celebrate each year with a cake and candles to be blown out by a child bigger than the year before. But, I celebrate with a cake for a little girl who will always stay a baby and will never blow out her own birthday candles.

Not only did Kristen and I have our babies on the same day, but we also had our baby showers on the exact same day - February 13, 2010!

Looking at that photo of us in high-school, I can't help but think about how we had no idea we would both have babies on the exact same day. I can't help but think of how carefree I was and how I never could have dreamed I'd one day (less than four years later) lose my baby before she took her first breath. Of course I would never, ever wish for anyone to know the pain of losing a child, but I can't help but wonder, why did it happen to me? I know deep down that God was in control and He has graciously allowed me to see some of the reasons. But I am a mere human, a mother, who has part of her heart in Heaven and will in a way always wonder why it had to happen to me.

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