Same Hospital and Date

I have no words for how precious my girl's prints are to me. 💕

When I shared this photo last night, one of my Instagram followers, who said she randomly found my page by browsing the front page, commented and said her brother was born at the same hospital in 1986, and also on March 16th! Such a small world! I'm always blown away by the similarities with others God places across my path.

Tweet

A Shared March 16th Birthday

My mom and I are good friends with our neighbor, Joanna, who lives just 2 houses down. The fact that we live so close and that we are friends makes it even more "ironic" that her daughter, Ashley, was also born on March 16th. She will be 13 this year, which means Lily was born on her 7th birthday.

We didn't know them well when Lily was born. However, it's crazy to think about how we were living by each other and we had no idea that on the day I was at the hospital delivering Lily, they were celebrating Ashley's birthday. Two little girls born at the hospital on the same date 7 years apart.

We discovered this shared date a year later, when Lily would have turned 1. It came up in casual conversation with my mom one day. That was around the time we started becoming friends with Joanna. We decided to take Ashley a gift to honor Lily on her birthday, since we can't get anything for our own little girl. They didm't even know about Lily at that point, but right when we took the gift over, Joanna was surprised we remembered her birthday and said, "oh, you must have someone in your family with that birthday." So my mom told her about our girl. She was so sweet about it and wrote in a thank you card: "Ashley has really enjoyed her birthday gifts. I'm glad she could bring happiness to your special day." (I am referencing old blog posts to recall these details).

Here is the gift we gave Ashley in 2011 (Lily's 1st birthday).

After that first year giving Ashley a gift, we decided to make it an annual tradition to honor Lily. And by that point, we had become good friends with Joanna. 

Here is the gift we gave Ashley in 2012 (Lily's 2nd birthday).

In 2013, we had a special little celebration for both Lily and Ashley at their house. I even took some of my Lily keepsakes over to share. Here's a photo of Joanna, Ashley, and I on that day.

Joanna got a cake that said "Happy 10th Birthday, Ashley." I wish she had included Lily's name too since it was for both of the just-as-real-and-loved girls born on March 16th. And of course it hurt when I didn't see her name, but I recognize and understand that people simply cannot understand what I want and need. People don't know how to handle Lily and the loss of her. I need to remember to have grace in that and to not take offense. Instead, I will continue to gently "grieve out loud," say her name, and incorporate her into my life. Maybe people will start to take a hint about how I love to include Lily as I continue to do so. I took 10 candles for Ashley and a number "3" for Lily's 3rd birthday. So, she was still honored on the cake after all. I actually wrote a blog post about how disappointed I was that night which you can read HERE. 

Here is the gift we gave Ashley in 2013 (Lily's 3rd birthday).

Not only is doing this for Ashley a sweet way to honor Lily, but we really enjoy shopping for little girls! We loved watching Ashley open her gifts and it meant so much to see how she truly loved what we gave her! She made use of her gifts while we were there.

Here is Ashley with the gift we gave her in 2014 (Lily's 4th birthday). 

Another successful year with a gift she enjoyed. :)

This is the chocolate cake we enjoyed. My mom made it from scratch (it was a big hit!) And I decorated it. Okay, don't laugh at how awful it looks haha. At least you can read it (it says Happy B-day L & A). There were 11 candles for Ashley and Lily's number "4" candle. We sang "Happy Birthday" and Ashley blew the candles out.

Here is the card we gave Ashley that year. It has a butterfly holding a cupcake. When I saw it, it reminded me of Lily, which is why I selected it. :)

For Lily's 5th birthday in 2015, my sister-in-law, Kala, and I made red-velvet cupcakes for the celebration. Ashley loved the gift we chose for her. Each year, as Ashley grows older, she likes different things and it makes me wonder what Lily would like as she'd grow up. When I hear "A" talk about her March 16 birthday, it makes my heart sink a little to know I'll never hear those words come from the lips of my daughter. I took Lily's prints to have her a part of the evening.

Here is the gift we're giving Ashley this year (Lily's 6th birthday).



And here's the card... perfect with flowers for my flower. :)

Oh, and Joanna wrote Lily's name in the sand for me in July 2013 at Cove Point, Lusby/Solomons, Maryland. That was sweet of her. :)

Click HERE to read all my "Similarity Stories."

Tweet

Genesis and March 16

I have a friend I met online whose daughter, Genesis, was also stillborn. Her birthday is actually on March 16th as well! This year, she would be turning 9. I hold a special spot in my heart for Genesis and her mama, Tiffany. Just knowing that we share that sacred date is enough to make her my friend. :)

It is interesting reading what she writes because there are so many similarities between us... the same anticipation about our daughter's impending birthdays when the new year rolls around. The same tie we have to March 17th, St. Patrick's Day, and how we associate that date and all things green and clovers with our girls.

Anytime I see dragonflies, something that makes Tiffany think of Genesis, it also makes me think of her. It's amazing how we carry the babies of our friends with us always too. We both also like to snap photos of the things that are "winks from Heaven," as I call them. For instance, I saw this truck the other day, which made me think of Lily and Genesis, so I took a photo and sent it to Tiffany as well.

Each year on March 16th, I like to see how Tiffany honors Genesis. We both have traditions. It is sweet thinking of them throughout that day, knowing that Tiffany is probably feeling many of the things I am at the same time I am.

Click HERE to read all my "Similarity Stories."

Tweet

So Many Similarities

I have been meaning to share this for a long time. It's one of those crazy "coincidence" stories, except with God, I know there are no coincidences. Things like this always seem to happen to me.

In January 2010, when I was seven months pregnant with Lily, someone reached out to me on Facebook because we have the exact same name, Hannah Rose Allen. Right away we became friends because of our name.

Not only do we share the same name, but we also were born only three weeks apart!

And we both live in North Carolina, just a couple hours away from each other. We are hoping to meet in person for the first time this year.

Hannah told me about her daughter, Savannah, when we first connected, because she saw I was pregnant with my own daughter at the time. For many years, I had wanted to have a daughter named Savannah Grace. Hannah told me she had initially wanted the middle name Grace as well.

Savannah was born three months early and passed away at two months old. When Hannah first told me this, I told her, "Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry. I can't imagine how tough that must be." Little did I know that in just a couple months, I would be losing my little girl too.

Hannah wrote, "I'm sorry, but I thought that I had freaked you out by telling you that the baby had passed because we have so much in common." And I responded, "No way, I'm not weirdly superstitious or anything."

I wrote Hannah on March 17th, saying "I thought I'd let you know that we have yet another thing in common. One that I wish weren't so..."

Lily was born on March 16th and Savannah was born on March 18th, just two days apart and separated by a year (2009 and 2010).

Also, I was due with Lily on the 14th and if I had not gone into labor by the 18th, I would have been induced on Savannah's birthday.

Both of our daughters brought us to Jesus through unplanned pregnancies and have taught other people that abortion is wrong.

We have the same name, live in the same state, were born less than a month apart, our daughters birthdays are a couple days apart, and are both with Jesus, and we both like the name Savannah Grace. Aren't all those similarities crazy?!

It has been really special to encourage one another in the loss of our daughters over the past five years. I know God brought us together in friendship. :)

Click HERE to read all my "Similarity Stories."

Tweet

The Little Fella and March 16, 2010

I have another special story to share about March 16, 2010. I nanny for two little boys - brothers that we will call "J" (almost 4) and "E" (9 months). I first started watching "J" in August 2012. Their mom found my profile on a nanny/babysitter website and contacted me about possibly being their nanny.

I went to their house one summer afternoon for an interview and to meet her little guy. She said he was 2 (at the time). Right away, I thought to myself that Lily would be 2 as well. I asked when his birthday is and she replied, "in March." I said, "oh, really? What day in March?" "The 16th." I nearly fell over when she told me this.

"J" was born on Lily's exact birthday - March 16, 2010! That makes him almost 4 now. I nanny a child who is the same age as my daughter! Out of all the kids and families out there, isn't that crazy?!

The Lord put us together before I had any idea when he was born. It has been healing and special over the past year and a half to spend time with a child her age. I have said before that if he was a girl, I think it would have been too hard for me to be his nanny. He is such a precious little boy (as is his baby brother who looks just like him). My nicknames for them are "the little fella" and "the mini fella." Those are the names I lovingly refer to them as to my family.

"J" has grown up so much in the time that I've known him. It's sad at times knowing that Lily would be growing up in similar ways. He is so smart and says the cutest, silliest things. Every now and then, I ask "J" how old he is and when his birthday is. It makes my heart skip a beat each time he responds the same way Lily would have had people been able to ask her the same questions. Getting "J" presents for his birthday is special for me since I can never get Lily a present to be given to her on her birthday. He is so excited about his birthday. :)

I didn't tell his mom right away about my special connection with March 16, but last year on Lily and "J's" 3rd birthday, I told her about my girl and our shared day. She was blown away at how it worked out! She was very sweet and loving about it. She knows that I am going up to Virginia this weekend and won't be able to work next Monday and is supportive and understanding about it.

Oh, and get this... "J's" dad and I share a birthday too! August 12th. Reminders of Lily are everywhere!

brothers "J" and "E"

Click HERE to read all my "Similarity Stories."

Tweet

Our March 16, 2010 Babes

One of my good friends from high-school is named Kristen. We became friends when we were in the spring musical together our junior year and ended up going to prom together, along with my friend Rachel. This photo was taken of Kristen and I before prom - she was 17 and I was 16 (so 8 years ago this spring). Kristen's mom took a photo of the photo and shared it on Facebook.

Out of all the days, months, and years to have a baby, Kristen and I both had our babies on the exact same day - March 16, 2010! We were out of touch for a few years, so when I first heard this, I could not believe it. 

Kristen had a little boy, whose name also starts with an "L." If he had been a girl, I'm sure it would be harder for me to see photos of him growing up. It is odd though still to see photos and to know Lily would be the exact same age that he is. Maybe one day I will meet him. I'm sure if I do, thoughts of my girl will flood my heart and mind.

What a different day we had on March 16, 2010. The day could have been the day we both welcomed our healthy, full-term babies into the world. Yet, her day was as one would expect a birthday to be: full of joy and celebration, leading to a baby going home from the hospital to friends and family, eagerly waiting to meet him for the first time. And my day was filled with the most profound joy tinged with the deepest sorrow, leading to an empty car-seat on that hospital trip home and family and friends who said hello and goodbye in one breath, if they got to meet my baby girl at all before she was put to rest forever beneath the Virginia earth. For both of us, March 16, 2010 will always hold the memory of giving birth to our first-born babies, oh but what different memories we hold. How different each March 16 is for both of us from now on. The day could have been the day we'd celebrate each year with a cake and candles to be blown out by a child bigger than the year before. But, I celebrate with a cake for a little girl who will always stay a baby and will never blow out her own birthday candles.

Not only did Kristen and I have our babies on the same day, but we also had our baby showers on the exact same day - February 13, 2010!

Looking at that photo of us in high-school, I can't help but think about how we had no idea we would both have babies on the exact same day. I can't help but think of how carefree I was and how I never could have dreamed I'd one day (less than four years later) lose my baby before she took her first breath. Of course I would never, ever wish for anyone to know the pain of losing a child, but I can't help but wonder, why did it happen to me? I know deep down that God was in control and He has graciously allowed me to see some of the reasons. But I am a mere human, a mother, who has part of her heart in Heaven and will in a way always wonder why it had to happen to me.

Click HERE to read all my "Similarity Stories."

Tweet

The Little Gal

Remember my friend Alyssa who I blogged about a couple months ago? She and her husband Kendrick were anticipating the arrival of their rainbow baby, Olivia Rose!!

Well, I wanted to give a little update for everyone who has been praying for their little family. Olivia arrived on July 31st and weighed the same as my Lily did at birth-7 pounds 9 ounces. Their whole journey has been so difficult with trying to conceive, losing their precious Liliana, going on bedrest with Olivia, and issues during pregnancy and delivery. Olivia truly is their little miracle baby. After spending a couple days in the NICU after birth, she got to go home with her happy parents.

Guess what else...this week, I am officially Olivia Rose's nanny! It's such an honor, gift, and joy for me. I have so many things in common with their family so it makes it extra special. I truly believe Olivia Rose and I share a special connection because not only do we share our middle name, but her sister named Lily Allen (yes, we share a last name as well) and my daughter named Lily Allen are together in Heaven. Liliana was due on August 12th-my birthday!

I love cuddling this sweet baby and am so overjoyed for Kendrick and Alyssa that they finally have her in their arms, healthy and happy!

Olivia is only 6 weeks old now and is perfect for my little photography subject! ;) It is such a healing and beautiful thing for me to be around and caring for a baby girl. I am thanking Jesus for the gift He's giving me in caring for this very special little princess. He worked out all the details so I can continue with my other nanny jobs as well. My nickname for her is "the little gal." I already love her so very much and am excited to see her grow up! She couldn't have sweeter, more deserving parents. And seriously...she is truly a beautiful baby and already looks so feminine!

A precious picture of Olivia's adorable baby toes... I could only capture a couple before
she was fussing and ready to be held again. I don't mind holding her one bit ;)

Click HERE to read all my "Similarity Stories."

Tweet