Monday, May 16, 2011

Lily's Doves

Jess from Heaven's Doves sent me this beautiful photo for Lily Katherine.


Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Mother's Day, part one

"Mother’s Day is a day of appreciation and respect. I can think of no mothers who deserve it more than those who had to give a child back."
~ Erma Bombeck ~
Do I truly deserve to be labeled "a mother" on Mother's Day? Do I deserve to be acknowledged as one of these set-apart? How strange it seems for someone to wish me a "Happy Mother's Day" as I live and breathe without the very soul that rendered me a mother. I mean, what is the appropriate response to this? 
"Thank you?"

Because how happy could I possibly feel on this day that reminds me of everything I lost, everything I long for, every dream I have for the future...a dream that doesn't seem like it will ever be in my grasp. To have a family of my own...To give birth to another beautiful baby, a healthy baby. A baby that I know will never, could never replace my beloved first born, yet would fulfill the longing I've carried with me since I was a young girl, to mother children here on earth. As an innocent, young girl, I would literally have dreams about finding a baby in the supermarket and I had to take her home with me to nurture and protect her. I was a rescuer, a champion for life. I see now God put that in my heart, even as a five-year-old...a passion for LIFE, for babies, for being a mother. Because He knew where I would end up one day. He knew what story He was going to script for me in the coming years and how He was to use me for His glory and purposes.
For me, this day is a day of the deepest sorrow one can know, yet the richest, most indescribable beauty and joy. For the rest of my life, I will be a mother. Her mother. What was once my greatest burden, getting pregnant out of marriage, has turned into my greatest delight. What a God we serve, that transforms even the most callous and broken of hearts into a glorious display of His healing power. 

And I truly believe with all that is in me that one day I will me a mommy to another precious life, a life that I will be responsible for raising in the ways of the Lord. Until that day, I'm proud to be her mother. Proud to carry her legacy with me everywhere I go...
You've made me a mommy, my Lily girl...thank you for giving me the greatest honor of my life.


Monday, May 9, 2011

Mother's Day Flowers

These Mother's Day flowers are for each of my dear friends with babies in Heaven. Love you all!


Sunday, May 8, 2011

Mother's Day Video

My blogger friend, Annette, made this amazing video celebrating mothers on Mother's Day. It shows all the faces of women around the world who have children in Heaven. Thank you for including me in this! Be sure to pause the music on my blog at the bottom of the page.


Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Mother's Day Tea Party

A family friend invited my mom and I to a Mother's Day tea party at her house today. It was very special to be included, honored, and recognized as a mother. Everything was so lovely, from the flowers and chocolate for each mother placed at each of our spots around the table, to the tea and delicious sandwiches, cake, and other goodies. It was extra special for me to have the tea party right in between Babylost Mother's Day and Mother's Day. Lovely morning spent with lovely ladies.  :-)



Sunday, May 1, 2011

Babylost Mother's Day

Today I remember her. For the second time, I recognize a day I wish I didn't know existed, yet because I'm here, in this place, I'm so glad I do. Today is International Babylost Mother's Day. What is it, you ask?

United in grief, we find love and strength.

IBMD recognizes babylost women all over the world as mothers. Just because a woman loses her baby does not mean that she is not a mother anymore. She will be a mother for the rest of her life.
On the first Sunday in May we come together to celebrate our connection, our children and our hope for the future. IBMD is a day for love, peace, remembrance and recognition.
If you know a babylost woman why not tell her today that she is a beautiful mother by sending here one of our flowers from The Rainbow Flower Gallery.

Thank you to all of my sweet friends who sent me one of these flowers. I am so blessed to be a part of this community. We truly are united in grief and united in our love for our children. My dear friend, Kala, surprised me with these beautiful sunflowers today! Seriously, how did I end up with such a wonderful friend living right down the road from me? :-) She also gave me a card with a butterfly and flowers on it that says:

Thinking of you and Lily on the special day,
this day that no one wants to be a part of.
You are strong because you let Him be strong for you.
Happy Babylost Mother's Day.
I love you,

Kala made these delicious cake bakes, which I like to call muffin bites. ;-)
At the end of the night, I lit a candle in honor of Lily. I got a Lily of the Valley scented candle for special occasions such as this.

To all my beautiful friends that had to give their child back, this flower is for you.

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