A Simple, Messy Note

My good friend Brittany is truly a kindred heart - she volunteers at her local pregnancy resource center, writes a blog about post-abortion healing, and locally speaks, sharing her pro-life story. 

Brittany sent me this photo. It is the note I left on the wall at the National Memorial for the Unborn in Chattanooga, Tennessee when I went on Mother's Day 2011. NMU is such a beautiful, sacred place. I have a name plate and brick waiting to be placed for Lily and Luke and plan on going again as soon as possible (hopefully next spring). I had nothing to leave on this memorial wall where people leave things for their babies who were aborted. I randomly found an envelope and scribbled this little note on it, just to have something there until I can get something together to take next time. 

Brittany lives in the Chattanooga area and came across this note one day. She visited my blog and wrote me an email last November. We have written many, many emails since then and the Lord has used her as an instrument in my healing. We haven't met in person yet, but plan to next year when I go back to NMU (and hopefully at the March for LIFE in D.C. in January as well!) Anyways, I am just amazed at how God brought us together in friendship through this random little note. Brittany took a picture of it because I honestly couldn't even remember what I had written on it. 

A gal I went to high-school with in Virginia (I now live in North Carolina) is in grad school in Boulder, Colorado. She wrote to tell me about a fellow student who is doing her dissertation on rhetoric surrounding unborn babies... this classmate of hers went to the National Memorial for the Unborn in Chattanooga, Tennessee and mentioned my story today in a presentation! She saw this piece of paper there. Now, my old classmate is going to connect us! What a small world, huh? 

Also, a gal who was in my sister's semester at Ellerslie in Colorado from spring 2012 wrote to tell me that her family received a focus on the family newsletter in their church in Canada and she was reading it and it sounded familiar so she turned it over and saw it was written by me! She had heard me share my story at Ellerslie. I'm guessing something I wrote for one of the pro-life websites gave permission for somebody to reprint something I wrote. 

It is just really neat to see how God is using my testimony and my Lily and Luke in ways I never could have imagined... and how He connects hearts and lives in all different states and countries and in all sorts of ways. I had no idea He'd use this messy note to connect me with people!

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Lily's Brick Paver at the National Memorial for the Unborn

Someone from the National Memorial for the Unborn sent me this photo of Lily's brick paver! It is now ready and waiting for me to come and place it myself - hopefully in early May when I am planning on taking a trip to Tennessee for Luke's Remembrance Ceremony. I appreciate them sending me a photo of it so I can see what it looks like.

I chose to include her beautiful name, birthdate, and "Forever Pure," which is what she will always be. Her name means "purity and innocence." I am thinking of using that phrase on her headstone as well.

Here is a photo of me walking on the path in the Memorial Garden at NMU where Lily's brick will be placed. I visited there for the first time on Mother's Day 2011. But, I didn't have the brick and name plate ready to be placed at that time.

Here is a little peek into the garden.

NMU is such a beautiful and special place! I am really looking forward to my trip this spring. :) If you have had an abortion or a miscarried/stillborn baby, I highly recommend looking into honoring your child at this sacred place.

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Dreams for 2013

I just wrote my "Reflections on 2012" post a couple days ago and decided to now share some of my dreams for the new year. I believe God has big plans for each of us in 2013!

A bright and beautiful butterfly to symbolize the bright
and beautiful new beginnings the Lord has for us this year :)

First of all, I really want to participate in the annual March for Life in Washington D.C. this month - for Sanctity of Life Month (which is every January). The March is always held on or around January 22nd, the date that abortion was legalized in America. The March this year will be held on Friday, January 25th. This year is the 40th anniversary of Roe v. Wade and I think it will be really powerful to take part in it now. My friend Rachel and I will probably be going together which should be quite the memorable adventure! My mom may also go. There are plenty of people around the country who would love to participate in the March and since I don't live very far from D.C., I figure I'll take advantage of that! I have wanted to go for the last couple years, so am really excited about this. As long as the Lord works out all the details, I will be there! I will be marching with the Silent No More Awareness Campaign and will be holding an "I Regret My Abortion" sign. After the walk, I will be sharing my testimony with many people in front of the Supreme Court! If anyone is able to come participate in the March, let me know - I would LOVE to see you there! :) We cannot remain silent for the unborn or the men and women affected by abortion! Jesus, this is for Your glory. Lily and Luke, this is in honor and memory of you. I WILL BE YOUR VOICE!!

This month, I will be starting a Post-Abortion Group Bible Study at a local Pregnancy Center. I pray the Lord reveals any hidden things buried in my heart that need to be brought to the surface. I want complete freedom and healing and I know that is what Jesus desires to give each of us.

I hope to get Lily's headstone ordered and placed this year! As I have written about before, this is very important to me. It is a beautiful way to honor her life and prove to the world, SHE WAS REAL AND IMPORTANT AND I LOVE HER!! I am just trying to find the place that will make her stone the exact way I want it for an affordable price. You know something I was thinking about...with the logic that some people use, since Lily never lived outside of my womb, she was not a real person. She was just a "fetus," or "tissue." Well, if that's all she was, then what exactly is buried at that cemetery in Virginia? Why does she have a name? Why am I getting a headstone as a memorial? I think it is just another testimony to the beauty of LIFE to have a headstone for her and to prove to the world that unborn babies are precious and valuable to God!

In May, I hope to make a trip to Tennessee to the National Memorial for the Unborn to have Luke's Remembrance Ceremony and place his name plate on the memorial wall, as well as place Lily's brick paver in the memorial garden there. I have been wanting to do this for over two years! On this trip, I will get to meet my amazing new friend, Brittany!

I have felt the Lord leading me for a while to get involved in a local Crisis Pregnancy Center, but it hasn't felt like the right time until now. This year, I will be pursuing that. I am not sure what I will be doing there, but I trust the Lord to open up the doors and reveal all the specifics.

I am also working on launching a new website that ministers to Post-Abortive men and women. It will be called "Be Their Voice." As of right now, it is set to go live on Luke's 4th Heaven Day - February 6th. I will be sharing stories of men and women who regret their abortions, ideas on how to honor and remember an aborted baby, and many Post-Abortion resources. I will also be sharing ideas on how to be the voice of aborted babies, by sharing our stories in different ways. I have done several hours of research myself and thought of different ideas, so why not organize it all in one place to bless others?! God is giving me a new vision for Post-Abortive ministry and cultivating different dreams in my heart. I am excited to see what He does!

I will be donating hospital comfort boxes to the hospital where Lily was born this year! This has been a long time coming. Since this is something I like to do in honor of Lily, I am also praying about something I can do in honor of Luke and all babies who have been aborted. Whatever it is will be a part of the new website. I hope to be able to make something to honor their lives for free to Post-Abortive men and women.

This year, I would love more opportunities to share my story and heart for unborn life and those affected by abortion and unplanned pregnancies...both in speaking and writing.

Of course, these are all my dreams and God may have different things in store. I trust that He knows what's best and His dreams for my life are better than my own. :) What I truly desire is to know Jesus more this year and to be faithful in whatever He asks of me.

It is always a little hard for me when one year ends and another begins...it just feels like I'm moving farther away from Lily and Luke. I know some people are so ready for the year their baby died to be over, but when 2010 ended, I remember how sad I felt. Because for the rest of my life, 2010 will be "Lily's year." And when it ended, it felt like I was moving away from her. It still feels that way with each new year that rolls around, just different.

Every year, I literally could never plan or predict how God is going to move. So, we will see what the "Reflections on 2013" post contains in 12 months from now! Jesus, this is all for You...so take my life and let it be all for Your glory!

What are you dreams for the new year? I pray we each fix our eyes upon Jesus and that He will accomplish His Kingdom work through us...

This is an excellent article called, "13 Questions for the New Year."

This week, I am on vacation with my family, staying at a cozy little log cabin. I am thankful for the time to think, pray and just be. It is a refreshing time. Happy New Year, friends! :)

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Luke's Marble Plate

This week, something special came in the mail! :) Back at the beginning of the year, I ordered and received my two copies of Luke's memorial plaque. The original will be displayed at the National Memorial for the Unborn in Chattanooga, Tennessee when I am able to make a trip there to place it myself. This week, the marble plate came that I can display his plaque on, with a piece on the bottom that says what it is. I love it! It's perfect for his memory chest. I am planning his service and look forward to going soon (hopefully this upcoming spring!)

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Memorial Brick Paver

For Mother's Day, my mom got me a very special Mother's Day gift. It is the brick paver I've been wanting to get in honor of Lily for a long time, at the National Memorial for the Unborn. Back in January, I ordered my plaque for Luke Shiloh. Now I finally have ordered the brick too.


Here is what the brick paver will say:


Lily Katherine
March 16, 2010
Forever Pure


Her name, birthday and the perfect meaning of her name.


Last spring, my brother and I took a lovely trip to Tennessee to visit our friends Amanda and Jonathan (and kiddos) and the Lord worked out the details for us to make our first trip to NMU on Mother's Day! What a sweet gift it was. Now, I am hoping to take another trip sometime this year, so I can place both the plaque and brick myself. I'm thinking the fall time would be GORGEOUS, both the weather and the trees. Like October...what do you think, Amanda? ;-) I am really looking forward to having the memorial service for Luke and just a sacred time of honoring both my children. It means so much to me to have one place to remember them and honor them at the same time.


If you've had an abortion, I highly recommend looking into getting a plaque on the "Wall of Names" at the memorial. If you've had a miscarriage or stillborn baby, the garden with brick pavers in honor of these babies is such a special place to honor them! Go to the website for more information about the memorial and garden and see the amazing history behind it.


On another note, the funeral home that we used for Lily's burial supplies a temporary marker. My grandmother just called there this week and now they are going to get it made and placed soon! I am hoping it will be ready by this summer for when I go up to visit Virginia. I know it's not as nice (or big) as a real headstone, but I am thankful for at least something there with her name that says it's her spot and so people know where to bring flowers etc. It is actually quite nice. I will definitely post pictures when I finally get up there to see it. Any ideas on what I could take to her spot this summer?

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NMU Plaque arrived!

This past weekend, I got something in the mail that I wasn't expecting. Well, I was, but I didn't know exactly when it would be arriving and it wasn't on the forefront of my mind. I got Luke Shiloh's plaque from the National Memorial for the Unborn! Isn't it beautiful? I also got the copy that will be placed on the actual memorial wall that I will place when I go visit in the near future and have Luke's special service. :-)

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