Showing posts with label pregnancy center. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pregnancy center. Show all posts

Sunday, January 29, 2017

A Friendship Because of Lily

There are those special friends who you can pick up with right where you left off after not seeing each other for years. Anna is one of those friends to me. :)

She was one of the first people to know about my sweet Lily. We met when I went to a Pregnancy Center in Virginia, where Anna was serving as the Director, in August 2009, when I was in my first trimester of pregnancy. She radiated such love, compassion, and kindness, and offered rich wisdom that left a lasting impact on me. I thought of her often throughout the months of carrying Lily and wanted to tell her how much my time with her meant and how it helped shape my outlook and helped me be brave.

When I finally did contact her, it was unexpectedly to invite her to Lily's Memorial Burial Service in March 2010. I'm thankful that she came to celebrate her life and mourn her loss.

A couple years later, Anna got married and I was honored to photograph their beautiful wedding.

Each time I visit with her, I'm encouraged by her life and testimony. I loved getting to meet her adorable daughters yesterday and having her meet my niece. When I was a few weeks pregnant, God whispered to my heart that if I chose life, I couldn't imagine the beauty that He would bring. Well, Anna's friendship and a passion for photography were two of the realities of that promise. 

Anna recently moved back to Virginia and told me that every time she passes the Cemetery where Lily's spot is, she thinks of her. That made me teary-eyed. I was reflecting and telling her how crazy it is how long we've known each other and that she was one of the first people to know of the precious girl who is known by thousands now, and she said that's why Lily is so special to her. ❤️


This is something I wrote about my visit to the Pregnancy Center in an email to my friend Bex. I am so thankful to have these words to see what exactly I was thinking then:
I went to the Pregnancy Center on Monday. I met with one of the counselors there, Anna. I didn't really know what to expect going in there. The Pregnancy Center of Central Virginia is a Christian establishment and as soon as I walked in the door, I felt comfortable and loved. The lady at the front desk had a warm smile on her face and was very helpful. Then, I met with Anna and I knew she wasn't judging me or thinking about what a horrible person I am. Her words were tender and sweet, and I felt comfortable enough to openly discuss everything with her. I told her I am considering adoption and she recommended Bethany Christian Services, the very same place you sent me a link to in your first message to me! She gave me all sorts of pamphlets when I left with information on the things we had discussed. She gave me the number to Bethany, as well as the number to both hospitals in the area, so I can get set up with a doctor. She told me someone that works in the Center has a daughter that got pregnant and placed her baby for adoption. I told her the church I have been attending with my grandmother, and then told her the church I would like to try. Her eyes lit up and she said, "that's the church I attend." She invited me to go with her. She talked with me as long as I wanted, and then prayed for me. Her prayer was heartfelt and sincere, and brought tears to my eyes. While she was getting all the pamphlets together for me, I watched a fifteen minute video on adoption. I was filled with emotion and tears were streaming down my face. I am scared of the pain that is to come if I do indeed choose adoption. I walked out of the Pregnancy Center that day with great hope. I was at complete peace with my choice of life.

This is Anna's account of the day we met, written a few years ago:
I remember the day you (Hannah) walked into the Center with your boyfriend at the time. I remember that you looked scared and a bit down, very down. But in your eyes was a spark of the desire to have hope. You sat down on the couch opposite me, hungry for some direction that would give you peace in your pregnancy. I could see that things were hard between you and him, and that there was so much in your heart and to your soul that he wasn't even aware of. I could see your potential and a bit of who you really were, is what I'm trying to say. As I talked to you I felt the Spirit pouring out His story of hope to you. Choose Life.....maybe even adoption. I could tell that your character was deep, but I wasn't sure how you were feeling - what would be your outcome? As you watched the adoption video, I remember seeing that you had so much emotion welling up - your mother's heart was showing.....and being wrenched. It was in the following days ahead that I really got to see verified what I had only believed was true- as you mentioned that you were going forward, going to have your baby, and give it the best life you could. The most amazing thing of all to me was when you said you just couldn't stay with your boyfriend, but that you had to make a decision to move beyond him, for yourself but most importantly to honor God. I think I cheered at that in my office and bragged on you to the staff!! We don't see that kind of decision hardly EVER! It is rare, though we pray for it to increase. Your heart was breaking over so many losses, but you had your eye on His gain. I knew that would take you far, and, secretly I was hoping we would get to stay in touch so that I could see just how God would bless your heart of David and heart of Esther! As your baby was nearing birth, I was so excited for you....and then, my heart broke, as you told me the news that must crush every mother's most inner sensibility. I felt that loss so acutely. Little Lily was a miracle, and even her name was a testimony to your growing in His light like a flower blooming in her season. Getting to come to the funeral was a huge blessing, as I was able to be with you and also your family (who had supported the Pregnancy Centers for many years and was well known among our staff). I felt that I was getting to be there with the granddaughter of one of the PCCV matrons - your grandma Nancy Virginia Bain! Through time and after Lily's going back to be with Jesus, getting to know you personally has just been one of the sweetest treasures, like nectar bottled up from such a sweet flower of the past. I don't get to get close to all clients like I did you - they are transient, they pass in and out, etc. But, you....God allowed our acquaintance to deepen to friendship and deep sister love in the Spirit. You are so special, and I just know that His plan for you is just radiantly expansive, with impact that ripples like waves out from a rock hitting the water. You are forever precious to me and I hope we will always stay in touch!!!! Also, one of the greatest gifts you gave to me was that you would pursue God and His direction in your life relentlessly. When you could have taken the easy way, you chose HIM!! Every time you'd tell me what you were up to, I could see the little "normal" veerings as you were trying to discover the right way...the path to Life.....but, always you would end up choosing it! It brought joy and surprise to me like I hadn't felt with any other person who had sought the Center for help. You are truly unique!"

In 2013, Anna and I were actually both interviewed for a WORLD Magazine article which you can read by clicking here.

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Sunday, May 4, 2014

Walk for Life Fundraiser!

Hello friends and family! As some of you know, I volunteer at a local pro-life pregnancy center. They depend upon donations. One of their major fundraisers of the year is the annual Walk for Life, which will be held tomorrow, May 4th. I am raising some money for the center because I fully believe in the heart of this ministry. They are in the front lines of the battle for LIFE and they love moms, dads, and babies in a selfless, beautiful way. I am honored and blessed to volunteer at this center. I see firsthand the lives that are impacted.

If you are able, please consider contributing to help me reach my fundraising goal. Any amount helps! This is an awesome way to truly stand for LIFE!

I will be sharing more later about the walk. You can donate online or make a pledge on my fundraising page by clicking HERE. Everything is safe and confidential. Thank you so much!


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Saturday, July 13, 2013

Speaking at my third Pregnancy Center Banquet

I shared before that I will be speaking at my first and second Pregnancy Center Fundraiser Banquets this fall (one in Illinois in October and one in Kentucky in November).

I was contacted by somebody who works for the Havelock Pregnancy Resource Center, which is located near the North Carolina coast. She read something that I wrote on LifeNews.com and was very touched by my story. I have been asked to be their keynote speaker at their annual banquet this September 19th (my grandmother's birthday). Since it's in NC and I live in NC, I will not have to fly and will be able to drive there.

It turns out, this will actually be my first banquet since it's happening before the other two... and my mom will be able to come with me since it's only a couple hours away! That was really important to the both of us that she could hear me speak in person.

Anyways, this is such an honor and joy and I'm really looking forward to the many speaking engagements coming up. I'm preparing my heart and words... and praying that the Lord brings even more opportunities my way. :)

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Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Speaking at my second Pregnancy Center Banquet

A couple months ago, I shared that I will be speaking at my first Pregnancy Center Fundraising Banquet in Illinois this October!

Well, since then, I was asked to speak at another banquet in Kentucky this November! I'm so excited to see how God continues to open the doors for me to share.

How it happened was my blog friend Mattie is the director of her local Crisis Pregnancy Center and she saw that I am now speaking at pro-life events... she contacted me, saying they were looking for a speaker for their upcoming annual banquet this fall and asked if I'd be interested in coming to speak. I was of course honored that she'd even think to ask me! I surrendered the dream to the Lord and knew that if He desired for me to go, it would work out... though I was so hoping it would!

After she presented the possibility of having me come to speak to the Center's board of directors, they decided they do want me to come!

Now, I officially have two Pregnancy Center Banquets booked for this fall... and I'm waiting to hear back about another banquet next spring in another state.

What is so special is that Ellerslie Leadership Training, where I attended in Colorado, as well as my blog/blog friends I've met on this journey are so important to me. And now the first two Center Banquets where I will be speaking are through two sweet friends I've met through Ellerslie and my blog. :)

If you'd like to keep track of my speaking engagements, you can do so here.

Please pray for this Center, as well as for me, as the date of this banquet gets closer!

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Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Speaking at my first Pregnancy Center Banquet!

I have been waiting to announce this until I got the official confirmation in print! I am super excited to share that I will be speaking at my first Pregnancy Center Banquet this October! 

For a long time, I have known in my heart that part of the Lord's plan for my life and future is to share my story, both in speaking and writing. I just wasn't sure exactly how this would look...when it would happen, how it would happen, or where exactly I'd be sharing. The Lord has truly worked it all out and scripted the story so beautifully. When He writes the story of our lives, it's always so much better than anything we could ever write. :)

This is how it happened...

My dear friend, Dusty, who I met at Ellerslie, started volunteering at her local Crisis Pregnancy Center where she lives in Illinois...which is really awesome! Anyways, she randomly mentioned to some of the ladies there about my testimony and they sort of raised their eyebrows and looked at her and said they were looking for a speaker for their annual fall fund-raising banquet. She had an audio recording of me sharing my story at Ellerslie last April and let them listen to it. They said that was what they were looking for and they were going to present it to the board of directors at their next meeting. She sent me a letter and then called me (this was around the time I got back from the March for LIFE in D.C.) and asked if I would be interested in speaking there...would I?! :)

The meeting took a few weeks to happen...In that time, I was praying and surrendering this dream to the Lord. I was already so excited about the possibility of this actually happening, but didn't want to get too caught up in it that I was so disappointed if it ended up not working out. The Lord gave me the grace to surrender it into His hands. I really wanted it, but only if it was what God wanted. I knew if it was in His plan and timing, it would all work out...

Well, on February 18th (I like to keep track of dates) I got the email from Dusty saying that the board of directors decided that they do want me to come and speak! It was my first unofficial email. 

A couple days later, I spoke on the phone with one of the ladies who is on the board. She was so sweet and encouraging and invited me to speak! We had a lovely conversation and I happily accepted the request!

Then, I waited to get the "official confirmation" in the mail - which came yesterday, March 11th. I just noticed that at the top of the letter, there are two butterflies (which are very symbolic to me, symbolizing new life. This is a part of my new life in Christ and the purposes He has for me...and two...Luke and Lily). :)


This was a really special way to start off Lily's birthday week...like a sweet gift from my Jesus. :) I am going to keep this invitation in Lily's memory chest always...as a precious reminder of how the Lord brings beauty from ashes, restores and redeems, works all things together for our good and His glory. It is amazing, almost dream-like, to see these things becoming reality. For so long, I have known this would happen, but didn't know how or when. It is incredible to watch it all unfold, only by the hand of my God. It is so humbling to see how He gives me the platform to share His redeeming story of LIFE. 

The first time (actually, the first two times) I spoke in front of a large group of people sharing my story was at Ellerslie. This was such a gift because of how much the Ludy's ministry has affected my life and walk with Christ. And now my next time speaking (besides the March for LIFE) will be through someone I met at Ellerslie. God has opened many doors and worked many awesome things in my life through this amazing place and the people there. 

Here's what I know about the banquet so far...it is October 3rd and I will be given 15-20 minutes to share my testimony with an audience of around 220 adults. They are praying for me as I prepare for this special evening and they are expecting God to move in a powerful way "as the cause of Life is defended, God's grace is extended, and God's name is exalted." What I really love and appreciate about this particular Center is that they are focused on Christ, the Author of LIFE and that is why they are passionate about unborn LIFE. I am so excited, humbled, and honored to be chosen to be the featured speaker for this event. 

Here is a piece of the letter:

"We have listened to your testimony and feel that yours is a compelling story of God's grace triumphing over difficult times that gives evidence to His love for all human life."

God is so good to open this door for me to walk through. I know that He will give me the strength, grace, and words. If He has called me to this, He will give me what I need...even though I know I am supposed to speak, I am still quite an introvert and it is nerve-wracking to think of being on stage in front of all those people! That's how I know it's God's will for my life...nothing in me desires to stand before a crowd with a microphone, let alone to share something so raw and intimate...yet I do so because of the burning passion within. I must be the voice of my children. And I must share what Jesus has done for me!

I know how difficult it is to get started speaking publicly because places don't know you or how you will speak unless you have experience and speaking endorsements. I was stressed out about this for a while, but the Lord showed me I needed to surrender that fear. I knew I wasn't supposed to "try to make things happen" myself, but wait on His timing and wait for Him alone to open the doors. Each time I have shared, in writing or speaking, God has worked it all out, without manipulation or control on my part. It's so amazing to see how this is happening. And I believe this will help open doors for more similar speaking engagements! :)

I am very much looking forward to this for many reasons...I get to share my/Luke's/Lily's story in another state and share how amazing Jesus is and the value of LIFE! I hope to visit Chicago for the first time and visit my cousin, Daniel, who lives there! I also hope he can come hear me speak. I get to see some of my dearest friends in the world, my beloved Ellerslie sisters (mini-Ellerslie reunion!) They also get to hear me speak. And as I mentioned above, hopefully this will open up more doors for speaking!

I still don't know exactly how this life of mine will look - how all the chapters will be written, beautifully intertwined. But, I have come to the point where I am okay with that. All I need to know is what God has called me to today. I need to just take one step at a time, in obedience to what He's asking of me. Today, I know that I will be speaking at a Pregnancy Center Banquet in Illinois in October. Beyond that, I'm not sure what God has in store or where He'll lead me. But, I don't need to know...not until the time comes and He reveals the next step on this wild adventure of living for Him...

Not only do I post this to share it with others, but also because I want to record each season of my life...it is so incredible to look back on my life and see how faithful God has been through everything. It is neat to see my feelings, thoughts, and how God orchestrates everything.

Please pray that preparations for this event continue going smoothly. It is a few months out, but pray for good health, safe travels, the power of Jesus to minister, and that God will give me courage to stand up and share my story! I look forward to sharing more about this in the coming months.

I have some more exciting news coming soon! :)

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Thursday, June 17, 2010

Oh, the irony

I used to spend my Tuesday evenings at LifeCare Pregnancy Center in Raleigh. It was routine...all day, we would look forward to going to see all our friends at class. Then, we would get Papa John's for dinner (at this point, they were having a special deal each week.) Then, off to LifeCare we would go. We met our dear friend Angela there. Now, I see Angela somewhere else. I see her amongst a group of men and women who have lost their children...at ParentCare, an infant loss support group. 


We went from a place that is all about life to a place that is all about death. And she did the opposite. Angela lost her daughter, Nala, in October 2008, due to an incompetent cervix. Then, on Easter Sunday this year, she gave birth to her healthy baby boy, Caiden. Her precious rainbow baby..born on Easter Sunday. What a special day to be born. And you know what...I couldn't be more happy for her. 


I've had a hard time with feeling bitter and jealous of women that have completely healthy babies, especially when I feel they take it for granted. But, I don't feel that way about Angela. I am so thankful she has her rainbow baby. I am so happy to hear of any woman have her rainbow baby. 


A couple of weeks ago, I held a baby for the first time since I held Lily. It was Caiden. It might have something to do with the fact that he's a boy, and also just how excited I am for Angela, but it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. Angela knew what it would be like for me, having been through it herself, so it didn't feel awkward at all. She asked me if I wanted to hold him, not trying to force him in my arms. Mom did okay too...we were both nervous about how it would feel. She fed Caiden his bottle and held him for hours, thoroughly enjoying herself. I hope she gets to be a grandmother to a living child soon. She doesn't want anything else more.


It's a joke between Angela, my mom, and I that we are his "bonus grandma" and 'bonus auntie." We couldn't be more pleased to have those roles in his life. :)


The afternoon was spent catching up with Angela, talking openly about Lily and both of our experiences with losing our daughters, as well as what being pregnant was like after losing Nala. I held Caiden and admired his sweet little body. He fell right asleep in my arms, like he was totally comfortable with me...even though I felt quite tense at first. His little hand grasped firmly onto my finger. I thought of Lily and how she never got to do that. I pictured her tiny little fingers and toes. And the pain was mixed with joy. Pain because I never got to experience Lily like that...joy because of the hope I hold onto that one day I will have my own rainbow baby...that baby I will get to bring home and love on, snuggle with, and watch grow up. 


It felt so strange holding him, hearing him breathe, feeling his warmth, looking into his eyes, and feeling his little hand clutching tightly. It haunts me sometimes that I never knew Lily in that way. That's one of the hardest things for me...that I never saw her or held her with life within her. When I held her, she was already waiting for me in the Kingdom...and there she will wait.


holding a baby for the first time since Lily

the "bonus grandma"

Angela, Caiden and I

proud mommy with her precious rainbow baby



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