My precious niece, Harvest, recently fell asleep on my chest and I melted over how wonderful she is. 😌
Lullabies drifted into our ears. Not just an lullabies. Lily lullabies. The Jewel "Lullaby" album that I've written about many times before. One of my favorite pregnancy memories was listening to this album and how Lily would dance in my belly more than she ever did at any other time.
My sweet girl's perfectly formed little ears knew the tunes that now carry my niece into dreamland.
I can't listen to these tunes without tears welling up in my eyes over achingly beautiful memories. Wishing with all my heart I could have held Lily while she fell fast asleep to the same CD, as I do now with my niece. Smiling with knowing that though my arms did not, my womb did hold her, soothe her, comfort her, while she enjoyed these songs that became familiar to her. A love for this album is something these two cousins share and that is very special.
🎶 My love is as true as the oceans are blue,
and I always feel this way.
Just listen to the beating that keeps repeating.
My heart wants to say
Like Gala and Dali, it's you and me,
Forever and a day.
Forever and a day,
Always 🎶
~From "Forever and a Day," which is mine and Lily's song, which just so happens to be 3 minutes and 16 seconds long for my little girl born on 3-16. ❤️
Yesterday my mom was telling me how my niece wouldn't take a nap alone in her crib and was throwing a bit of a fit, but as soon as she picked her up and played the Jewel "Lullaby" CD, it made her fall fast asleep in her arms. 😴
This CD is sacred to me. Lily's perfect little ears knew these songs. 🎶 I got the CD while I was pregnant and some of my most treasured memories are of Lily squirming around wildly to this music. Lily's cousin obviously loves it like she did. Babies literally know music in the womb and she knew this album. This album that is symbolic of my pregnancy, and all my hopes and dreams for Lily's life, of my anticipating holding her after she was born and finally playing it for on the outside of the womb.
For a long time, I didn't want to share it with anyone. That might sound crazy, but it felt so Lily, so very precious to my heart. Then my perspective shifted and I now look at sharing these tunes as a way of sharing my girl... I have gifted multiple people with it, and everyone loves it. It touches my heart when people say that it reminds them of Lily.
I got a copy for my niece for Christmas. A few days ago, my sister-in-law was trying to get my niece to settle down for a nap while I was over, and she was going to play the CD. She asked first it that was okay. She knows what the CD means to me. I thought that was thoughtful of her. At first, I thought it would be okay... but a couple songs it, I realized it wasn't. Especially in March. I feel like I need privacy when listening to these songs because of the emotions that well up.
So back to the story from yesterday... I told my mom that I hope this album will always make her think of Lily. She said it does and it will. She told me that as she was listening to the bittersweet lullabies yesterday, she was crying so hard for her first-born granddaughter while holding her second. Remembering the little ears that knew and loved the very songs that were putting new little ears to sleep. 💤
We miss you, so, so much, Lily girl. 💕😢
Here is one of the songs from the album... I've got this one on repeat today.
I know I've shared before about how special the Jewel "Lullaby" CD is to me. My mom gave it to me when I was carrying Lily. I was filled with excitement when I thought of playing it for her once she was born, dreaming of rocking her while nursing and listening to these tunes that would cause her to drift off to sleep.
One of the most precious memories from when Lily was here was when I was driving over to a friend's house for a visit one day and had the CD turned up loud for my 30-minute drive. Lily moved so happily and wildly in my belly to this music! She loved it. Babies enjoy music in the womb and oftentimes remember it after they are born. I bet Lily would still love it to this day.
I love listening to the CD now, knowing Lily heard it with her own two perfect little ears.
My favorite song on the album, what I call mine and Lily's song, is "Forever and a Day." That song is 3 minutes and 16 seconds (3:16, like Lily's birthday). I've written about that song before. I even considered getting "Forever and a Day" on Lily's stone. I did get the phrase inscribed on a locket for her.
Anyways, another favorite of mine from the album is called "Sov Gott." It's a Swedish lullaby that Jewel wrote in the early 90s. According to her website: "The song was originally conceived during a road trip from San Francisco to Colorado when Jewel was 17. To help pass the time constructively, she decided to have her traveling companion teach her some rudimentary Swedish, starting with the alphabet and random words and phrases that interested her. When she learned several words and phrases (kiss, dolphin, wolf, sleep well and I love you for all time), she began writing a new song utilizing what she learned as the lyrics. The result was "Sov Gott," a simple fable where a dolphin has the misfortune to fall in love with a wolf."
Jewel said this about it: "The ill-fated love can never be realized by the animals from two different worlds, so each night they decide to meet at sunset, and wish each other good night and sleep well, and they kiss (OK, touch noses) at the shoreline, declaring eternal love. After they meet at sunset and touch, they also proclaim that tomorrow, "morning wakens when we kiss."
Here are the Swedish lyrics translated to English:
Sleep well, beautiful dolphin
Sweet dreams, my white wolf
We have love for each other
For each other
Forever
Sleep well, beautiful dolphin
Sweet dreams, my white wolf
We have love for each other
For each other
Forever
Sweet dreams
Sweet dreams, my white wolf
The morning wake up
Then we kiss
We kiss, kiss us,
Sweet dreams
Sleep well, forever
Sleep well, beautiful dolphin
Sweet dreams, my white wolf
We have love for each other
For each other, forever
Sweet dreams
Sweet dreams, my white wolf
The morning wake up
When we kiss,
When we kiss, forever,
When we kiss, forever
Sweet dreams
Sweet dreams
Sweet dreams
It is amazing that such simple lyrics written out of her elementary knowledge of Swedish can produce such a breathtakingly beautiful lullaby. This song, oh this song makes me ache for my Lily girl.
When I looked up the lyrics, I was struck that in a roundabout way, it describes our mother-daughter relationship. The dolphin and wolf were from two different worlds and could not be together. Lily and I are essentially in two different worlds right now, me in the temporal world, and she in the Heavenly and eternal one. We cannot be together right now either, though I long for us to be. For now, I too must declare my eternal love and tell her to "sleep well," only not forever as the song says, but rather the rest of my Earthly days. She is only asleep to this world, but always alive in Jesus. Now dolphins remind me of my girl.
Here is the song (email subscribers click here to listen).
I know I've shared before about how special the Jewel "Lullaby" CD is to me. My mom gave it to me when I was carrying Lily. I was filled with excitement when I thought of playing it for her once she was born, dreaming of rocking her while nursing and listening to these tunes that would cause her to drift off to sleep.
One of the most precious memories from when Lily was here was when I was driving over to a friend's house for a visit one day and had the CD turned up loud for my 30-minute drive. Lily moved so happily and wildly in my belly to this music! She loved it. Babies enjoy music in the womb and oftentimes remember it after they are born. I bet Lily would still love it to this day.
I love listening to the CD now, knowing Lily heard it with her own two perfect little ears.
My favorite song on the album, what I call mine and Lily's song, is "Forever and a Day." That song is 3 minutes and 16 seconds (3:16, like Lily's birthday). I've written about that song before. I even considered getting "Forever and a Day" on Lily's stone. I did get the phrase inscribed on a locket for her.
Anyways, another favorite of mine from the album is called "Sov Gott." It's a Swedish lullaby that Jewel wrote in the early 90s. According to her website: "The song was originally conceived during a road trip from San Francisco to Colorado when Jewel was 17. To help pass the time constructively, she decided to have her traveling companion teach her some rudimentary Swedish, starting with the alphabet and random words and phrases that interested her. When she learned several words and phrases (kiss, dolphin, wolf, sleep well and I love you for all time), she began writing a new song utilizing what she learned as the lyrics. The result was "Sov Gott," a simple fable where a dolphin has the misfortune to fall in love with a wolf."
Jewel said this about it: "The ill-fated love can never be realized by the animals from two different worlds, so each night they decide to meet at sunset, and wish each other good night and sleep well, and they kiss (OK, touch noses) at the shoreline, declaring eternal love. After they meet at sunset and touch, they also proclaim that tomorrow, "morning wakens when we kiss."
Here are the Swedish lyrics translated to English:
Sleep well, beautiful dolphin
Sweet dreams, my white wolf
We have love for each other
For each other
Forever
Sleep well, beautiful dolphin
Sweet dreams, my white wolf
We have love for each other
For each other
Forever
Sweet dreams
Sweet dreams, my white wolf
The morning wake up
Then we kiss
We kiss, kiss us,
Sweet dreams
Sleep well, forever
Sleep well, beautiful dolphin
Sweet dreams, my white wolf
We have love for each other
For each other, forever
Sweet dreams
Sweet dreams, my white wolf
The morning wake up
When we kiss,
When we kiss, forever,
When we kiss, forever
Sweet dreams
Sweet dreams
Sweet dreams
It is amazing that such simple lyrics written out of her elementary knowledge of Swedish can produce such a breathtakingly beautiful lullaby. This song, oh this song makes me ache for my Lily girl.
When I looked up the lyrics, I was struck that in a roundabout way, it describes our mother-daughter relationship. The dolphin and wolf were from two different worlds and could not be together. Lily and I are essentially in two different worlds right now, me in the temporal world, and she in the Heavenly and eternal one. We cannot be together right now either, though I long for us to be. For now, I too must declare my eternal love and tell her to "sleep well," only not forever as the song says, but rather the rest of my Earthly days. She is only asleep to this world, but always alive in Jesus. Now dolphins remind me of my girl.
Here is the song (email subscribers click here to listen).
There are certain songs that take my heart to such a bittersweet place... a place where I feel Lily near. The Jewel "Lullaby" CD does that for me. It came out in 2009, when I was carrying Lily. My mom gave it to me as a gift during my pregnancy. I was so excited to play it for Lily once she was born... I dreamed of rocking her while nursing, listening to these beautiful tunes as she'd drift off to sleep. The CD is truly one of the most beautiful I've ever heard. Jewel says that it is for children, but she made it with adults in mind too. The words, the music, and Jewel's singing are all so lovely...
I listened to this CD over and over again when I was pregnant. So hearing it takes me right back to that place when she was here. I can't hear it without tears coming to my eyes. Music is so powerful in how it can make you feel the way you felt when you heard that song at another time in life.
I have such a precious memory from my pregnancy that has to do with this CD. One day shortly after I got this album, I was driving over to a friend's house for a visit. She lives about 30 minutes away, so I had quite a bit of time in the car to listen to the CD. I turned it up so loud and both Lily and I were enjoying it so much. She moved around in my belly more than she ever had before when I played this music for her. She loved it. It makes me love this album even more, knowing that Lily loved it too... and that she truly did hear it during her time in the womb. Babies love hearing music in the womb and oftentimes remember it after they are born. I bet Lily would have remembered this music and that it would still be a favorite of hers to this day, and all through the years. I wish I had countless memories of playing this CD for Lily outside the womb... but I am truly so thankful for this one sweet memory of her dancing for her mommy while listening to this lovely music. Her perfect little ears heard these very songs that I am listening to right now. She was real. She loved music like her mother (and father). It gives me a sweet connection with her.
This photo was taken in November 2009, around the time I got the CD and when Lily danced around so wildly in my belly. It is my favorite photo of me pregnant.
I often will give this CD as a gift to families with children, such as for the families of kids that I nanny. For Christmas, I gave it to the two little boys I nanny and their mom recently said that she loves it and plays it on repeat. She said it makes her cry a little. (By the way, I have mentioned this before, but one of the brothers was born on March 16th, 2010 - Lily's exact birthday! I nearly fell over when his mom told me this. It makes it very special to be his nanny... what a healing gift from God!)
Anyways, the CD is hauntingly beautiful... especially because of the memories for me. For a while, I didn't really want to share this album with others because it's one of the few things in the world that is directly connected to Lily (it may sound silly, I know). But, it feels like it's her CD. It's symbolic of my short, sacred time with her. However, I have decided that sharing it with others makes me feel as if I'm sharing a piece of Lily with them. They probably wouldn't be hearing it if it weren't for me sharing it with them. And I wouldn't have heard it if it weren't for Lily.
Here's a YouTube video that has little snippets of each song from the album so you can get an idea of what it sounds like.
I enjoy all the songs on the album, but my favorite (and what I call mine and Lily's song) is #10 - "Forever and a Day." The lyrics are beautiful. After Lily passed away, we were able to bring her to Virginia in her little white coffin for her service and burial. On the trip, we played this CD. It was then that I first realized that "Forever and a Day" (our song) is 3 minutes and 16 seconds long (3:16). Lily's birthday is March 16 (3-16). How special is that...
Forever and a Day
The other day you asked me to Tell you how much I love you Oh, but words so often fail To describe the depth and scale And even though it may sound cliche I'll tell you now in my simple way
My love is as true as the oceans are blue And I'll always feel this way Just listen to the beating that keeps repeating My heart wants to say Like Gala and Dali, It's you and me Forever and a day Forever and a day Always
You watch me turn out the light Wrap my arms around you, say goodnight Trace our shadows on the wall Thank God for the miracle of it all
My love is as true as the oceans are blue And I'll always feel this way Just listen to the beating that keeps repeating My heart wants to say Like Gala and Dali, It's you and me Forever and a day Forever and a day Always
The road of life winds With the passing of time I can hear you say How can hearts know Where love will go Beyond today
Just listen to the beating that keeps repeating My heart wants to say Like Gala and Dali, Its you and me Forever and a day Forever and a day Always
I never imagined just what forever would come to mean... that the rest of my days on earth would be spent without her. Yet, my love will stretch into eternity... and it is there we will meet again. Forever.
Time keeps passing. Steadily. Surely. Six months gone by without her. I move farther and farther away from her with each day and today, that reminder is all too bitter. The six month mark has crept up on me so quickly and it's like a kick in the stomach. The little outfit my cousin got for Lily is hanging on my dresser. It says 6m. I hold it up to me and imagine her body filling it out, resting on my hip. The tears keep coming today. I'm glad I have my infant loss support group tonight. It's hard for me to look at 6 month old babies now and imagine her that size. I try so hard to picture her face and her smile, but I don't know how.
The Jewel-Lullaby album is very special to me. My mom got it for me during my pregnancy and Lily and I listened to it all the time. She would kick so much when I would play it loudly and sing to her. Listening to the CD now is so bittersweet, reminding me of the beautiful times spent with her. I couldn't wait to play it as I would have rocked her. This is my special song for her. Listening to it is a reminder of just how much I miss her. It's a reminder of just how blessed I am to be her mother. It's a reminder of how thankful I am God saved her and gave me 40 glorious weeks and 2 beautiful days with her. It's a reminder of how I will carry around her legacy and love with me always. How would she look today? What outfit would I have put her in? What would we have done to celebrate? Would she be giggling right now? Six months...in a way, I can't believe it's been that long already. Yet, it also seems like time has just dragged on and on and on. Happy half birthday, Lily girl!
The other day you asked me to
Tell you how much I love you
Oh, but words so often fail
To describe the depth and scale
And even though it may sound cliche
I'll tell you now in my simple way
My love is as true as the oceans are blue
And I'll always feel this way
Just listen to the beating that keeps repeating
My heart wants to say
Like Gala and Dali, Its you and me
Forever and a day
Forever and a day
Always
You watch me turn out the light
Wrap my arms around you, say goodnight
Trace our shadows on the wall
Thank God for the miracle of it all
My love is true as the oceans are blue
And I'll always feel this way
Just listen to the beating that keeps repeating
My heart wants to say
Like Gala and Dali, Its you and me
Forever and a day
Forever and a day
Always
The road of life winds
With the passing of time
I can hear you say
How can hearts know
Where love will go
Beyond today
Just listen to the beating that keeps repeating
My heart wants to say
Like Gala and Dali, Its you and me
Forever and a day
Forever and a day Always
