Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day 2017 💗 💙

This year for the first time since Lily's birth, I was able to be at her spot in Crozet, Virginia on Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day on October 15th for the international Wave of Light. There were a lot of things happening in Virginia over that weekend and I was glad I could be there (will share more later). It turned out to be quite the special and peaceful evening spent with my mom, Aunt Sarah, Uncle Steve, and Aunt Helen. It was actually Helen's birthday, so it meant a lot that she drove almost the hour trip to spend the evening with us.

I had this picture in my head of how I wanted it to look... I wanted multiple candles lining both stones, lighting up the darkness. Lily is buried by family... her great-great-grandparents, great-grandparents, and great-aunt. Bumma and her baby Rachel who she lost are there beside her, so I wanted to be at the place where I could be near them all. My mom found a bag of many small colorful candles at Bumma's house as she was working on cleaning there earlier in the week. So Bumma provided the lights this year! :) I got there before dark and lit the candles and it looked gorgeous with the mountains in the background.

My mom took this short video of me lighting one of the candles.

Each Fall, I like to take mini pumpkins to Lily's spot but couldn't find them anywhere... but then right before driving over to the cemetery, I made another stop to check if this particular store had them and they did!! I was able to decorate Lily's spot just the way I wanted. The bouquet of flowers were gorgeous from the Pregnancy Center Banquet (I'll share about that soon). I brought a couple things for the evening, including Lily's foot and handprint.

The cemetery was actually made cozy by the candles... never thought I'd say that. My mom usually doesn't like going to the cemetery like I do. Some people find it comforting and others don't and that's okay. She said on that evening that it was the first time there that she got a good feeling, and it was because of the warm glow of the candles. My aunt and uncle said it looked pretty as they were driving up.

It was a cool evening and thankfully there wasn't any rain. The evening was simple in that I didn't really have much planned besides the actual candle lighting. I ended up playing a song called "Lily" by Marianne Alme. It's gorgeous and reminds me of my little flower.

I then read aloud a little something I wrote about why I light my candle for the Wave of Light:

October 15th ~ Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. The International Wave of Light.

I light my candle because I treasure the sanctity of each irreplaceable, beautiful life made in the image of God.

I light my candle to say that these lives have dignity and value and they deserve to be acknowledged and remembered.

I light my candle for the little ones I've grown to love over the last 7 1/2 years in knowing their parents... way too many to even begin to name here.

I light my candle for Lily Katherine and Rachel Ross, my daughter and aunt who came into our family and were physically here for a brief time, yet they forever altered the fabric of our lives.

Most of all, I light my candle as a symbol of hope that the Light of Christ shines into the deepest darkness of grief and death and one day He will set all things right.

We stayed for the hour for the Wave of Light in our timezone. I layed on my back in the grass and gazed up at the October night sky, with sparkly stars shining brightly and beautifully.

As we were sitting there chatting, a dog appeared out of nowhere. Then a lady came running up chasing after him (there is a gas station next door to the cemetery). I had her adorable little dog in my arms to give back to her. I thought that she must be thinking we were a bunch of weirdos out there at night in a cemetery with candles lit, so I explained what the day was and what we were doing haha.

After we left the cemetery, we went to Dairy Queen for a treat. I had a pumpkin pie blizzard. :) 

The entire day was special. I went to church with my friend Jer (his dad is a pastor). Then I had lunch with their family. Then we were at Bumma's in the afternoon. The day felt peaceful and I know I will look back on memories of the day with fondness. 

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Remembrance Day Event

On October 16th, the day after Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day, and in recognition of it, I was asked to speak at a local church in my area, Penny Road Church of the Nazarene. I was so grateful for the opportunity to share my story, as I always am.

My friend Niki asked me back in August if I'd be interested in coming to share, and I said I would be honored to. Her church was gracious enough to welcome her planning this event for this special Remembrance Day. I'm so glad it worked out. This is one of the few times I've been asked to speak locally, rather than in another state. I told her when she asked me if I could share that it's easy... all I need to do is get in the car and go! haha. It was a blessing to have my family and a couple friends come too.

Niki and I have been friends on social media for the past 5 or so years, and even though we live in the same area, we'd never met in person before! Niki and I connected because we both lost our precious babies at or near their due dates. Her son Nathan is also with the Lord. It was wonderful to see her and hug her and I was touched by what she shared about our friendship. Unfortunately, I don't have any photos of Niki and I together. :( I was occupied and didn't think of it until later.

Each person who wanted to light a candle for a lost baby who they carry in their hearts was invited to do so. This was my candle for Lily that was on the table where my family and friends sat. They gave this adorable little lantern as a gift to me to take home. :) I will keep this as a memento from the evening, as well as the bulletin for the event (I keep each one from wherever I speak as a keepsake and a reminder of what God has done).

This was the area for everyone to light a candle. The Fall theme was beautiful! The ladies did an excellent job decorating. I love the Willow Trees too because I collect them myself. 

Here's the table with all the candle lit.

Lily's candle.

Candles for Lily Katherine and my Aunt Rachel Ross are in there.

Other precious babies honored and remembered.

Those are Niki's son, Nathan's, darling little feet, with his candle.

Niki had a table for me to set up to share some Lily keepsake items. I took several of my favorite things. And I myself was wearing my PAIL Awareness gear. ;)

The evening started off with people sharing praise reports and prayer requests. Then everyone was invited to enjoy some yummy food and beverages. My family liked that! ;) Everyone sang a few hymns that were selected by me. Niki was so sweet to ask if I had any in mind. I chose three that I thought suited the evening and my story - "Lily of the Valley," "I Surrender All," and "It Is Well With My Soul."

Here is the podium where I spoke, next to the table before it was decorated with Lily's things.

I then shared my story. Each time I share, I feel so at ease and this peace washes over me, knowing this is what I am called to do. God meets me at the microphone, as I've heard it said before. The speech was tailored a bit for this specific event. Someone snapped this photo of me. :)

At the end of my talk, I was able to share Lily's song with a video.

It is an honor and gift to talk with people one-on-one after sharing. When you open up your heart and share from a raw place, others who you don't even know feel like you are a safe place and that they can share their pain and rawness. That is one of my favorite parts when I speak... hearing the stories of others and entering in.

Here is part of the room with the tables for the event. The church members were warm and welcoming and it was a cozy, intimate setting.

The sign outside advertising for the event. :)

A beautiful house of the Lord.

Silly me, I forgot to share about my Lily's Legacy Comfort Boxes. So if you were at the event that evening and want to learn more, click here. :)

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PAIL Awareness Tree of Life

The Born Into Heaven Foundation came up with a beautiful project for Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month in October. They had something called the Tree of Life, where they honored babies from all over the country, with a "leaf" sharing their names, birthdays, and where they were born. The Tree was at a hospital in Alabama. It was supposed to help break the silence surrounding pregnancy and infant loss. My sweet Lily was included! :)

Here's a video that shows the entire tree and then Lily's part on the tree.

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Pregnancy & Infant Loss Remembrance Day 2014

The Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Movement began in America in October 1988 (less than a year before I was born), when President Ronald Reagan designated the month of October as Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month.

Last Wednesday, October 15th, was Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. It's a very special day for me as I remember my beautiful daughter Lily Katherine, as well as my Aunt Rachel Ross. For the second year in a row, I was with my grandmother on this day, remembering our girls together.

To recognize the day and raise awareness, I found some pink and blue nail polish the exact colors of the PAIL Awareness ribbon (on sale for $2 each at a store called Icing). I painted my, my sister's, and my grandmother's nails pink and blue. As I have gotten compliments on my nails (from friends, family, and strangers, such as a cashier at Target), it has been the perfect opportunity to raise awareness about pregnancy and infant loss. Each of our nails were done a little differently.

After we did our nails and spent time visiting earlier in the day, my grandmother, sister, and I decided to go to a place we had seen while driving around called The Cupcake Company. We were staying at Massanutten for the week. I was wanting to have a red-velvet cupcake in honor of Lily since red-velvet is my thing for her, started at my Valentine's-themed baby shower and now continued on each of her birthdays and other special days. We "just so happened" to be there on the cupcake shop's second anniversary of being open, so they had free cupcakes and other treats in celebration of the special day. One of the cupcakes they had were mini red-velvets. It felt like God was reminding me that He knew what special day it was for me and that He had both my girl and I in His care.

After the cupcake shop, we dropped my sister off to visit with one of her friends and my grandmother and I made our way to downtown Harrisonburg, Virginia. We went to a diner downtown called Jess' Quick Lunch that has been open close to 100 years. Apparently, my uncle really liked going to this diner many years ago when he was a student at JMU. As I drank my coffee and ate my grilled-cheese sandwich, we enjoyed chatting with our nice waitress. I told her about Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day and the event we were going to. We were in no hurry and took our time enjoying at the diner.

The special event was being held in Court Square, right across the street from the diner. It was a "Remembering Our Babies Walk" in recognition of PAIL Remembrance Day, hosted by The Sadie Rose Foundation.

In recognition of the special day, people worldwide were invited to light a candle at 7 p.m., letting them burn for an hour. Then just as their candles were burning out, other people in the next time zone lit their candles. This created a Wave of Light that lasted for 24 hours. Thank you to everyone who participated in this. I meant to write about it before the day, but didn't get around to it.

The event took place at 7 p.m. so for the Wave of Light, there were luminaries lighting the steps of the court house for our babies.

my grandmother and I at the special event

Lily and Rachel's luminary

We were able to write Lily and Rachel's name on the poster that the founder of The Sadie Rose Foundation carried during the walk around the square. Other people had posters as well, but I didn't bring one.

Before the walk, the names of the babies being remembered were read aloud. Here is the video of that:

Post by Hannah Rose Allen.

We then took a brief walk around Court Square to raise awareness.

After the walk, there were light refreshments and everyone was able to mingle. My grandmother and I met a couple really nice ladies. I enjoyed chatting with the founder of The Sadie Rose Foundation and hearing about what they are all about. I am so impressed with what they do, the events they hold throughout the year, and how they reach out to those who have lost a baby. I only wish I could be a part of this group!

I noticed that there were news cameras there for the event. We were told the walk would be on the local Harrisonburg news station at both 10 and 11. So, my grandmother and I went back to our unit at Massanutten and watched the news. And what do ya know, we spotted ourselves twice during the coverage! That was pretty neat. ;) You can click HERE to see the news story. My grandmother and I can be seen at seconds 0:05-0:08 and then again at the very end of the video. So glad to see the news is bringing awareness to babyloss!

Here are screenshots of us on the news.

The day turned out really lovely. I was concerned that we weren't going to be able to go to the event because it had been raining and foggy for several days and the weather forecast showed a chance of thunderstorms. But the weather was beautiful!

It was neat to be in a different city on PAIL Remembrance Day and to do something different, especially because I haven't had an event to go to for a couple years. In 2010 I went to a candelight service in Raleigh, in 2011 I was in Colorado and went to Lily Lake, in 2012 I tried to go to a candelight service in Raleigh as it was advertised, but they didn't have it after all, and in 2013 I was with family at my home where we lit candles. This is the first year since 2011 that the Raleigh, NC area where I live was going to have a service, which I was disappointed I would be missing since I was out of town. Then, I thought the event in Harrisonburg would be rained out. As it turns out however, the event in Raleigh was rained out and the event in Harrisonburg wasn't. I'm not sure where I will be next year on the day, but I hope to make it to a service or walk then!

When we got home from the event in Harrisonburg, I lit my candles for Lily, Rachel, and all other babies in Heaven.

These photos were from my friends who remembered Lily on October 15th:

Thank you, Brigette

Thank you, Naomi

Thank you, Denae

Niagara Falls was lit up pink and blue for the day! How special! :)

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My Facebook and Twitter feeds were beautiful places on October 15th, filled with so many posts remembering loved and missed babies on PAIL Remembrance Day. I hope everyone had a peaceful and special day. Yes, we are sad that our babies are not here, but even more than that, we are rejoicing that they LIVED and they will live in our hearts forever.

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