Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day 2017 💗 💙

This year for the first time since Lily's birth, I was able to be at her spot in Crozet, Virginia on Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day on October 15th for the international Wave of Light. There were a lot of things happening in Virginia over that weekend and I was glad I could be there (will share more later). It turned out to be quite the special and peaceful evening spent with my mom, Aunt Sarah, Uncle Steve, and Aunt Helen. It was actually Helen's birthday, so it meant a lot that she drove almost the hour trip to spend the evening with us.

I had this picture in my head of how I wanted it to look... I wanted multiple candles lining both stones, lighting up the darkness. Lily is buried by family... her great-great-grandparents, great-grandparents, and great-aunt. Bumma and her baby Rachel who she lost are there beside her, so I wanted to be at the place where I could be near them all. My mom found a bag of many small colorful candles at Bumma's house as she was working on cleaning there earlier in the week. So Bumma provided the lights this year! :) I got there before dark and lit the candles and it looked gorgeous with the mountains in the background.

My mom took this short video of me lighting one of the candles.

Each Fall, I like to take mini pumpkins to Lily's spot but couldn't find them anywhere... but then right before driving over to the cemetery, I made another stop to check if this particular store had them and they did!! I was able to decorate Lily's spot just the way I wanted. The bouquet of flowers were gorgeous from the Pregnancy Center Banquet (I'll share about that soon). I brought a couple things for the evening, including Lily's foot and handprint.

The cemetery was actually made cozy by the candles... never thought I'd say that. My mom usually doesn't like going to the cemetery like I do. Some people find it comforting and others don't and that's okay. She said on that evening that it was the first time there that she got a good feeling, and it was because of the warm glow of the candles. My aunt and uncle said it looked pretty as they were driving up.

It was a cool evening and thankfully there wasn't any rain. The evening was simple in that I didn't really have much planned besides the actual candle lighting. I ended up playing a song called "Lily" by Marianne Alme. It's gorgeous and reminds me of my little flower.

I then read aloud a little something I wrote about why I light my candle for the Wave of Light:

October 15th ~ Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. The International Wave of Light.

I light my candle because I treasure the sanctity of each irreplaceable, beautiful life made in the image of God.

I light my candle to say that these lives have dignity and value and they deserve to be acknowledged and remembered.

I light my candle for the little ones I've grown to love over the last 7 1/2 years in knowing their parents... way too many to even begin to name here.

I light my candle for Lily Katherine and Rachel Ross, my daughter and aunt who came into our family and were physically here for a brief time, yet they forever altered the fabric of our lives.

Most of all, I light my candle as a symbol of hope that the Light of Christ shines into the deepest darkness of grief and death and one day He will set all things right.

We stayed for the hour for the Wave of Light in our timezone. I layed on my back in the grass and gazed up at the October night sky, with sparkly stars shining brightly and beautifully.

As we were sitting there chatting, a dog appeared out of nowhere. Then a lady came running up chasing after him (there is a gas station next door to the cemetery). I had her adorable little dog in my arms to give back to her. I thought that she must be thinking we were a bunch of weirdos out there at night in a cemetery with candles lit, so I explained what the day was and what we were doing haha.

After we left the cemetery, we went to Dairy Queen for a treat. I had a pumpkin pie blizzard. :) 

The entire day was special. I went to church with my friend Jer (his dad is a pastor). Then I had lunch with their family. Then we were at Bumma's in the afternoon. The day felt peaceful and I know I will look back on memories of the day with fondness. 

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Remembrance Day Event

On October 16th, the day after Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day, and in recognition of it, I was asked to speak at a local church in my area, Penny Road Church of the Nazarene. I was so grateful for the opportunity to share my story, as I always am.

My friend Niki asked me back in August if I'd be interested in coming to share, and I said I would be honored to. Her church was gracious enough to welcome her planning this event for this special Remembrance Day. I'm so glad it worked out. This is one of the few times I've been asked to speak locally, rather than in another state. I told her when she asked me if I could share that it's easy... all I need to do is get in the car and go! haha. It was a blessing to have my family and a couple friends come too.

Niki and I have been friends on social media for the past 5 or so years, and even though we live in the same area, we'd never met in person before! Niki and I connected because we both lost our precious babies at or near their due dates. Her son Nathan is also with the Lord. It was wonderful to see her and hug her and I was touched by what she shared about our friendship. Unfortunately, I don't have any photos of Niki and I together. :( I was occupied and didn't think of it until later.

Each person who wanted to light a candle for a lost baby who they carry in their hearts was invited to do so. This was my candle for Lily that was on the table where my family and friends sat. They gave this adorable little lantern as a gift to me to take home. :) I will keep this as a memento from the evening, as well as the bulletin for the event (I keep each one from wherever I speak as a keepsake and a reminder of what God has done).

This was the area for everyone to light a candle. The Fall theme was beautiful! The ladies did an excellent job decorating. I love the Willow Trees too because I collect them myself. 

Here's the table with all the candle lit.

Lily's candle.

Candles for Lily Katherine and my Aunt Rachel Ross are in there.

Other precious babies honored and remembered.

Those are Niki's son, Nathan's, darling little feet, with his candle.

Niki had a table for me to set up to share some Lily keepsake items. I took several of my favorite things. And I myself was wearing my PAIL Awareness gear. ;)

The evening started off with people sharing praise reports and prayer requests. Then everyone was invited to enjoy some yummy food and beverages. My family liked that! ;) Everyone sang a few hymns that were selected by me. Niki was so sweet to ask if I had any in mind. I chose three that I thought suited the evening and my story - "Lily of the Valley," "I Surrender All," and "It Is Well With My Soul."

Here is the podium where I spoke, next to the table before it was decorated with Lily's things.

I then shared my story. Each time I share, I feel so at ease and this peace washes over me, knowing this is what I am called to do. God meets me at the microphone, as I've heard it said before. The speech was tailored a bit for this specific event. Someone snapped this photo of me. :)

At the end of my talk, I was able to share Lily's song with a video.

It is an honor and gift to talk with people one-on-one after sharing. When you open up your heart and share from a raw place, others who you don't even know feel like you are a safe place and that they can share their pain and rawness. That is one of my favorite parts when I speak... hearing the stories of others and entering in.

Here is part of the room with the tables for the event. The church members were warm and welcoming and it was a cozy, intimate setting.

The sign outside advertising for the event. :)

A beautiful house of the Lord.

Silly me, I forgot to share about my Lily's Legacy Comfort Boxes. So if you were at the event that evening and want to learn more, click here. :)

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PAIL Awareness Tree of Life

The Born Into Heaven Foundation came up with a beautiful project for Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month in October. They had something called the Tree of Life, where they honored babies from all over the country, with a "leaf" sharing their names, birthdays, and where they were born. The Tree was at a hospital in Alabama. It was supposed to help break the silence surrounding pregnancy and infant loss. My sweet Lily was included! :)

Here's a video that shows the entire tree and then Lily's part on the tree.

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Lily Remembered at Niagara Falls

My friend Tina wrote Lily's name at Niagara Falls on October 15th - Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. Did you know they light up the Falls in pink and blue on that day?! It's magical. I'll share a picture of it when Tina sends me one. Her family lives near there and were able to spend the day there. I hope to one day visit and go with her! 💕💙

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PAIL Remembrance Day 2016

This past weekend was one to remember.

Saturday (October 15th) was Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day - one of my favorite days on the calendar. The Lord scripted a beautiful day for me. It was one of those perfect weather kinda days spent with friends and family that you look back on and smile. :)

And Sunday, I shared my story at a local church (I will post about that soon).

To start off the day on Saturday, my brothers, sister-in-law, her friend, my niece, and I went to the North Carolina State Fair, which is only about 20 minutes from where I live. We had fun walking around and looking at what the Fair has to offer, such as the cute animals. I went by the North Carolina Right to Life booth, which I make a point to do each year, and got a new car magnet. We enjoyed riding the new ski-lift ride that takes you across the Fair grounds and is better than the Ferris Wheel because it lasts longer and takes you further (I'm too old for all the crazy upside down rides haha). I ran into several people I know, including some Bible study ladies and one of my best friends from middle school that I hadn't seen in probably 12 years.

Here's a little video from our view on the ski-lift ride.

You know how they deep fry everything at the Fair? I even saw they deep fry jello now - yuck! Well, this year I saw that they deep fry red-velvet Oreos, and since it was PAIL Awareness Day, I had to have some for my sweet Lily. If you've read my blog for a while, you know that red-velvet is a Lily thing, started at my Valentine's-themed baby shower. Let's be honest, the main reason I like going to the Fair is for all the food! And we all know calories don't count at the Fair. ;)

I joked and said my dreams came true when I met a giant kitty! hehe 

I had on my blue and pink, along with a PAIL Awareness pin, a PAIL Awareness bracelet, my Origami Owl necklace for Lily that has a PAIL Awareness charm, and my nails had PAIL Awareness ribbons on them. It made me smile when a couple people noticed my special apparel for the day. :)

Pink and blue cotton candy - the PAIL Awareness ribbon colors!

After spending several hours at the Fair, I went home and got ready to go with my mom to a special candle light service at WakeMed Hospital. I was thankful they made the effort to do something to mark the day this year, and are planning on making it an annual event.

The sky was a breathtaking blue and pink, which of course reminded me of the PAIL Awareness ribbon colors.

Quite a few families gathered in the courtyard there to honor and remember our babies together. I saw some sweet friends I hadn't seen in years. A couple other friends came to support me and remember Lily, which means more than I can say. 

Here's a little video of my candle lit during the Wave of Light at WakeMed.

I came home from the service and wanted to have another candle burning at home on that sacred night. I got out my red-velvet candle that is only lit on special occasions. Here it is with the Forget-Me-Not Willow Tree that was given to me by the staff at the hospital where Lily was born.

My social media pages were filled with Wave of Light photos, and the names and photos of precious babies who are so very missed. It brought me to tears because it is so sad and beautiful all at once. These babies are the children of my friends and I love them. They each hold a special place in my heart and I look forward with eager expectation to meeting and holding them in Heaven. What great joy awaits us there.

I want to share some of the names of the precious babies who were on my heart: my daughter Lily Katherine, my Aunt Rachel Ross, Ryleigh Grace, Lillian Judith Joy, Jensen Grey, Nathan, Azalea, Rachel Alice, Hope, Sullivan, Kayden, Riley, Noah, Bo, Cassie, Navaeh, Lucas, Solomon, Riley Grace, Ava Nicole, Tara, Brooklynn, Nicholas, Addison, Kathlyn Joy, Daisy, Amiyah, MaKenna, Liliana, Caitlyn, Marcellus, Shelby, Lillyan, Stella, Mateo, Aidan, Colby, Elias, Eva, Noah Joel, Shyla, Jakin, Aiden, Jensen, Hailey, Madison, Lincoln, Bailey, Rosie, Shae, Leo, Lola, Autumn, Faith, Grace, Thomas, Carleigh, Sparrow, Avery, and many, many others.

I was deeply touched by the messages I received from some friends, and the photos that were sent of candles lit for Lily and prayers sent up. Thank you to everyone who helped make the day memorable. Here are a couple of the photos sent to me...

From Emily

From Kala

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Lily's Pink and Blue Spot

Lily's special spot was decorated in pink and blue for Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. 💕💙 

This sweet mini garden flag was yet another find on one of my favorite places to shop - Etsy! The flag is also offered in the size of a regular garden flag. I thought the mini would look cute at Lily's spot. :)

And here's the photo my grandmother sent me of Lily's spot this month. Thank you Bumma for decorating for me and taking this beautiful picture! The pink and blue flowers are from Hobby Lobby (they always have sales and coupons!).

I love the flag, but the one thing I noticed that I will mention is the coloring of the flag in person is different than the coloring of the flag shown on Etsy. It's still lovely, but worth noting.

If you are interested in one of these garden flags, you can find them on the Manderelles Etsy page here. With each purchase of the flag, they donate a portion to a ministry called Tiny Purpose that serves mothers who have lost their precious babies.

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PAIL Remembrance Day Wave of Light

The Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Movement began in America in October 1988 (less than a year before I was born), when President Ronald Reagan designated the month of October as Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month.

Today (October 15th) is one of the most special days of the year to me - Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. To recognize this beautiful, sacred day, the worldwide Wave of Light will start at 7 p.m. Please light a candle in honor and memory of Lily Katherine and all babies of Heaven. 🌎

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