A Birthday and an Art Show

Each December, the age Lily would soon be turning weighs on my heart. Thoughts of her coming birthday and would-be age starts around the time my cousin Daniel's son, Owen, turns the same age.

You may remember me talking about them both many times through the years. Daniel and I are boy and girl cousins, born 4 months apart, and Owen and Lily are also boy and girl cousins, born 3 months apart. We both had unplanned pregnancies at the same time in our lives, unbeknownst to each other for several months. Our moms, who are sisters born 1 year apart, both wanted the name "Hannah" before either of them had girls. Well... they were pregnant at the same time, but my mom had me first so she got the name, and of course Daniel ended up being a boy anyways. Well fast forward to when Lily and Owen were in the womb, and Daniel and I both liked the name "Owen" for a boy, without realizing it! Of course Lily was a girl and was always meant to be Lily. What crazy similarities, right??

Also, Luke would have been born just a couple months before Owen... so his birthday is right in between the time both my babies either should have been born or were born.

This year, Owen is 6. This year, he is in Kindergarten and getting to be a big-kid. This year, Lily remains my baby, just like last year and next year too.

I recently shared the painting "Both of Their Hearts," by artist Elizabeth Shanahan, that was inspired by Lily and Luke. Elizabeth was an art student at Appalachian State University (she just graduated) and did her senior honors thesis on the sanctity of life.

Originally, the final product was to be "an exhibition of portraits of people of different ages, appearances, and abilities." The unborn were one part of the project.

However, Elizabeth emailed me and wrote, "My show actually ended up taking a different turn after the first critique. It became clear that babies were the ones I really wanted to focus on, rather than people as a whole, and the pieces I’m going to use for my senior show are a set of three monumental paintings, each with a tiny little figure modeled after eighteen weeks gestational age. I felt so passionately about their portrait, Lily and Luke ended up being the catalysts for an entire body of work."

When I found this out, I was deeply touched. Elizabeth invited me to her show, which fell on December 11th - Owen's 6th birthday. My mom and I were planning on and greatly wanting to go, but unfortunately I was sick that week and just wasn't able to make the trip to the mountains where the university is, which is about 3 1/2 hours from my home. It was disappointing I couldn't make it.

But the fact that it fell on Owen's birthday, on a day that painfully highlights the fact that my Lily isn't here, is special to me. You see, it reminds me that just because Lily and Luke aren't here in the same way Owen is, it doesn't mean they aren't still alive. They are of course in Heaven alive, but also God has reminded me that He's still breathing life into their legacies. And He is doing so apart from me... Even when I'm sick and hundreds of miles away, it doesn't mean He isn't using them and touching hearts because of them. He uses whatever tool He wants. Even after 6 years.

Elizabeth emailed me saying, "The show was great. We had something like 200 people attend, and I got really great reactions to my work. I also passed my thesis defense, so all is good here. :)"

I am glad to hear the show turned out well and congratulations to Elizabeth!

Since I couldn't be there in person, she was so kind as to email me the paintings and said I could share them here with you.

Combustus

Veritās

Humanitās

On another note, a gal who also attended Ellerslie and was in a different Ellerslie semester, read on my blog about the art show and lives close enough that she was interested in going. That was another reason why I wanted to go, to meet a fellow Ellerslie mate. ;) But, because she was wrapping up her semester in college, she didn't end up going anyways. But it was pretty neat that she was wanting to go. :)

Each year, Owen's mommy sends me a birthday sign in honor of Lily on her birthday. I have come to treasure this tradition of seeing Owen and Lily in a photo "together." Each year, he grows bigger and she stays the same. Just missing year 2.

Here is my favorite picture of Daniel and I because Lily was in it. :) It was taken 6 years ago in December, shortly after Owen was born and Lily was growing away.

Daniel and I when we were little... how I wish Owen and Lily were in pictures like this!

Here are Owen, Daniel, and I in the summer of 2010... it was the first time I met 6-month old Owen and would have been the first time 3-month-old Lily would have met him too.

Daniel and I visiting Lily's special spot together.

To see the painting by Elizabeth, read her artist statement for the show, and read more about it all, click HERE.

To read more posts about Owen, click HERE.

You can connect with Elizabeth and check out more of her work here:

(Instagram @elizabeth.shanahan, Twitter @shanahanpaints, and elizabethshanahan.com) 

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Both of Their Hearts

This is an update post on something I shared half a year ago - Thesis on Sanctity of Human Life.

You may remember that an art student at Appalachian State University contacted me in the spring, after reading something I wrote, about including Lily and Luke in her senior honors thesis on the sanctity of human life. We met at a coffee shop and I shared my heart and my babies with her.

This is the 18x24” portrait she created of Lily and Luke. When she sent it to me, she wrote, "I looked up the real size for a child at six weeks gestation, so little Luke is the small shape by Lily’s chest. I loved what you said about their two hearts starting and stopping their beating in the same place, so I called the piece Both of Their Hearts." Isn't that so touching and beautiful?? :'-)

When she shared it on her Instagram, she wrote something so sweet: "Easily my favorite Humanitās portrait so far. Both of Their Hearts features siblings Luke Shiloh and Lily Katherine, children of Hannah Rose, both of whom tragically died in utero. Luke and Lily, your lives had meaning and purpose, and I will continue to speak for you and children like you."

Originally, the final product was to be "an exhibition of portraits of people of different ages, appearances, and abilities." The unborn were one part of the project.

However, Elizabeth emailed me and wrote, "My show actually ended up taking a different turn after the first critique. It became clear that babies were the ones I really wanted to focus on, rather than people as a whole, and the pieces I’m going to use for my senior show are a set of three monumental paintings, each with a tiny little figure modeled after eighteen weeks gestational age. I felt so passionately about their portrait, Lily and Luke ended up being the catalysts for an entire body of work."

She ended up going large scale for the final pieces and the one of Lily and Luke would have been too small to include in the show.

I am so honored that Elizabeth wanted to include my two precious babies in this and that they inspired her. I am one proud mommy. :) Elizabeth is a gifted artist and it is a blessing to me to see her heart for the unborn.

She invited me to the show in Boone, NC in December, saying, "If you're available, I would love for you to come see the work that your sweet children inspired. Thank you for letting your babies be a part of this incredible journey."

My mom and I are hoping to make the trip (it's only a few hours) to spend a couple days in the mountains and see what Lily and Luke inspired.

Elizabeth and I when we met in May

This is Elizabeth's Artist Statement for the show that explains her heart behind it (I LOVE what she wrote!):

Humanitās

“All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others.” 

So wrote George Orwell in his political satire, Animal Farm. Those words fascinated me from the time I first read the book in the seventh grade. Since then, they have echoed in my head with every news story of murder and genocide, every history lesson about apartheid or the Holocaust, and every time one of my peers was made to feel small. It seems that Orwell hit our hubris directly on point. All the hot-button issues that we read about in headline after study after heartfelt open letter, racism, sexism, religious persecution, nationalism, ageism, ableism – all of them point to the idea that we, all of us, for one reason or another, feel that we are more human than somebody else. 

It is now commonly agreed upon that people of different colors are persons, that those of us born female instead of male are persons, that people who speak with an accent are persons. People who object to this are reviled by society, and are rightly seen as deviant, wrong, and outside the norm. What is truly disturbing is that there are still groups whose personhood is an open question. There are still people whose humanity is in contest, and people on the sides of the debate are widely respected. In fact, people on the ‘no’ side are actually renowned for the efforts towards equal rights, in complete ignorance of the humans who have been trampled in the name of that fight. 

I speak, of course, of those among us who have not yet been born. Under the banner of women’s rights, children in the womb have been degraded to the status of a disease, an inconvenience, and outright parasites. These ‘blobs of tissue’, in spite of their beating hearts, unique genetic makeup, and their capability to think, learn, and feel pain, are still widely considered to be subhuman, or at least humans of an inferior nature to born people, certainly inferior to adults and the women who carry them. 

Isn’t that a familiar cry – inferior? Haven’t we heard it before? Weren’t Romans told that Celts were inferior? Didn’t Europeans reassure one another of the inferiority of Africans? Did not the Hutus say it of the Tutsis, and the Nazis of the Jews? With a full third of my generation having been denied the right to their very lives, how can we argue that they were not the victims of genocide, like the Celts and the Africans and the Tutsis and the Jews before them? 

This series is for the little ones, who cannot speak for themselves. Using art historical reference to acts that have long been accepted as wrong (crucifixion, starvation, lynching), I am challenging the worn-out argument that this time, it’s different. Some of us cannot be more equal. All humans are persons, and it’s time to put an end to qualifying addendum's.

You can connect with Elizabeth and check out more of her work here:

(Instagram @elizabeth.shanahan, Twitter @shanahanpaints, and elizabethshanahan.com) 

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Thesis on Sanctity of Human Life

The Lord has given me the gift of mothering Lily and Luke in a unique way.

A few weeks ago, Elizabeth, an artist who is a senior at Appalachian State University in North Carolina, emailed me about her honors thesis, which is about "the sanctity and preciousness of human life and the personhood of all humans. The final product will be an exhibition of portraits of people of different ages, appearances, and abilities." She had read something online that I wrote about my story and wanted to include a portrait of Luke and Lily in her series!

She knew for years that when she finally did her thesis, she wanted to have a pro-life portrait as a part of her series, but didn't know how to get in contact with a post-abortive woman willing to share her story. That's when the Lord led her to my story. And it's perfect that we both live in North Carolina and were able to meet in person today at a coffee shop in Raleigh for an interview! It was a blessing to have a glass of iced coffee with her and share my babies, as well as hear about her artwork and project. The portrait will be based on what I shared today, as well as some photos of Lily and Luke's ultrasound image.

God is so good in how He continues to open the doors He sees fit for me to share my testimony. Lily and Luke's lives and legacies continue to make an impact. Elizabeth's series will be on display in December. It would be neat to go see it in person! As a "thank you" for participating, she will be giving me a keepsake portrait. I look forward to seeing it. Thank you for the honor of participating, Elizabeth! :)

To see Elizabeth's artist website, click HERE.

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