Wednesday, August 7, 2013

A Glimpse into August '09

Since it is now August, I have been reflecting on August 2009. I am celebrating both the month of my birth and my spiritual birthday. I oftentimes talk about how it was during the month of August that the Lord intervened in my heart and life. He fought for me, rescued me, and saved my eternal life and the life of my unborn child.

Recently, I was looking through my old Facebook posts from 2008 and 2009. It is painful to look back over the years of "Facebook activity." It is honestly very telling of someone's life. I feel somewhat embarrassed if people were to look back at the things I posted. Reading and seeing some things from the past years brought up bad feelings and memories and made me feel nauseated. How much I despise the old Hannah Rose. Seeing what I wrote and posted is a part of who I once was. A part of what God brought me out of.

It is amazing that I can even see the change in my heart and life in August 2009 from what I posted on my Facebook page. They were just Facebook statuses, but to me they are evidence of the LIFE Jesus was breathing back into my dry bones.

I can witness the change within myself, just through Facebook statuses. I mean, I know what I experienced in the depths of my heart during that time where Jesus changed everything, but to read posts that I wrote - Scriptures, quotes, and lyrics God put on my heart in the midst of that season, it's just really special. I didn't remember what I posted. It is so beautiful to see how the things I posted changed suddenly and drastically. Just a couple months before this, I posted really ridiculous things about such worldly things... then, the Lord captivated my heart. He wooed me and brought me to the foot of the Cross. And I am forever changed. I stand in awe once again at the transforming work of Christ.

This picture of me was taken on my 20th birthday - August 12th, 2009. It was three days before the scheduled abortion. There are few pictures of me during this time, so it's somewhat strange to see myself then, to know what was going on inside me, the battle that was raging. I am smiling, but I'm not smiling with my entire face, with my eyes. I was empty and broken. I had no idea all that God was doing and was going to do and how I'd look back on that season, seeing how it was a crossroads in my life. I chose the path of LIFE. I chose Jesus. Little did I know how those choices I made during that month would shape my life forever. How they would shape the story God was writing for my life and how He'd use it for my good and His glory. How He'd bring me to my passion and purpose. During that month of August '09, I went to a Pregnancy Resource Center myself. Now I have Pregnancy Center Banquets booked where I will be the keynote speaker.


I took screenshots of those statuses from August and September 2009 when the transformation occurred to share exactly what I wrote and on what dates. I really want to personally keep track of this always. It was almost as if the first half of August was where the battle for my soul and my child's life was raging. Then, God really opened my heart and drastically changed everything in a short amount of time. He can heal and redeem and restore with just a single word. These posts were when He had drawn my heart back to Himself and I was completely and utterly desperate for Jesus! I had Scripture being poured over me daily and was walking through a deep time of repentance, cleansing, and healing. 

The first post is from five days after my scheduled abortion... obviously I never went! I was so desperate for Jesus.


I was surrendering my life and future and the life and future of my unborn child to the Lord, knowing that He had a perfect plan and purpose for both of us, whether that was parenting or adoption. Nobody else knew what these posts were talking about.


He showed me that if I chose LIFE, He would take care of all the details. I knew I could trust Him. I love how Bex commented on this post. :) It was that month that our friendship began and the Lord used her so much in my life! She knew what I meant when I wrote this.


He delivered me from death and my baby from death.


This was right before I was going to tell my mom that I was pregnant and the Lord was showing His faithfulness and guidance to me in so many incredible ways!


I shared the lyrics from the song "Tears of the Saints" by Leeland. I remember listening to this powerful song over and over during this time and how I would just weep. God was giving me such a heart of compassion and love for others who were like me, prodigal sons and daughters. He had led me Home and He was longing for His other children to come Home to Him. He was showing me that through my brokenness, He would give me the ability to love and serve Him and others in a way I never would have been able to if it weren't for what I had been through and what I was going through. God can truly work all the things in our lives together for good! This is an emergency - that we would love Jesus, serve Him, and bring others to the foot of the Cross. Because we are never promised tomorrow and God doesn't want anyone to perish! In Christ, we are pure, whole, redeemed, healed! So reach out your hands to Him, even though you feel so weak and undeserving.


Click HERE to listen - this is for you, Bumma ;)


Here are the lyrics to the song:

There are many prodigal sons 
On our city streets they run 
Searching for shelter 
There are homes broken down 
People's hopes have fallen to the ground 
From failures 

This is an emergency! 

There are tears from the saints 
For the lost and unsaved 
We're crying for them come back home 
We're crying for them come back home 
And all your children will stretch out their hands 
And pick up the crippled man 
Father, we will lead them home 
Father, we will lead them home 

There are schools full of hatred 
Even churches have forsaken 
Love and mercy 
May we see this generation 
In a state of desperation 
For Your glory 

This is an emergency! 

Sinner, reach out your hands! 
Children in Christ you stand! 
Sinner, reach out your hands! 
Children in Christ you stand! 

And all Your children will stretch out their hands 
And pick up the crippled man 
Father, we will lead them home 
Father, we will lead them home

You can read more posts about August 2009 and what God did in my life during that time by clicking here.

Photobucket
This post left me:

3 comments:

  1. Love it. I Love it. This post says it all. It is amazing how someone can turn around so quickly. I can't imagine you at the person you said you were. I am so happy to hear you found God. :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. You are such an inspiration to me. Our testimonies have a lot in common and I am very grateful to our Father for introducing me to your blog. I am enjoying it very much.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I like your posts very much, they are very precious, honest and inspiring writings. In the past few years I lived a life that I don't remember with pleasure, but now I feel that I'm coming back to life, thanks to God. So, it's good to hear, to read about similar lifes and changes, because they can brace me up on my way. So keep writing, you are precious and special, and I'm happy that I found your blog. :)
    Take care!

    ReplyDelete

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...