Saturday, April 4, 2015

Purposeful Remembrance

I want to share yet another gift God has given me in Lily's life and death.

He has shown me the importance of "purposeful remembrance." Through my pain, God has given me more compassion for others in pain. He has opened the eyes of my heart to be more thoughtful and purposeful in remembering others in their pain.

I try to make a point to remember dates that are hard in a friend or family member's life, whether that be the day their baby in Heaven had been due, their child's birthday or death date, the birthday of their child who was placed for adoption, the date of a regretted abortion, etc. I want them to know they do not remember alone, even through pain that can feel so lonely. I remember and above anyone else, God remembers.

The reason I am sensitive to this is because I know how much it hurts my feelings when people don't remember Lily and I on her birthday or on days like Mother's Day. Even though I know they don't try to be hurtful in not thinking about it, they also don't try to remember. Or maybe they do and they don't know what to say.

I want to encourage you, if you have someone in your life who has lost a child, a spouse, a sibling, a grandchild, or anybody else, remember them on the hard days that others might not remember. Even if you don't know what to say, trust me that it's more about saying something rather than nothing. How about, "I'm thinking of you and what this day means to you," "I'm remembering with you," "I'm praying for you," "You're on my heart," or a hundred other things. Just a few words of loving remembrance over complete silence can go a long way. Maybe send an email or a handwritten card. Also, I'm sure there are other days that I am not mentioning here that are specific to your loved one that you could remember.

I want to start putting significant dates in my planner so I can remember even more. Sometimes the date passes me by and I'm not able to say something to someone until days or weeks later. Of course that is better than nothing, but I want to be more prompt.

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