Saturday, July 11, 2015

The Grace to See and Express

Sometimes I can go weeks between publishing blog posts, which is more time between posts than I'd like. In the past several weeks, I believe God had a lesson to teach me in this "silence" when I felt like I wanted to share, but couldn't find the words. It was a strange place to be in because writing is my therapy and I seem to never run out of things to say about my love for Lily (and Luke).

The lack of words showed me that when the words do spring forth, it is only because God gives me what He wants me to share. I don't have the ability to express myself in an articulate way in and of myself. It is only through God's grace. If He wants me to share, He stirs it within me, then gives me the desire and the ability to write what's on my heart. If I'm not meant to share, there's nothing that comes. I take for granted at times that it'll always be there, but that's not true.

He literally provides everything we need in this life. Not only is it He who gives me ability to express what He's doing in my life and what He's teaching me, but it is also only Him who opens my eyes in the first place to the beauty of the story He is writing. I only see through eyes of grace because of Him. If it weren't for Him revealing the depth of the profound and breathtaking beauty of Lily and Luke's legacies, I truly think I would be drowning in the sorrow of this story, rather than choosing to focus on the beauty that has risen in the midst of the ashes.

As I have said many times before, yes, my story is sad, but it is so much more than that. I want people who hear it to walk away pondering on the goodness of God and His power to redeem and restore even the most broken among us. 

So when I share post after post on what God is showing me and how He is using my precious babies in Heaven for my good and His glory, I want to always remember that it is He who provides those words for me to use and He who even provided me with the gift of seeing a glimpse of the marvelous tapestry He is weaving.


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