Capture Your Grief 2013-Day 24

CAPTURE YOUR GRIEF 2013 Photography Project 

for October-Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month

Day 24: Artwork

October 24, 2013 ♥

Day 24. Artwork: Have you created a piece of artwork in the wake of your baby’s death? Or maybe someone has given you some artwork to honor your baby? Please feel welcome to share links to your own website or to other artists.

I have many pieces of beautiful artwork that have been created for me in honor of Lily. 

For this project, I want to share the piece that is most meaningful to me. It is one of my most treasured keepsakes, all the way from New Zealand. Chloé from Eternal Hope Memorial Portraits drew this portrait of Lily free of charge. She does this as a ministry to babyloss parents, in honor of her baby daughter, Hope. The roses and lilies symbolize my daughter and I (Hannah ROSE and LILY Katherine). The blanket and hat are what she wore in the hospital. Her face looks EXACTLY like it does in my favorite photo of her. I am amazed at Chloé's talent and generosity. I have this portrait framed and hanging on my memorial collage wall. You can read more about Lily's portrait on my blog HERE.

Some of my other favorite artists where I've gotten memorial artwork are Beyond Words Designs, The Midnight Orange, Epiphany Art Studio, Tiny Dream Shop, and of course CarlyMarie.

There is other special artwork that people have specifically made for me not shared here.

-To see all of my photos from the photography project click HERE.

-To share your own photos on the event page and to see the lovely photos others are sharing click HERE.

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Capture Your Grief 2013-Day 23

CAPTURE YOUR GRIEF 2013 Photography Project 

for October-Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month

Day 23: Jewelry

October 23, 2013 ♥

Day 23. Jewelry: Do you have a piece of jewelry in memory of your baby? 

I have many memorial pieces of jewelry in honor of Lily. My favorite piece is a necklace with Lily's actual footprints engraved from My Forever Child. 

For this project, I decided to share my piece of jewelry from the amazing organization called Held Your Whole Life. Asher's mommy makes free necklaces in honor of babies lost through miscarriage and stillbirth. There are so many amazing organizations and ministries in the babyloss community!

-To see all of my photos from the photography project click HERE.

-To share your own photos on the event page and to see the lovely photos others are sharing click HERE.

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Capture Your Grief 2013-Day 22

CAPTURE YOUR GRIEF 2013 Photography Project 

for October-Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month

Day 22: Words

October 22, 2013 ♥

Day 22. Words: Share your favorite quote, poem, song lyrics, Scripture that you have found.

My mom wrote this beautiful poem about her "granddarling" Lily Katherine for Valentine's Day 2011 and gave it to me as a gift. I treasure it and want to do something special with it.

-To see all of my photos from the photography project click HERE.

-To share your own photos on the event page and to see the lovely photos others are sharing click HERE.

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Capture Your Grief 2013-Day 21

CAPTURE YOUR GRIEF 2013 Photography Project 

for October-Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month

Day 21: Time

October 21, 2013 ♥

Day 21. Honor: Is there anything that you have done to honor your baby since they died? Did you give back to the community? Make a conscious decision to live as beautifully as possible? Take on the role of helping others in your situation? Maybe you work as an advocate for breaking the silence for our community.

I desire to honor Lily and glorify the Lord with how I live my life. I am passionate about ministering to others who also know the pain of losing a baby.

I'm a writer and speaker. I write articles for many different websites and am in the beginning stages of writing a book. I offer support, encouragement, resources, and ideas to celebrate and honor children of Heaven on my blog and on my Lily's Legacy Facebook page. I hope to start a special remembrance event for Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day in Raleigh, North Carolina (where I live) in the years to come. I also donate hospital comfort boxes to be given to those who do not get to take their babies home with them.

I desire to break the silence around babyloss. I desire to show others through Lily's life and legacy how God values each individual life. I desire to share with others the comfort and peace Christ has given me in my loss. 

-To see all of my photos from the photography project click HERE.

-To share your own photos on the event page and to see the lovely photos others are sharing click HERE.

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Capture Your Grief 2013-Day 20

CAPTURE YOUR GRIEF 2013 Photography Project 

for October-Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month

Day 20: Hope

October 20, 2013 ♥

Day 20. Hope: Do you have hope for the future? What do you hope for those who will join this club in the future.

I have the hope of forever in Heaven with Lily.

I have hope of getting married and having more children to raise on earth. Even if I don't, I am and will always be a mother. And I know God has a plan for my life and He holds the world in His hands.

My hope for those who will join the world of babyloss in the future is that they won't feel alone. They will know others have gone before them and have made it. That is part of why I "grieve out loud." I hope they will know the hope I've found in Christ.

-To see all of my photos from the photography project click HERE.

-To share your own photos on the event page and to see the lovely photos others are sharing click HERE.

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Capture Your Grief 2013-Day 19

CAPTURE YOUR GRIEF 2013 Photography Project 

for October-Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month

Day 19: Support

October 19, 2013 ♥

Day 19. Support: Share about what has been the best support for you since the loss of your baby. Maybe it is a special friend or family member? A pet? An organization? What have they done for you? Where would you be without them?

My mom has been there for me and has grieved with me every step of the way. She is my biggest support. 

For this project, I thought I'd share my kitty, Pumpkin Muffie. I am a big cat-lover and really longed for a cat after losing Lily. Unfortunately, for different reasons I was unable to get one until two and a half years later. My cat has been so comforting to my heart. Just to have a pet to hold after feeling the ache of empty arms, even a couple years later has been very healing. I greatly encourage other animal lovers to get an animal (if you don't already have one) after losing a baby.

-To see all of my photos from the photography project click HERE.

-To share your own photos on the event page and to see the lovely photos others are sharing click HERE.

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Capture Your Grief 2013-Day 18

CAPTURE YOUR GRIEF 2013 Photography Project 

for October-Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month

Day 18: Release

October 18, 2013 ♥

18. Release: What do you want to let go of on this journey of grief? Is it fear? Guilt? Worry? Deep sadness? Regrets?

What I want to let go of on my journey of grief are my regrets... regrets over not getting Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep while at the hospital with Lily. Regrets over not getting professional maternity photos. Regrets of not getting a 3D ultrasound while I was in my third trimester of pregnancy. Regrets over not gathering more keepsakes and truly cherishing every second of my pregnancy, rather than wishing away the time, wanting Lily to be born. Little did I know that was the only time on earth I would have with her. It's hard living with those regrets... but I am thankful that Lily has taught me so many things in her short time here. 

-To see all of my photos from the photography project click HERE.

-To share your own photos on the event page and to see the lovely photos others are sharing click HERE.

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Capture Your Grief 2013-Day 17

CAPTURE YOUR GRIEF 2013 Photography Project 

for October-Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month

Day 17: Time

October 17, 2013 ♥

Day 17. Time: How long has it been since your baby died.

Three years. Seven months. One day.... of missing my girl every moment. Of grief. Of love. Of learning what it means to mother my daughter of Heaven.

-To see all of my photos from the photography project click HERE.

-To share your own photos on the event page and to see the lovely photos others are sharing click HERE.

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Capture Your Grief 2013-Day 16

CAPTURE YOUR GRIEF 2013 Photography Project 

for October-Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month

Day 16: Seasons

October 16, 2013 ♥

Day 16. Seasons: Share what certain seasons or holidays mean to you now. What season did your baby die in? What season were they conceived/born in? Etc. Do you dread those seasons now? Are they more meaningful to you because of your baby?

I have noticed that the season of my grief often coincides with the actual seasons. Every season, in some way, reminds me of my girl and makes me miss her in a different way. 

Summer is the time of year when Lily's life within me first began. I am reminded of all the memories and emotions associated with that. 

Autumn reminds me of my pregnancy, ultrasounds, and my belly growing.

Winter reminds me of the time when I was getting closer to finally meeting Lily.

And spring is the season that is most bittersweet. Lily was born just days before the genesis of spring. March 16, 2010. The flowers were blooming and the sun was growing warmer on my skin. New life. Lily was to be a new life. Spring and Lily, they came together. It felt wrong when the seasons kept changing, though my little girl was gone. It felt as if the entire world should have stopped.

Holidays throughout the year are also bittersweet, as I am always reminded of the family member who is missing. Christmas, my birthday, her birthday, Easter, Mother's Day, Thanksgiving... with each year of passing holidays, more time separates me from her. Lily was born the day before St. Patrick's Day, so that especially reminds me of her... and Valentine's Day because I had a Valentine's-themed baby shower.

So many things remind me of Lily all year round. Yes, it can be bittersweet. But the more time that passes, it's less bitter and more sweet.

My little one, my dear one, my love,

you will be with me forever:

in the thin sunlight and long shadows

of a clear winter's day;

in the dawn excitement of birds

sounding in early spring;

in the rustle of heavy-leafed trees

in a mid-summer's night;

in the rich aromas and bright colors

of a warm autumn day.

All that is excellent,

brushed by Life's

brightness and shadow,

will remind me of you,

My little one, my dear one, my love.

You will beat with my heart,

see through my eyes,

hear with my ears,

feel on my skin.

Because your soul is mingled with my soul, forever,

My little one, my dear one, my love.

~Edward Searl

-To see all of my photos from the photography project click HERE.

-To share your own photos on the event page and to see the lovely photos others are sharing click HERE.

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Capture Your Grief 2013-Day 15

CAPTURE YOUR GRIEF 2013 Photography Project 

for October-Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month

Day 15: Wave of Light
Pregnancy & Infant Loss Remembrance Day
Raleigh, NC, USA

October 15, 2013 ♥

Day 15. Wave Of Light: Today is October 15th Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. Light a candle at 7pm to help create a continuous wave of light around the world for 24 hours. Photograph your light! Please remember to share your location for this day as well. 

October 15th is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. To recognize this beautiful, sacred day, people worldwide light candles at 7 P.M., letting them burn for an hour. Then just as their candles are burning out, other people in the next time zone light their candles. This creates a Wave of Light that lasts for 24 hours. 

My mom, brothers, sister-in-law, grandmother and I lit candles for my daughter Lily Katherine, my Aunt Rachel Ross, as well as other specific loved and missed babies. And then I lit the last candle for all babies in Heaven with parents around the world missing them. We sat on the porch in the beautiful chilly October evening with our pumpkin-spice coffee, and just soaked up the moment. It was perfect. I just wanted a relaxing, peaceful night of remembrance and this turned out to be just that. Only the bright light of the candles was shining in the dark... which reminded me of how dark grief and loss can feel, yet the love and joy that has come from these precious lives (no matter how brief) lights up any darkness. God's love pierced the darkness in my heart with the light of Lily's beautiful LIFE.

I hope everyone had a peaceful day of remembrance and that you found the Wave of Light to be as magical as I did. It was so beautiful scrolling through my Facebook news feed and seeing so many posts and pictures of/about the Wave of Light and Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. It warmed my heart and reminded me that I'm not the only one who knows this grief... or this profound love.

Click HERE to watch a little video I took of the candles burning.

-To see all of my photos from the photography project click HERE.

-To share your own photos on the event page and to see the lovely photos others are sharing click HERE.

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Capture Your Grief 2013-Day 14

CAPTURE YOUR GRIEF 2013 Photography Project 

for October-Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month

Day 14: Family

October 14, 2013 ♥

Day 14. Family: What does you family look like now? Is it just yourself carrying your child’s heart in yours? Do you have other children? A partner? A pet? You may not have what society perceives as a family but we all know that just because you cannot see any children, that does not mean that they are not a part of your family.

I am blessed with loving parents, twin older brothers, and a little sister. They are my family. 

For this project, I decided to use this photo of a painting I got from Tiny Dream Shop. I saw it and right away knew I wanted it. It symbolizes myself and my two babies of Heaven. Butterflies symbolize new LIFE and they are very special to me, so the blue butterfly is for Luke and the pink butterfly is for Lily. They flutter about in my heart and life always.

-To see all of my photos from the photography project click HERE.

-To share your own photos on the event page and to see the lovely photos others are sharing click HERE.

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Capture Your Grief 2013-Day 13

CAPTURE YOUR GRIEF 2013 Photography Project 

for October-Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month

Day 13: Book

October 13, 2013 ♥

Day 13. Book: Have you read a book about grief that helped you immensely in your journey of grief? Please feel welcome to share the book and links to where it can be purchased so others can find it.

A book that I really like is "I Will Carry You" by Angie Smith. It is about the loss of her baby daughter, so I relate to a lot of her feelings. I enjoy her writing style and how she points back to the Lord always. I recommend this book for both those who've lost a child, as well as those who haven't. This book came out around Mother's Day 2010, just a couple months after I had Lily, so I read it at a really raw time in my life. I played the song that has the same title of this book, sung by Selah (Angie Smith's husband is in Selah) at Lily's Celebration of LIFE Service. It is one of my favorite songs of all time. 

Here is the song with a slideshow I put together:

You can purchase this book HERE.

-To see all of my photos from the photography project click HERE.

-To share your own photos on the event page and to see the lovely photos others are sharing click HERE.

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Capture Your Grief 2013-Day 12

CAPTURE YOUR GRIEF 2013 Photography Project 

for October-Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month

Day 12: Article

October 12, 2013 ♥

Day 12. Article: Have you read an article about grief that you would love to share with everyone? Maybe it is something from Still Standing Magazine or a blog post from your favorite blogger or writer. Please feel welcome to share who wrote the article and how the article resonated with you and also the direct link to the article if it is online.

This letter written by John Piper to a grieving mother who had a stillborn son has deeply impacted me. It so beautifully articulates so many things I've thought and felt about grief, love, and loss.

Here's a part of the letter that resonated with me:

"And amputation is a good analogy. Because unlike a bullet wound, when the amputation heals, the arm is still gone. So the hurt of grief is different from the hurt of other wounds. There is the pain of the severing, and then the relentless pain of the gone-ness. The countless might-have-beens. Those too hurt. Each new remembered one is a new blow on the tender place where the arm was. So grieving is like and unlike other pain."

This part too:

"But there is another way God is honored in our grieving. When we taste the loss so deeply because we loved so deeply and treasured God’s gift — and God in his gift — so passionately that the loss cuts the deeper and the longer, and yet in and through the depths and the lengths of sorrow we never let go of God, and feel him never letting go of us — in that longer sorrow he is also greatly honored, because the length of it reveals the magnitude of our sense of loss for which we do not forsake God. At every moment of the lengthening grief, we turn to him not away from him. And therefore the length of it is a way of showing him to be ever-present, enduringly sufficient."

Read the entire article HERE.

-To see all of my photos from the photography project click HERE.

-To share your own photos on the event page and to see the lovely photos others are sharing click HERE.

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Capture Your Grief 2013-Day 11

CAPTURE YOUR GRIEF 2013 Photography Project 

for October-Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month

Day 11: Emotional Triggers

October 11, 2013 ♥

Day 11. Emotional Triggers: What triggers emotions associated with grief for you? Is it the weather? A scent? Photos? Places? Holidays? Words? Certain people?

What is a "trigger?" It's a moment, sight, sound, smell, taste, etc. that can bring the grief of losing a baby to the surface. 

For me, it is difficult to see pregnant women and new babies. It is also hard to see little children around the age Lily would be today. The month of March is a trigger for me because that is the time of year my daughter was born and died and the month of her Celebration of LIFE service and burial. Memories of my pregnancy can be triggers. The hardest triggers are the everyday moments where the weight of Lily's absence feels the heaviest. On holidays and special days of celebration, such as weddings. Should-have-been milestones that will never be reached are very hard.

-To see all of my photos from the photography project click HERE.

-To share your own photos on the event page and to see the lovely photos others are sharing click HERE.

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Capture Your Grief 2013-Day 10

CAPTURE YOUR GRIEF 2013 Photography Project 

for October-Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month

Day 10: Beliefs

October 10, 2013 ♥

Day 10. Beliefs: Do you have a certain belief about what happens to us after we die?

I believe in LIFE... I know that my Lily went straight from my womb to the arms of her loving Heavenly Father. I have the hope and assurance that I will see and hold her again on streets of gold. Butterflies are very special and symbolic to me because they symbolize new LIFE. My new LIFE in Christ. And it is because of Christ's sacrifice that Lily has eternal LIFE with Him. He brought new LIFE in me through her precious LIFE. I will life forever with her and Him. Thank You Jesus...

-To see all of my photos from the photography project click HERE.

-To share your own photos on the event page and to see the lovely photos others are sharing click HERE.

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