Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Capture Your Grief 2013-Day 16

CAPTURE YOUR GRIEF 2013 Photography Project 
Day 16: Seasons
October 16, 2013 ♥

Day 16. Seasons: Share what certain seasons or holidays mean to you now. What season did your baby die in? What season were they conceived/born in? Etc. Do you dread those seasons now? Are they more meaningful to you because of your baby?

I have noticed that the season of my grief often coincides with the actual seasons. Every season, in some way, reminds me of my girl and makes me miss her in a different way. 

Summer is the time of year when Lily's life within me first began. I am reminded of all the memories and emotions associated with that. 

Autumn reminds me of my pregnancy, ultrasounds, and my belly growing.

Winter reminds me of the time when I was getting closer to finally meeting Lily.

And spring is the season that is most bittersweet. Lily was born just days before the genesis of spring. March 16, 2010. The flowers were blooming and the sun was growing warmer on my skin. New life. Lily was to be a new life. Spring and Lily, they came together. It felt wrong when the seasons kept changing, though my little girl was gone. It felt as if the entire world should have stopped.

Holidays throughout the year are also bittersweet, as I am always reminded of the family member who is missing. Christmas, my birthday, her birthday, Easter, Mother's Day, Thanksgiving... with each year of passing holidays, more time separates me from her. Lily was born the day before St. Patrick's Day, so that especially reminds me of her... and Valentine's Day because I had a Valentine's-themed baby shower.

So many things remind me of Lily all year round. Yes, it can be bittersweet. But the more time that passes, it's less bitter and more sweet.

My little one, my dear one, my love,
you will be with me forever:
in the thin sunlight and long shadows
of a clear winter's day;
in the dawn excitement of birds
sounding in early spring;
in the rustle of heavy-leafed trees
in a mid-summer's night;
in the rich aromas and bright colors
of a warm autumn day.
All that is excellent,
brushed by Life's
brightness and shadow,
will remind me of you,
My little one, my dear one, my love.
You will beat with my heart,
see through my eyes,
hear with my ears,
feel on my skin.
Because your soul is mingled with my soul, forever,
My little one, my dear one, my love.
~Edward Searl

-To see all of my photos from the photography project click HERE.
-To share your own photos on the event page and to see the lovely photos others are sharing click HERE.


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