Friday, May 28, 2010

I will follow, Lord

I smile in the face of sorrow.
I dance in the ruin.
I have unspeakable joy on this journey of grief.
Inexplicable peace in the chaos.

How? I've had a taste of what is truly divine. And I'm left longing for more. My Jesus is merely a crutch to get me through the pain, you say? No. There is no strength in me. There is no joy. I've come face to face with the wretched condition of this soul. I've seen the complete lack of peace, lack of joy, lack of anything good in me.

I've also seen what's awaiting me in a life fully surrendered to Him. I've seen the supernatural conquering power that He brings. The storms are raging around me, yet I stand firm. I know I'm in His palm.

I'm afraid Lord, I'm afraid. I'm weak, Lord, I'm weak. I'm broken, Lord, I'm broken.

Breathing deeply, I collapse. But, this is where I'm meant to fall...Into his strong arms. I sigh and I fall where I belong. He's been waiting for me to realize my weakness. This weakness that makes me surrender to His strength. It matters not where He leads, for I will follow wherever He goes. Through the darkness, through the pain, through the sorrow, through the laughter, and the tears. If it makes me more like my Jesus, then I welcome whatever comes. And all the while, I will have His radiant, consuming joy in my heart. I will sing praises to Him, the Most High God. I will worship Him with my life. I will wear a beaming smile on my face because I know He is for me. So who can be against me?

"I am no longer anxious about anything as I realize that He is able to carry out His will, and His will is mine. It makes no matter where He places me, or how. That is for Him to consider rather than me; for in the easiest positions He will give me His grace, and in the most difficult His grace is sufficient." ~Hudson Taylor


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This post left me:

6 comments:

  1. Beautiful...I don't even need to elaborate...

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  2. Such beautiful words. I am reminded of the song by Selah, Beautiful, Terrible Cross. You have a beautiful, terrible story. Beautiful because Lily is beautiful...because she is perfect and in a place of such peace and rest. Terrible because we are human and have to deal with human emotions, longings, and grief. Prayers and hugs!

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  3. your posts are always so beautiful. XO

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  4. what an amazing post *hug*

    love and prayers
    elena

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  5. you KNOW i love this <3 i find myself longing for time to spend with God that brings thoughts and feelings like the ones worded so delicately in this post. but lately have been unable to find it. there's no excuse though because I need to find it and Him everyday. I LOVED this post, and it is truly giving me a longing to just spend time with Him.

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