Friday, June 30, 2017

When You Lose a Baby

When you lose a baby, you don't just lose an idea of a person or a potential possibility of a future.

You lose a very real would-have-been life and future, full of all the many small and large things that comprise a life.

You lose knowing what their hobbies and interests would be, the things that would make them laugh, what college they would have attended, who they would have married, who their children would have been... these things just scratch the surface.

The person who is lost before birth is the same person at the core of their being who would've been in 5, 10, 20, 50+ years. All that was needed was time, development, nurturing, and love.

Of course we as humans are shaped by our experiences too, yet a massive part of who we are is determined and crafted by our Creator before we are even born.

The way we will look as we age is already determined, our personalities, the things we will enjoy and prefer... all of these things are wrapped up in the tiny precious package that is a newborn baby.

When this precious life is lost, it's not just an idea that is lost, but the package that was ready to be opened, that suddenly never will be. The contents that were already there are somehow lost, leaving the family with an empty feeling of being somehow gipped and deprived. This package was in your lap ready to be finally opened after shaking it and longing to discover it for 9 months in eager anticipation, then suddenly death steals it back. That's a little bit of what losing a baby feels like.

It was a gift the Lord gave me when He opened up my heart to love Lily as much as I do. And because of how much I love her, I miss her with that same great measure. The grief, in turn, is also a gift, for even that points to the sanctity of her life and each life, no matter how brief. 💕



  1. We lost our daughters...right, Hannah? They were flesh and blood...who lived and moved...whom we held within the depths of our near our hearts. As the months went by and as we changed with our growing children, so did our anticipation of meeting them outside of our womb. The husband of someone I know asked his wife why we would have a funeral!! Too many people truly do not understand and they lessen and cheapen our loss because our child died before birth. It is added agony to something that is already so unreal.

    1. Yes, yes, yes!! Your comments always resonate so deeply with me. It truly does add to the agony when others cheapen and lessen our loss. Love you and Lilly <3


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