Spud Day

Lily Katherine was due on March 14th, 2010 (National Potato Chip Day), so one of her nicknames is "Spud." 😌 ❤️ 

Ironically, the food I ate nonstop during my pregnancy were hash browns (I like to think God has a funny sense of humor). I craved them daily and enjoyed them homemade, as well as at all different restaurants. It's only appropriate that we've made eating them a tradition each year on this day, in honor of our little Spud. My favorite way to eat them is with some soft and some crispy. And with ketchup. Delicious!

My friend Naomi wrote Lily's name and nickname in a potato field on Prince Edward Island in the Summer of 2014 because she remembered what it means to me. Wasn't that so cute and thoughtful?

Though Lily was not born on March 14th, it was the day she was due, the date I associated with her my entire pregnancy. I shared that date when people asked how far along I was. So naturally, I still think of her on this date. I thought it sounded like such a pretty day to be due. I always liked even numbers better than odd.

I love having special days/memories/cute stories like this to share with others...because the fact is, I hardly got to make any memories at all with my first-born babe. And things like this remind me that she was real! She was truly here. March helps remind me and others around me that I didn't just lose an idea of a person, but a real, living, important, special someone...my precious daughter.

I know due dates mean different things for people who have lost babies. For me, the due date is a special, happy memory because I was still carrying Lily and was oblivious to the fact that she was already gone.

My family now calls this day "Spud Day." :) And my friend Christine called Lily a tater tot, which is adorable!

Look at this sweet 0-3 month baby shirt that my "little" cousin Anna made me for Lily when I was pregnant. It's now in Lily's memory chest. Her initials are on the front. :)

If you like hash browns, today is a great day to eat them in honor of little Lily. I'd love to know if you do. ♥ 

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Spud Day

Lily Katherine was due 7 years ago today on March 14th, 2010 (National Potato Chip Day), so one of her nicknames is "Spud." 😌 ❤️ 

Ironically, the food I ate nonstop during my pregnancy were hash browns (I like to think God has a funny sense of humor). I craved them daily and enjoyed them homemade, as well as at all different restaurants. It's only appropriate that we've made eating them a tradition each year on this day, in honor of our little Spud. My favorite way to eat them is with some soft and some crispy. And with ketchup. Delicious!

My friend Naomi wrote Lily's name and nickname in a potato field on Prince Edward Island in the Summer of 2014 because she remembered what it means to me. Wasn't that so cute and thoughtful?

Though Lily was not born on March 14th, it was the day she was due, the date I associated with her my entire pregnancy. I shared that date when people asked how far along I was. So naturally, I still think of her on this date. I thought it sounded like such a pretty day to be due. I always liked even numbers better than odd.

I love having special days/memories/cute stories like this to share with others...because the fact is, I hardly got to make any memories at all with my first-born babe. And things like this remind me that she was real! She was truly here. March helps remind me and others around me that I didn't just lose an idea of a person, but a real, living, important, special someone...my precious daughter.

I know due dates mean different things for people who have lost babies. For me, the due date is a special, happy memory because I was still carrying Lily and was oblivious to the fact that she was already gone.

Last year, my brother Joseph called today "Spud Day." That's what I call it now. And my friend Christine called Lily a tater tot, which is adorable!

If you like hash browns, today is a great day to eat them in honor of little Lily. ♥ 

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Spud Day

Lily Katherine was due 6 years ago today on March 14th, 2010 (National Potato Chip Day), so one of her nicknames is "Spud." :)

Ironically, the food I ate nonstop during my pregnancy were hash browns (I like to think God has a funny sense of humor). I craved them daily and enjoyed them homemade, as well as at all different restaurants. It's only appropriate that we've made eating them a tradition each year on this day, in honor of our little Spud. My favorite way to eat them is with some soft and some crispy. And with ketchup. Delicious!

My friend Naomi wrote Lily's name and nickname in a potato field on Prince Edward Island a couple summers ago because she remembered what it means to me. Wasn't that so cute and thoughtful?

Though Lily was not born on March 14th, it was the day she was due, the date I associated with her my entire pregnancy. I shared that date when people asked how far along I was. So naturally, I still think of her on this date. I thought it sounded like such a pretty day to be due. I always liked even numbers better than odd.

I love having special days/memories/cute stories like this to share with others...because the fact is, I hardly got to make any memories at all with my first-born babe. And things like this remind me that she was real! She was truly here. March helps remind me and others around me that I didn't just lose an idea of a person, but a real, living, important, special someone...my precious daughter.

I know due dates mean different things for people who have lost babies. For me, the due date is a special, happy memory because I was still carrying Lily and was oblivious to the fact that she was already gone. Due dates are probably more painful for those who lost their babies early in pregnancy because they should have been pregnant up until that time and due dates are a reminder of what could have been.

If you like hash browns, today is a great day to eat them in honor of little Lily. ♥ 

My sister-in-law Kala made breakfast for dinner with (delicious) hash browns for she, my brothers, and I. Joseph said we were celebrating "Spud Day." I like that and want to start calling it that. :)

A gal named Vanessa who is in one of the stillbirth online support groups I'm in sent me this picture and wrote, "Sleep in peace beautiful Lily Spud."

Someone who follows along with Lily's story on my Facebook page sent me this picture and wrote, "Hi, been thinking of you, your family and dear Lily today. As you said you had a special love for potatoes during the pregnancy, and today is National Potato Day, so I wrote her name in our potatoes tonight in her honor. 6 toothpicks to double as "candles."

My mom is visiting one of her best friends in Maryland, who I call "Aunt G." Grace wrote, "We had gourmet mashes potatoes for supper. We rarely eat spuds here, but due to having company and Lily's birthday, we had spuds."

My friend Heather wrote and said they had potato and ground beef casserole.

Thanks to everyone who had spuds today for my lil Spud, both those who mentioned it and those who didn't. It's cool to know people around the world were eating them and thinking of her. And I like seeing the different kinds of spuds people enjoyed. :)

My friend Christine called Lily a tater tot, which I thought was adorable.

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Our Little Spud - the Anniversary of Lily's Due Date

Lily Katherine was due 5 years ago today on March 14, 2010 (National Potato Chip Day), so one of her nicknames is "Spud." :)

Ironically, the food I ate nonstop during my pregnancy were hash browns (I like to think God has a funny sense of humor). I craved them daily and enjoyed them homemade, as well as at all different restaurants. It's only appropriate that we've made eating them a tradition each year on this day, in honor of our little Spud. My favorite way to eat them is with some soft and some crispy. And with ketchup. Delicious!

My friend Naomi wrote Lily's name and nickname in a potato field on Prince Edward Island last summer because she remembered what it means to me. Wasn't that so cute and thoughtful?

Though Lily was not born on March 14, it was the day she was due, the date I associated with her my entire pregnancy. I shared that date when people asked how far along I was. So naturally, I still think of her on this date. I thought it sounded like such a pretty day to be due. I always liked even numbers better than odd.

I love having special days/memories/cute stories like this to share with others...because the fact is, I hardly got to make any memories at all with my first-born babe. And things like this remind me that she was real! She was truly here. That may sound confusing to some, but to me March just helps remind me and others around me that I didn't just lose an idea of a person, but a real, living, important, special someone...my precious daughter.

I know due dates mean different things for people who have lost babies. For me, the due date is a special, happy memory because I was still carrying Lily and was oblivious to the fact that she was already gone. Due dates are probably more painful for those who lost their babies early in pregnancy because they should have been pregnant up until that time and due dates are a reminder of what could have been. Lily's birthday is a reminder to me of what could have been...

If you like hash browns, today is a great day to eat them in honor of little Lily. ♥ Thank you to everyone who already said they are going to. It's so special to think of people around the world making hash browns with my Lily girl in their thoughts.

my family's delicious brunch today in honor of our lil' Spud

My friend Jaime shared this photo with me today and wrote, "Sweet lovin' to you and your Spud, Lily Katherine, today and always. xo"

Just two days away from Lily's 5th birthday...

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Disappointed

As I mentioned earlier, tonight we had a special party with our neighbors, which I was really excited about and looking forward to. Over the last year, we've gotten really close with them. It turns out, "J's" daughter shares a birthday with Lily - March 16th. "A" will be turning 10 this year. Since we have gotten close with them, we decided it would be special to have a party this evening in honor of both our girls. It was obviously a party for the both of them and I was really looking forward to it. We brought snacks and drinks, got a gift for "A" for the third year in a row (which we like to do in honor of Lily) and balloons. "J" was going to get the cake.

Well, we walked in the front door and I saw the cute little cake down the hallway in the kitchen sitting on the table. I smiled and went in to look at it and noticed there were words. I was thinking, oh I wonder what it says. Then, when I only saw "Happy 10th Birthday, A" my heart just sank...it threw me off for the rest of the night. After that, I was going to ask if we could sing happy birthday to both Lily and "A" because I brought 10 candles for "A" and a "3" candle for Lily. Well, before I could ask, everyone started singing and didn't include Lily's name. Crushing. Then, I figured later maybe "J" would at least give us a card or something, especially because last year she mentioned she should have given us something and that was before we were really even close with her. Since we give "A" a sweet gift each year. And the thing is, I don't really care about a gift...it's the thought behind picking out a card or something and saying you care.

"J" knows we love Lily and are very open about talking about her. I thought she "understood" in a special way. I even took over a few of Lily's things to share. When we got home, my mom knew immediately what was wrong and that I would be hurt by all three of those things. She said when she saw the cake she felt bad for me. I am glad at least she understands.

This all might sound silly and like not a big deal. I don't know, I am just disappointed with how tonight went and really wish I didn't always feel so foreign in this world. It felt like Lily was going to be celebrated and honored in almost a "normal" way...at least as normal as it can be to celebrate someone's birthday without them here. I was happy about this. But, it ended up me feeling so not normal, as usual. It feels like others don't value my daughter. I wish it wasn't always so awkward. I wish people could understand without this happening to them, if that makes sense. I wish I wasn't hurt by things like this. I wish people saw Lily the same way they see other children. She is just as valuable and precious and special. And it is just as much her birthday as "A's." I just wish it wasn't so hard. I know that "J" cares about us and Lily and didn't mean to hurt me of course...I just wish it were different. I wish people would make an effort to include my daughter because she is real and important. I wish people would understand that they don't need to make it an uncomfortable thing because it isn't to me.

I am thankful to have the love and support of my mom and some of my family and many dear friends...but sometimes it just hurts to be disappointed with how people "handle Lily and I."

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Our Little Spud - the Anniversary of Lily's Due Date

Lily Katherine was due three years ago today, March 14th, 2010 (National Potato Chip Day), so one of her nicknames is "Spud." :)

Ironically, the food I ate nonstop during my pregnancy were hashbrowns. I craved them daily and enjoyed them homemade, as well as at all different restaurants. It's only appropriate to make eating them a tradition each year on this day, in honor of our little Spud. Mom made them for breakfast - some soft and some crispy, just the way I like them. And with ketchup. Delicious!

Though Lily was not born on March 14th, it was the day she was due, the date I associated with her my entire pregnancy and shared that date when people asked how far along I was. So naturally, I still think of her on this date. I thought it sounded like such a pretty day to be due. I always liked even numbers better, rather than odd.

I love having special days/memories/cute stories like this to share with others...because the fact is, I hardly got to make any memories at all with my first-born babe. And things like this remind me that she was real! She was truly here. That may sound confusing to some, but to me March just helps remind me and others around me that I didn't just lose an idea of a person, but a real, living, important, special someone...my precious daughter.

My sweet friend Naomi, from Blessings Close To My Heart (who lives in Canada), took this photo for me today! Aww, I love it! Thank you so much, friend...for being so thoughtful, having hashbrowns for Lily, and capturing it in a photo! :)

My friend Kyla, from Tossie's Tree and Painted Rocks (who lives in Missouri), shared this photo with me of the hashbrowns she made for her family to eat for dinner! She said this: "Just wanted to show you what my family had for dinner...Homemade hashbrowns! I even added red peppers for Lily ♥ Much love to you today and this weekend. ♥" Thank you for doing that and for taking a photo. It means so much to me! And how precious that your whole family had them. :)

My blog friend Jaime, from Handprint On My Heart, shared this photo with me today. Her precious daughter, Claire, was due on March 10th, 2010...just four days before my Lily girl! Claire came unexpectedly early, on October 1st, 2009 (Luke's exact due date), and also now lives in Heaven. Hearts remind Jamie of Claire and she has sweet photo collages each month of all the "winks" Claire sends, whether to her directly or through friends.

Jaime posted this photo on my facebook and said this: "I thought I would share a few of Claire's winks in honor of your Lily's due date... I think they just might put a smile on your face! x ♥ o"

Thank you, Jaime! This is so sweet and certainly did put a smile on my face. :) I am glad I could share with you that today is National Potato Chip Day! This photo is special obviously because of the chips, but also because hearts remind me of Lily from my Valentine's-themed baby shower! And it's sweet to have so many dates and things in common with you.

I thought this was pretty neat...a lady on facebook saw my status about what today means to me on my Lily's Legacy facebook page and said this: "That is so weird. I craved them today and ate them. So I guess Spud is on my heart." How precious! :)

I know due dates mean different things for people who have lost babies. For me, the due date is a special, happy memory because I was still carrying Lily and was oblivious to the fact that she was already gone. Due dates are probably more painful for those who lost their babies early in pregnancy because they should have been pregnant up until that time and due dates are a reminder of what should have been. Lily's birthday is a reminder to me of what could have been...

This evening, mom and and I are going over to our neighbor "J's" home, just one house down, for a special celebration. In the past year, we have gotten really close with her. Two years ago, around Lily's 1st birthday, we found out her daughter "A" shares Lily's birthday, March 16th! She will be turning 10 on Lily's 3rd birthday. Since we all have our own plans on Saturday, we still wanted to celebrate together. I suggested doing it today since it's close to the actual day and because it was Lily's due date. So, we will be having cake and yummy snacks tonight in honor of both our girls! This will also be the third year in a row that we will give "A" a gift. It is a sweet way to honor Lily's life and special day...and besides, we really enjoy shopping for little girls! :)

If you like hashbrowns, today is a great day to eat them in honor of little Lily. ♥ And if you do, please let me know and maybe even take a picture? It would mean a lot to me. :)

Just two days away from Lily's 3rd birthday...

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Our Little Spud

Lily Katherine was due two years ago today, March 14, 2010 (National Potato Chip Day), so we called her Spud. Ironically, the food I ate nonstop during my pregnancy were hashbrowns. I craved them daily and enjoyed them homemade, as well as at all different restaurants. It's only appropriate to make eating them a tradition each year on this day, in honor of our little Spud. Mom and I ate them for breakfast this morning :)

Woke up and felt a sadness, realizing it was March 14. That was the date I associated with Lily for my entire pregnancy, so naturally, I still think of her on this date. I thought it sounded like such a pretty day to be due. I always liked even numbers better, rather than odd. Her birthday is almost here and I am missing her more with each new day...

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