This is a post I originally wrote and shared in 2012. I am reminded of it each year around this time.
In the first few weeks after losing her, all the flowers were blooming beautifully and the sun grew warmer on my skin. The birds were happily chirping along, preparing nests for their wee ones. It felt wrong that life was marching on and the seasons were changing, even though she wasn't there. It felt like everything was supposed to stop since her life had ended.
With the promise of Spring, came the promise of Lily. Like the new life bursting forth from the earth, Lily was new life. Spring and Lily...they came together.
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Spring is officially here and for me, it's a bittersweet time of year. It reminds me of the time Lily came...and went. She was born just days before Spring started. In the first few weeks after losing her, all the flowers were blooming beautifully and the sun grew warmer on my skin. The birds were happily chirping along, preparing nests for their wee ones. It felt wrong that life was marching on and the seasons were changing, even though she wasn't there. It felt like everything was supposed to stop since her life had ended.
With the promise of Spring, came the promise of Lily. Like the new life bursting forth from the earth, Lily was new life. Spring and Lily...they came together.
I see the hand of my God in choosing for her to be born right before the genesis of Spring. He silently speaks with the vibrant colors, fresh smells, and the beauty of the season. There may be pain, there may be sorrow, there may be winter...oh, but in Him, we have the hope and the certainty that joy and Spring are coming!
There have been so many of these reminders in my life. Like on the day she was born, it was dark and gloomy out and seemed to reflect the heart of God grieving along with us. Then, suddenly, unexpectedly, the sun peeked out from behind the clouds and a hint of blue could be seen. And it reminds me of this dance of sorrow and joy and how this whole journey is marked by both kinds of tears.
With Spring comes new life and fresh hope. Even here on Earth, the Lord is bringing beauty from ashes. There is Spring even here, in this fallen world. The Lord is giving me a life and a purpose through Lily's life and legacy. What the world would look at as hopeless, God has turned into something so breathtakingly beautiful. In the midst of darkness, He brings glorious light. He uses the very things the enemy means to destroy us with and brings glory to Himself. He uses all things together for our good (Romans 8:28). He brings new life out of tragedy and heartbreak. Even with the pain, I would never choose another way.
I am honored to have been chosen to be Lily's mother. I am honored that God would choose to speak His promise of everlasting life through Lily's and my story. She was born on March 16 (3:16) and yet again, He silently speaks His promise of Spring...
I am honored to have been chosen to be Lily's mother. I am honored that God would choose to speak His promise of everlasting life through Lily's and my story. She was born on March 16 (3:16) and yet again, He silently speaks His promise of Spring...
"For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life." -John 3:16
Not only does God somehow, some magnificent way bring beauty and Spring here on Earth, but He reminds me that Spring is coming. Eternal Spring. Life with Him forever. But, forever doesn't have to begin when I die. I have Him now. I have His promises now, even though I don't tangibly have them all yet, I do have them, for He's promised them to me. And I trust Him. Even with the loss of Lily, I can have the hope that this sorrow is only for a short while longer. Then I will be with my girl for all of Eternity!
My mom saw a glorious rainbow this morning, stretching all the way from one side of the sky to the other. She said the colors were so vibrant and amazing. How appropriate for this first day of Spring.
So with this change of season, may we each cling to the Hope that is Christ. May we cling to the promise that He can and will bring beauty and Spring out of sorrow and Winter. Both here on Earth...and for all Eternity.
Spring is coming. Hallelujah!
"Our LORD has written the promises of the Resurrection, not in books alone, but in every leaf in Springtime." -Martin Luther
"Weeping may last for the night, but joy comes with the morning." -Psalm 30:5
This is a song from Steven Curtis Chapman's album, "Beauty Will Rise," that has been most instrumental in my healing journey. It flowed out of the Chapman's loss of their own precious daughter. This song reminds me so much of Lily, Spring, and the promise I have in Christ.
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