Spring is Coming

Spring is officially here and for me, it's a bittersweet time of year. It reminds me of the time Lily came...and went. She was born just days before spring started. In the first few weeks after losing her, all the flowers were blooming so beautifully and the sun grew stronger on my skin. The birds were happily chirping along, preparing nests for their wee ones. It felt wrong that life was marching on, the seasons were changing, even though she wasn't there. It felt like everything was supposed to stop since her life had ended. With the promise of spring, came the promise of Lily. Like the new life bursting forth from the earth, Lily was new life. 

Spring and Lily...they came together.

I see the hand of my God in choosing for Lily's birthday, the genesis of Spring, and Easter to all be within just a couple weeks of each other. He silently speaks with the vibrant colors, fresh smells, and the beauty of the season. There may be pain, there may be sorrow, there may be winter...oh, but in Him, we have the hope and the certainty that joy and spring are coming! 

There have been so many of these reminders in my life. Like on the day she was born, as well as on her 1st, 2nd, and 3rd birthdays, it was dark and gloomy out, and seemed to reflect the heart of God grieving along with us. Then, suddenly, unexpectedly, the sun peeks out from behind the clouds and a hint of blue can be seen. And it reminds me of this dance of sorrow and joy and how this whole journey is marked by tears of happiness and tears of sadness. 

With spring, comes new LIFE, fresh hope. Even here on Earth, the Lord is bringing beauty from ashes. There is spring even here, in this fallen world. Through my own sin and sorrow, He is giving me a life and a purpose through Lily's life and legacy. What the world would look at as hopeless, God has turned into something so breathtakingly beautiful. In the midst of darkness, He brings glorious light. He uses the very things the enemy means to destroy us with and brings glory to Himself. He uses all things together for our good (Romans 8:28). He brings new life out of tragedy and heartbreak. Even with the pain, I would never choose another way. I am honored to have been chosen to be Lily's mother. I am honored that God would choose to speak His promise of everlasting LIFE through Lily's and my story. She was born on March 16 (3:16) and yet again, He silently speaks His promise of spring...

"For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life." -John 3:16 

Not only does God somehow, some magnificent way bring beauty and spring here on Earth, but He reminds me that spring is coming. Eternal spring. Life with Him forever. But, forever doesn't have to begin when I die. I have Him now. I have His promises now, even though I don't tangibly have them yet, I do have them, for He's promised them to me. And I trust Him. Even with the loss of Lily, I can have the hope that this sorrow is only for a short while longer. Then I will be with my girl for all of Eternity! 

So with this change of season, may we each cling to the HOPE that's Christ. May we cling to the promise that He can and will bring beauty and spring out of sorrow and winter. Both here on Earth...and for all Eternity. 

Spring is coming. Hallelujah! 
  
"Our Lord has written the promise of the resurrection, not in books alone, but in every leaf in springtime." -Martin Luther

"Weeping may last for the night, but joy comes with the morning." -Psalm 30:5

This is a song off Steven Curtis Chapman's album, "Beauty Will Rise," that has been most instrumental in my healing journey. It flowed out of the Chapman's loss of their own precious daughter. This song reminds me so much of Lily, spring, and the promise I have in Christ. May you be blessed by it today as well.

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Lily's Spot Decorated for Spring

As I've mentioned before, Lily is buried in my hometown in Virginia, and I live in North Carolina, so I'm unable to visit her spot as much as I'd like and can't decorate if often myself. Thankfully, I have a great friend who lives in the town where Lily's buried who offers to do it for me and lets me send her the things I want to be taken to Lily's spot. And she takes awesome pictures for me to see! :-) As I like to say, it's the next best thing to actually going myself.

Elise decorated Lily's spot for her birthday last month and just decorated it again this month for springtime! I sent her this beautiful flag I got customized online.

I have had trouble finding flags that are appropriate for her spot, so when I discovered that I could custom-make them, I was so happy! If you are interested in getting a customized flag in honor of your baby, you can do so online and for not too expensive. Just google "custom-made garden flags" and then don't forget to also look for a coupon code online! Most places have coupons.

I am going to switch out the flags for different holidays and seasons. I love the bright colors in this one, and of course butterflies are special and symbolic to me because they symbolize new LIFE in Christ! I also have my butterfly flag stand, rather than just a typical one. Found that one after some searching online. Lily's spot has to be just perfect. :-)

Spring is a time of flowers blooming, so I got the words on this flag to say "Bloom in Heaven, Lily Katherine." Because even though "my little flower" isn't blooming on earth, like she would have been had she lived (she was born at the genesis of spring), I know with all my heart that she is blooming with LIFE Eternally with Jesus.

It reminds me of the quote that is perfect for her:
"A tiny flower, lent not given, to bud on earth and bloom in Heaven..."

Look at the gorgeous April sky and beautiful Blue Ridge Mountains of Virginia in the background. :)

Thank you, friend, for decorating her special spot for me and taking photos for me to see! ♥

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Spring is Coming...

*This was originally posted on March 20th, 2012*

Spring is officially here and for me, it's a bittersweet time of year. It reminds me of the time Lily came...and went. She was born just days before spring started. In the first few weeks after losing her, all the flowers were blooming so beautifully and the sun grew stronger on my skin. The birds were happily chirping along, preparing nests for their wee ones. It felt wrong that life was marching on, the seasons were changing, even though she wasn't there. It felt like everything was supposed to stop since her life had ended. With the promise of spring, came the promise of Lily. Like the new life bursting forth from the earth, Lily was new life. 

Spring and Lily...they came together.

I see the hand of my God in choosing for Lily's birthday, the genesis of Spring, and Easter to all be within just a couple weeks of each other. He silently speaks with the vibrant colors, fresh smells, and the beauty of the season. There may be pain, there may be sorrow, there may be winter...oh, but in Him, we have the hope and the certainty that joy and spring are coming! 

There have been so many of these reminders in my life. Like on the day she was born, as well as on her 1st, 2nd, and 3rd birthdays, it was dark and gloomy out, and seemed to reflect the heart of God grieving along with us. Then, suddenly, unexpectedly, the sun peeks out from behind the clouds and a hint of blue can be seen. And it reminds me of this dance of sorrow and joy and how this whole journey is marked by tears of happiness and tears of sadness. 

With spring, comes new LIFE, fresh hope. Even here on earth, the Lord is bringing beauty from ashes. There is spring even here, in this fallen world. Through my own sin and sorrow, He is giving me a life and a purpose through Lily's life and legacy. What the world would look at as hopeless, God has turned into something so breathtakingly beautiful. In the midst of darkness, He brings glorious light. He uses the very things the enemy means to destroy us with and brings glory to Himself. He uses all things together for our good (Romans 8:28). He brings new life out of tragedy and heartbreak. Even with the pain, I would never choose another way. I am honored to have been chosen to be Lily's mother. I am honored that God would choose to speak His promise of everlasting LIFE through Lily's and my story. She was born on March 16 (3:16) and yet again, He silently speaks His promise of spring...

"For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life." ~John 3:16 

Not only does God somehow, some magnificent way bring beauty and spring here on earth, but He reminds me that spring is coming. Eternal spring. Life with Him forever. But, forever doesn't have to begin when I die. I have Him now. I have His promises now, even though I don't tangibly have them yet, I do have them, for He's promised them to me. And I trust Him. Even with the loss of Lily, I can have the hope that this sorrow is only for a short while longer. Then I will be with my girl for all of Eternity! 

My mom saw a glorious rainbow this morning, stretching all the way from one side of the sky to the other. She said the colors were so vibrant and amazing. How appropriate for this first day of spring. :-)

So with this change of season, may we each cling to the HOPE that's Christ. May we cling to the promise that He can and will bring beauty and spring out of sorrow and winter. Both here on earth...and for all Eternity. 

Spring is coming. Hallelujah! 

  

"Our LORD has written the promises of THE RESURRECTION, not in books alone, but in every leaf in Springtime." ~Martin Luther

"Weeping may last for the night, but joy comes with the morning." ~Psalm 30:5

This is a song off Steven Curtis Chapman's album, "Beauty Will Rise," that has been most instrumental in my healing journey. It flowed out of the Chapman's loss of their own precious daughter. This song reminds me so much of Lily, spring, and the promise I have in Christ. May you be blessed by it today as well.

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Spring is Coming...

Spring is officially here and for me, it's a bittersweet time of year. It reminds me of the time Lily came...and went. She was born just days before spring started. In the first few weeks after losing her, all the flowers were blooming so beautifully and the sun grew stronger on my skin. The birds were happily chirping along, preparing nests for their wee ones. It felt wrong that life was marching on, the seasons were changing, even though she wasn't there. It felt like everything was supposed to stop since her life had ended. With the promise of spring, came the promise of Lily. Like the new life bursting forth from the earth, Lily was new life. 

Spring and Lily...they came together.

I see the hand of my God in choosing for her to be born right before the genesis of spring. He silently speaks with the vibrant colors, fresh smells, and the beauty of the season. There may be pain, there may be sorrow, there may be winter...oh, but in Him, we have the hope and the certainty that joy and spring are coming! 

There have been so many of these reminders in my life. Like on the day she was born, as well as on her 1st and 2nd birthdays, it was dark and gloomy out, and seemed to reflect the heart of God grieving along with us. Then, suddenly, unexpectedly, the sun peeks out from behind the clouds and a hint of blue can be seen. And it reminds me of this dance of sorrow and joy and how this whole journey is marked by tears of happiness and tears of sadness. 

With spring, comes new LIFE, fresh hope. Even here on earth, the Lord is bringing beauty from ashes. There is spring even here, in this fallen world. Through my own sin and sorrow, He is giving me a life and a purpose through Lily's life and legacy. What the world would look at as hopeless, God has turned into something so breathtakingly beautiful. In the midst of darkness, He brings glorious light. He uses the very things the enemy means to destroy us with and brings glory to Himself. He uses all things together for our good (Romans 8:28). He brings new life out of tragedy and heartbreak. Even with the pain, I would never choose another way. I am honored to have been chosen to be Lily's mother. I am honored that God would choose to speak His promise of everlasting LIFE through Lily's and my story. She was born on March 16 (3:16) and yet again, He silently speaks His promise of spring...

"For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life." ~John 3:16 

Not only does God somehow, some magnificent way bring beauty and spring here on earth, but He reminds me that spring is coming. Eternal spring. Life with Him forever. But, forever doesn't have to begin when I die. I have Him now. I have His promises now, even though I don't tangibly have them yet, I do have them, for He's promised them to me. And I trust Him. Even with the loss of Lily, I can have the hope that this sorrow is only for a short while longer. Then I will be with my girl for all of Eternity! 

My mom saw a glorious rainbow this morning, stretching all the way from one side of the sky to the other. She said the colors were so vibrant and amazing. How appropriate for this first day of spring. :-)

So with this change of season, may we each cling to the HOPE that's Christ. May we cling to the promise that He can and will bring beauty and spring out of sorrow and winter. Both here on earth...and for all Eternity. 

Spring is coming. Hallelujah! 

  

"Our LORD has written the promises of THE RESURRECTION, not in books alone, but in every leaf in Springtime." ~Martin Luther

"Weeping may last for the night, but joy comes with the morning." ~Psalm 30:5

This is a song off Steven Curtis Chapman's album, "Beauty Will Rise," that has been most instrumental in my healing journey. It flowed out of the Chapman's loss of their own precious daughter. This song reminds me so much of Lily, spring, and the promise I have in Christ. May you be blessed by it today as well.

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New Life

A friend of the family shared this with me the weekend of Lily's memorial service:


Bob wrote, "After Tim shared, I thought I'd seen something wonderful around that time too. First flowers of Spring on March 16th." (Lily's birthday)

With the promise of spring, came the promise of Lily. Like the new life all around me bursting forth from the earth, Lily was new life. We wait. We anticipate. Spring and Lily, they came together. Now, spring will always remind me of the time Lily came...and went. Ahh, spring is so bittersweet. Lily came and because of her life, she brought me new life, changing my heart forever. Although she left so soon, I know she has eternal life.


What a sweet and beautiful God we serve, to give me such a glorious promise of life, on the most difficult day I've known.

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The Promise of Spring

All week, the skies have been perfectly blue, with white, fluffy clouds sailing by. One afternoon was spent in pleasant conversation with my mother and good friend, Kala. We discussed the set-apart life, deliverances, and everything in between. Fresh, cool breezes circulated through the home, blowing back the curtains, giving us a glimpse of the beauty of the day. Spring has sprung. This is the sort of weather that just makes you feel happy. It makes you want to smile and breathe in deeply. Just soak it up.


But, this spring is different. Days are now bittersweet. With the promise of spring, came the promise of Lily. Like the new life all around me bursting forth from the earth, Lily was new life. We wait. We anticipate. Spring and Lily...they came together. Now, spring will always remind me of the time Lily came...and went. How cruel it seems. Now, I'm not sure what the future holds...I'm not sure what to dream anymore, how to feel. What promises does tomorrow hold? How can all the plants and flowers still look so pretty without her here? They seem so happy. Everyone seems so happy, out playing in the warm weather and sunshine. Spring and summer clothes now being brought out of storage.


I can't blame them though. I would be doing the same thing. I would be out enjoying the beautiful days with Lily, taking walks, reading on the front porch, her laying in her Moses basket, while Mom works in her garden.


But instead of spending my days with my little girl, dreaming for her, I'm spending my days thinking about her, talking about her, longing for her. Writing about her. Writing has been so healing for me these days, like gardening is for my mom. As I write this now, she is bustling around, tidying up the porch, pulling weeds, and getting her yard ready for the season. It's been really good finding websites and other blogs with people who have gone through situations similar to or like my own. I realize I'm not alone. People have gone before me..and made it. Of coarse they don't forget, but they are able to still live. Still breathe. Even without their baby...As much as we don't want to. There's like an online community of women who have lost their babies, all sorts of times and ways. Even though I would never want another woman to have to know this pain, it's good to know I'm not alone...

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