Lily's Stone Installation

Lily's stone was installed on the morning of Saturday, November 2nd. My brothers, mom, grandmother, sister-in-law, and I met two men who are involved with Hillsboro Cemetery in Crozet, Virginia at 9:00 a.m. They had to be there to show us where the stone should be placed, to overlook the installation process, and to make sure everything went smoothly.

A monument company in Seattle, Washington created Lily's stone. It was completely custom-made! I had tried to find a monument company in Virginia to work with who could give me exactly what I was looking for, but had no success. I am so incredibly thankful the Lord led me to this company that gave me everything I wanted and more! They would have installed the stone for me, but obviously they on the opposite coast than where Lily is buried so that would be a little difficult. The company tried to find a place in Virginia to install the stone for me for a reasonable price. However, for a quick installation, they were wanting to charge me $200-$300, which is just outrageous... I got the impression that they were offended I worked with a company in another state and therefore didn't want to install it.

Cemeteries have many different rules and regulations regarding how the actual stone can look, what can be left at the cemetery as decorations, etc. I am thankful that Lily is buried at a cemetery where I was able to pick the exact stone I want and I can leave any decorations I want. They are not strict at all. And they allowed us to do the installation ourselves, which many cemeteries would not allow. This is a benefit of a small country cemetery, rather than a city cemetery. The stone itself, granite foundation, and shipping costs were already very expensive, so I didn't want to pay hundreds more for installation. Thank God for a flexible cemetery. And thank God for two strong big brothers who were willing to install Lily's stone for me for FREE! They saved me hundreds of dollars!

The monument company in Seattle shipped Lily's stone directly to my home in North Carolina. They were going to send it to Virginia, but I was nervous about it getting damaged in some way either waiting at the church or at the cemetery until I could arrive. Since I live in another state, I had to plan the trip up there and didn't know exactly when I could get there. I had wanted to go at the end of September, then in October... but it didn't end up working out until early November. So they were able to send it to my home, then I brought it to Virginia in my car (lots of careful lifting and packing!) Because Lily's stone is small, my brothers were able to handle it safely. I didn't want to be uneasy about if her stone was safe or not and knew that the best place for it to be was with me... and it was so special to be able to have her stone at my home for a little over a month. I had it sitting in my living room for a while and could just see how beautiful it is every day.

For several weeks before the installation, I was nervous thinking about how it was going to work out. Obviously my brothers have never installed a headstone before and we were completely clueless about how to do it. I didn't want it to be done poorly, especially because it is a permanent thing and it was very expensive. The monument company in Seattle was able to give me step-by-step instructions on how to install it, which I really appreciated. It wasn't too complicated and was quite interesting to see how it works. They were very patient with answering my questions and explained it in detail. The gentleman who gave me the instructions offered to help on the morning of the installation if we needed it (even though it was going to be 6 a.m. on the west coast!) I had to call to ask a few more questions late the Friday night before and he was so helpful and kind.

It took us probably more than twice as long as it would take someone who installs headstones on a regular basis, but I am so impressed with how it turned out!

We had so many different tools to work with for the installation. We thought ahead and planned out everything we would need. I am glad we didn't forget anything. I did have to take a trip to Lowe's on that morning to get a couple more things we needed.

How the installation process went - we dug a hole for the granite foundation first (after figuring out exactly where the stone needed to be). I chose to pay for this foundation, rather than having to go through the process of pouring concrete (way more complicated). We had to get that leveled out, which was difficult because the ground is not flat. Then, we eased the bottom part of Lily's stone onto the foundation. We had to put the silicone in the holes and use nails... then we did the same with the tablet easing down onto the bottom part of the stone. The monument company in Seattle already had already put the lamb on top. We had to put small plastic pieces in between each part for expansion purposes when it freezes (I had no idea about all of this beforehand). Then we filled in the cracks between the pieces with clear silicone. At the end, we filled the sides around the foundation with dirt and sand and then placed the vase, using a nail and silicone. I had the stone face the way that all the other stones in the cemetery face and put the foundation in the ground so that the vase would be on the right side... that makes it easier for cars when they are pulling in to see the pretty flowers and decorations in the vase.

Here are some photos of the installation process.

I poured some of my sand from Christian's Beach into the ground during installation. This is the beach in Australia where Lily's name has been written many times... Carly Marie's artwork has been a huge part of my grief and healing, so it was so special to have a little of that sand at Lily's final resting place. My friend Tiffany who lives in California was able to meet Carly Marie recently and got me a little bottle of the sand! It arrived just in time for Lily's stone installation. :)

We used blue tape to put the clear silicone on.

So that is how Lily's stone installation went... I am so thankful it went smoothly! It was such a relief when it was finished... I will share soon about Lily's Stone Placement Ceremony that happened that afternoon.

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A Christmas Stocking for Lily

My grandmother knit me a Christmas stocking when I was a little girl. And it is so special that she is going to make Lily's Christmas stocking now. This is a way she can be Lily's great-grandmother... this is something they can share. 

I hope my grandmother lives a long time longer, but the thing is, you never know. She is 82 years old. I will forever treasure this stocking, long after my grandmother is with Jesus. It is a small way Lily can be included in the Christmas season. One day, when I hopefully have more children, I will be able to hang her stocking with theirs. 

I hope my grandmother will get to know my future children. It hurts that she should know Lily, but Lily isn't here. In a way, she does know her. She knows her legacy. She knows her through me. And my grandmother and I have a special bond and connection because she also lost a baby, my Aunt Rachel.

When I was in Virginia for Thanksgiving, we were planning on going to pick out the pattern and yarn for the stocking, but we forgot until the last day! But, I will be going back to Virginia to celebrate New Years, so my grandmother and I are definitely going to Hobby Lobby then (I love Hobby Lobby! They are an amazing store and they are Christian, so I especially like to support them!) I wish it could be ready for this Christmas season, but my grandmother said she might have it ready by Lily's 4th birthday, depending on how complicated it is. Even though I won't be able to use it until next Christmas, that is something special to look forward to seeing on her birthday.

I am thinking I want it relatively small, with Lily's name (and possibly birthday on it) and maybe pink, white, and red for the colors (Christmasy colors, yet still girly, and sort of like Valentine's which reminds me of Lily because I had a Valentine's-themed baby shower). My grandmother also suggested to include a lamb on it, which is perfect! Lily's stone has a lamb on top and lambs symbolize innocence and purity which Lily Katherine's name means. I am really looking forward to seeing how this will come together. I want it to be just right for my girl, something I treasure forever.

This means so much to me since my grandmother was here when Lily was. She made my stocking and now she's making my girls'...

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Lily's Spot Decorated for Christmas

I was in Virginia for several days last week to celebrate Thanksgiving. On the morning of Thanksgiving before going over to spend the day with my family at my Uncle's house, I went to the cemetery to decorate Lily's special spot for Christmas! 

When we got into town the night before (on Wednesday) my brother Adam, mom, and I went to Michael's in Charlottesville to pick out decorations. 

Here is Lily's beautiful stone looking so sweet for the Christmas season! 

I wasn't sure how I wanted to decorate it, but I am so pleased with how it turned out. I wanted it to look simple, sweet, old-fashioned, and Christmasy. I picked out the cutest mini-Christmas tree (on the left), a red and green big bow (tied around the lamb), and an arrangement of different things for the vase (a candy cane, rose, Christmas holly, and another piece with pinecones on it). Also, a Christmas berry wreath fits perfectly around the vase. I love how the rose and tree look like they have snow on them.

Here I am on Thanksgiving right after I decorated it... in my Christmas jacket. :)

We also decorated my Grandfather and Aunt Rachel's bench for the Christmas season. Here are both their spots with the beautiful Blue Ridge Mountain background.

My grandmother and I at both our girls' special spot (Lily and my Aunt Rachel... as well as my Grandfather).

With Lily Bear in her Christmas outfit on the last day I got to visit Lily's spot before leaving for North Carolina where I live.

I can't wait for springtime when the grass will grow through the dirt from the stone installation.

I haven't seen Lily's stone since the weekend it was installed. For some reason, it was quite emotional for me... I miss her especially at Christmas. I wish I was getting her presents, rather than decorating her stone. I wish I didn't live so far from her stone and didn't have to wonder if the wind and rain was ruining her decorations or if they are blowing away. I wish I could decorate her spot myself as often as I want. I wish I could just go sit there in the stillness by myself to think and pray. I spent some time this trip just sitting on the ground, staring at her stone. I truly can't get over how perfect and beautiful it is.

Lily's stone has now been decorated for fall and Christmas. I am thankful I got to be there on Thanksgiving Day, but oh how I wish I could stop by the cemetery on Christmas Day and her birthday (and other special dates)... I still haven't been able to be there on her birthday. I really would like to be there one year for her special day.

I am thankful that I was able to make it so special for my sweet girl for Christmas... it's coming up on the 4th Christmas without her. How can it be?!

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4 Seems Like Such a Big Number

A few nights ago, I saw a commercial about the upcoming Winter 2014 Olympics, which are coming in February... I sat there in disbelief that it's already almost time for them again.

It's been four years since the Winter 2010 Olympics... such a long time. Four years is the time frame that people graduate from high-school and college. Nearly four years since Lily was born. Nearly four years since her tiny body was laid to rest beneath the Virginia earth... I was in my third trimester of pregnancy with Lily when the Winter Olympics were on the last time. It is such a sweet memory of sitting on the couch with my family, watching for hours. I really enjoy watching the Olympics and that is something I got to do while Lily was here. I miss her... I wish she was here to watch them with me this time around as an almost-4-year-old.

I was recently talking with my brother about how I would almost have a 4-year-old in just a few months! Time flies. I don't know why, but 4 seems like such a big number. I hardly know how to imagine her at that age. In my heart, she will always be my baby. But, she wouldn't be a baby anymore if she were here. She would be doing all that almost-4-year-old girls do... whatever that may be, I will never know.

Here is a photo of my older twin brothers and I watching the 2010 Winter Olympics... we were having fun I promise, even though we might not look like it in the photo haha.

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Thankful

Happy Thanksgiving!

There are soooo many things that I am so incredibly thankful to the Lord for... my beautiful home, food to keep my body nourished, a cozy bed, my wonderful family and friends, my cats, the opportunity to study at a Christian University to pursue my degree, being able to share my story in speaking and writing... among many, many other things.

I am thankful for the gift of Lily's and Luke's lives... I am thankful to be their mother.

I hope each of you has a blessed Thanksgiving spent with loved ones.

"O give thanks unto the LORD; for He is good: 

because His mercy endureth forever."

~Psalm 118:1

"In everything give thanks; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 

~1 Thessalonians 5:18

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I hope people feel the love I have for her when they see her stone

When I drive to a nearby city in North Carolina, I usually take the back roads, rather than the highway. When I go this way, I drive past a church with a cemetery right beside it. As I drive past, my eye is always drawn to a beautiful headstone. I pulled over on the side of the road one day to see who this headstone honors. It is for a little boy who passed away very early in life. The stone is very unique, in the shape of a train... little boys love trains.

Not only is the stone itself so beautiful, but each time I pass, his spot is decorated. For all different seasons, holidays, and for his birthday. Though I have no idea the story of this little boy or who his family is, I can tell how much he is loved by the care that goes into his spot. By the special decorations left that bring color to this cemetery. By the design of his stone. He is so loved and missed. I can tell this about complete strangers.

And it got me thinking... I wonder who sees Lily's special spot. I wonder what people think of her stone when they see it. I hope they think the same thing about her stone and spot as I think about this little boys'... that she is so very loved and missed. That her stone is beautiful. That the decorations are sweet. That even though they don't know her story or who I am, they can just feel the love... the love I have for my precious daughter who I can only mother through things like designing her headstone and tending to that special spot.

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"A Bump in Life" Book Giveaway!

To help spread the word about the new book, A Bump in Life: True Stories of Hope & Courage during an Unplanned Pregnancy, by the lovely Amy Ford (who is the Co-Founder of Embrace Grace Ministries) I am giving away a FREE copy SIGNED by Amy!!

To Enter:

-"Like" my Facebook page
-Leave a comment on this blog post
-Share about this book on your Facebook page

The giveaway will remain open for a little while... the random winner will be announced soon! Even if you don't win, you should seriously grab a copy for yourself... and for some friends while you're at it! You will be blessed!

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