Saturday, December 19, 2015

Not Left Without Comfort

A blog reader/friend of mine named Tina emailed me a couple weeks ago with something sweet and encouraging, so I want to share part of it here (I left out some of her more personal things). Tina also has a baby daughter who was stillborn who is also named Lilly (just with two l's rather than one like my Lily's name is spelled)

This is what she wrote:

I thought of you one recent morning when I looked out and saw a fresh dusting of snow on our deck table. I felt compelled to write your daughter's name in the pure white snow...then I wrote our daughter's name too.



You can derive so much meaning out of the photos.

*Of course the first thing to see is the purity of our daughters that matches their names.

*Another thing that I see is that the chairs are empty. I put one chair in the photo of your Lily's name, representing you...and two chairs in the photo with both of our daughter's names in it, representing both of us. We share in the great loss of our daughters.
WE became physically empty of our daughters IN their death...both on the inside AND on the outside.

*Less than an hour later, the snow had all melted, leaving behind puddles of water on the table. This represents the brief lives of our daughters.
In a moment (on another "table") we were told that their was no heart beat and the beautiful dreams (with our daughters) evaporated just like the snow, leaving behind puddles of tears that we have shed and are still shedding.

*Though the table is made of glass, it is solid and it holds our tears well. The solidness of the table and the transparency of the glass is like our faith in Jesus Christ. For "now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." Hebrews 11:1. We have THE solid and true Lord and Saviour to lean on and to cry it all out too. Though we cannot take a photo (evidence) of our Lord Jesus, He IS SO VERY present. He is so very REAL. HE is not a dream that will ever vanish from us. He has not left us comfortless.

John 14:1-3 - "Let not your heart be troubled: ye believe in God, believe also in me. In my Father's house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and receive you unto myself; that where I am, there ye may be also."

God was SPEAKING to us with words...HIS words...from HIS WORD! I love John 14. Later on these words are written....

"Jesus answered and said unto him, If a man love me, he will keep my words: and my Father will love him, and we will come unto him, and make our abode with him. He that loveth me not keepeth not my sayings: and the word which ye hear is not mine, but the Father's which sent me. These things have I spoken unto you, being yet present with you. But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you. Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid. Ye have heard how I said unto you, I go away, and come again unto you. If ye loved me, ye would rejoice, because I said, I go unto the Father: for my Father is greater than I." (verses 23-28)

Let not your heart be troubled.
My heart was not troubled with our child's "whereabouts." I KNEW that she was with Jesus. But my heart was most certainly in agony. I found myself comforted in the knowledge that God was taking swift notice of our loss and that He was communicating with us through people and through HIS very Word!!! His Holy Ghost was moving and working very clearly. I was further comforted with what the Holy Ghost was bringing to my remembrances. One thing that I was clinging to...and still cling to...is that Jesus is a man of sorrow. He knows all about it! Praise to the Lord.

So often we who are traversing this journey of loss are finding our grief wanting. We want and need to express our grief ON something. The memories of our child are few and we seem to come up to the edge of expressing it fully through something tangible...and we can come up so empty...like the chairs in the photos...like the emptiness of the table. As the mother, our loss cuts extra deep because our loss is physically internal as well as physically external. WE were representing our child in body as our bodies grew with our child. We were getting to know them while they were on the inside...feeling their movements and the weight of them. We were dreaming of their lives on the outside.

My point being, we are NOT left without comfort. God is still moving and doing MIGHTY things. Jesus Christ is the way to TRUE comfort and to the peace that passes all understanding. We can fly to Him and lay our weary heads on His chest. We can spill our hearts out to Him...and furthermore, He WANTS us to!

*********************************

I am thankful for friends who "get it." I am thankful for those who meet me where I am and point me to Jesus there. I love my pure Lily's name written in the pure white snow and Tina's reflections on it all. It makes me smile that she thought of Lily when she saw the snow.

I am amazed at how God has been revealing Himself to me in multiple ways lately as my Comforter. I was recently reflecting upon and even wrote about this very attribute of the Holy Spirit. And then I got this email. And then I came across a beautiful song about Him being our Comforter that I've been playing on repeat. I'll leave you all with that (email subscribers click HERE).


"Sweet Comfort"
by Sandra McCracken

Whatever my God ordains is right 
His holy will abides 
I will be still whatever He does 
And follow where He guides 

Sweet comfort, sweet comfort 
Yet shall fill my heart 
Sweet comfort, sweet comfort 
Sorrow shall depart 

Whatever my God ordains is right 
He makes my feet to stand 
Though sorrow, need, or death be mine 
He holds me in His hand 

This bitter cup, I take it 
My fainting heart restored 
So here I stand, unshaken 
I trust upon the Lord 

He is my God though dark my road 
He holds me, I shall not fall 
Whatever my God ordains as right 
To him I leave it all. 

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