Baby Rachel's Family Visits Lily's Spot

As I have shared, my friend Stacy and her nonprofit organization, Baby Rachel's Legacy, helped me pay for Lily's headstone.

Stacy lives in New Hampshire and Lily is buried in Virginia, so we didn't know if she'd ever get to see it in person, or only in photos.

As I posted about last week, her family took a road trip to Florida and I got to meet them for the first time in person, which was such a blessing. On their way back up the coast, heading home to New England, Stacy hoped to stop and visit Lily's special spot. We didn't know for sure it would work out because a snow storm was expected in Virginia on the day she was planning on going.

They ended up being snowed in at a hotel a day longer than expected. However, they were able to go the evening before the snowstorm hit (last Friday). Why did they have to bring the cold and snow south with them lol? After traveling all day, her husband was willing to take a detour and drive a couple extra hours to see Lily's stone.

I didn't know they had been until Stacy texted me photos, saying "Look who we just spent some time with. <3 literally made me cry. It's so beautiful, Hannah... I fixed her little tree and left her a rose... it looked pretty there with all the snow and I could see her spot from so far away, it really stands out with all the pretty decor!" I think so too. :-)

I can't believe they actually got to go! I am so glad they made it. It made me tear up too. The only thing that would have made it better is if I could have been there too. I told Stacy she can now picture Lily's spot exactly when she thinks of it.

The fact they got to go at all is amazing, but what makes it extra special is that they were a part of getting Lily's stone. Stacy wrote, "Took a detour to go visit a special baby girl's special spot. Many of you remember that the year we didn't do a race, instead we raised money to help Hannah Rose finish paying for her daughter Lily's stone. So many of you helped and I've shared the pics before, but I never imagined I'd ever get to see it in person!! Brought tears to my eyes to pull up and see it and be able to tell the kids how Rachel's life spread love all the way down here in Crozet, Virginia. We saw the most beautiful sunset on the way. Truly a breathtaking couple of hours and well worth the trip. Thankful that Matt was willing to drive the extra miles."

Stacy also got to see my Aunt Rachel's headstone which is right beside Lily's. My Aunt obviously shares a name with Stacy's daughter, which I find very special. Rachel Ross was my grandparent's seventh child and passed away at three months old in 1965 because of a heart condition. My grandparent's share a stone with their daughter, which is actually a unique bench, just like Rachel Alice shares a stone with Stacy and Matt. My grandmother "Bumma" also associates daisies with her Rachel, just like Stacy does. My Aunt Rachel's stone has daisies and a lamb on it. You can read about my Aunt Rachel and see her stone by clicking HERE.

God was in the details, making sure the Aube's arrived before the snow hit and before it got dark that night. He even gave them a beautiful sunset! I feel like I got to share my beloved Blue Ridge Mountains of Virginia. :-) Stacy wrote, "We wouldn't have even seen the mountains, let alone the sunset over them if we weren't going to visit Lily. It was amazing! Photos don't come close to capturing the beauty!" I couldn't agree more. So thankful Lily is in such a beautiful part of the country.

One more neat thing Stacy wrote me, "I forgot to tell you that the photo of me with Lily's stone is file #5143 in my camera... since Lily's 5th birthday is coming up and 143 means "I love you" it made me smile. No coincidences!! 5 years of your love in this spot and I know she knows!"

Rachel and Lily must be friends in Heaven. I hope they smile as Jesus tells them how their lives are impacting people on Earth and how much they continue to bless us too.

Stacy and Lily's stone... never thought I'd see her in a picture with it!

Stacy and her children at Lily's spot
I love how you can see the mountain in the background

Stacy's husband and kiddos at Lily's spot

the pretty rose Stacy brought Lily

Lily's spot looking beautiful with the snow...
the "Shroyer" stone in the background belongs to my great-grandparents (Bumma's parents)

the sunset Stacy's family saw

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Gratitude to Each Person Who Helped with Lily's Stone

I have so many posts I've been wanting to write and this is one of them.

Lily's stone has officially been at her special spot in Crozet, Virginia since November 2013. It was possible because of the many generous and kind people who helped make it happen financially.

the front of Lily's stone

the back of Lily's stone

I want to thank these people, those I know by name and those I don't know by name.

I could never express the depth of my gratitude that friends, family, and complete strangers would bless me so tremendously in helping me do one of the last tangible things I can as a mother for my daughter of Heaven, Lily Katherine.

My sincere thanks goes out to:

Stacy Aube and her family who raised $823 (!) for Lily's stone through her Non-Profit organization she runs in her daughter's honor and memory, Baby Rachel's Legacy. Stacy usually hosts a 5K each August where she lives in New Hampshire, but in 2013, she decided that instead of doing a race that year, she would raise money to help me finish paying for Lily's stone. God put it on her heart to help, which was such a blessing in and of itself. And then I found out (on my 24th birthday of all days... God is always in the details!) the total amount that was being given and I was completely blown away! I never expected so much. Talk about the best birthday gift ever! Thank you to everyone who honored both Lily and Rachel in this way! Click HERE and HERE to read the posts on Stacy's blog about Lily's stone.

Stephanie Desjarlais who is an Origami Owl consultant offered to do an online fundraiser called "Lockets for Lily" where she contributed 20% of the profits raised to go towards Lily's stone. She ended up giving me a check for $77.20 and I was also given the blessing of a beautiful Origami Owl memorial locket with multiple charms of my choice, all for almost no charge (and these are not the cheapest of lockets, so I wouldn't have been able to get one myself otherwise). Thank you Stephanie, for blessing me in this way, and thank you to each person who bought something through the fundraiser.

My friend Tracey's father, "Papa Dude," who unexpectedly gave me a card with $200 in it to help out with Lily's stone.

Linda Znachko, from the amazing ministry, He Knows Your Name, who contibuted $100.

These are the names that I have of the other people who gave on the GoFundMe page I had set up, as well as in person or online, from a little bit to a lot, but really the dollar amount is not what matters to me: Brittany Mays, Suzie Smyth, Morgan Lennon, Lisa Collins, Jennifer Kehoe, Candy Rhodes, Josiah Cadle, Sarah Miller, Kelly Osborne, Angela Welliver, Melissa Lorang, Natalie Mardon, Nancy Schuck, Elisha Cooper, Judith Harder, Nancy Auclair, Lacie Zoller, Michael Cornish, and all of those who have chosen to remain anonymous (I apologize if I have forgotten anyone).

I am so humbled that others would do this with and for me, for her. It means so much to me to have given her a stone as a way to bring dignity to her life. It hurt that I could not get one for three years because of finances. God led me to a wonderful monument company across the country in Seattle, that custom-created her stone, more wonderfully than I imagined possible. And then He led me to go ahead with the process of getting her stone, though I honestly had no idea how I'd pay off all $2,160.58 of it, including shipping from Seattle to Virginia. I knew He would provide, but didn't know it would be through so many people from literally across the world, from the United States, to Ireland, to the United Kingdom, and Switzerland. I worked hard and payed some as I was able, but then God blessed me abundantly with my baby girl's stone being completely payed off. It's amazing that He would put it on so many people's hearts to give! If my calculations are correct, a total of $1,470.20 was donated!

He showed me afresh through each of you who gave that He loves Lily even more than I do and that He's still in the details, even all these years later. He's still blessing me for my choice of life.

I would love it if each and every one of you could see Lily's stone in person one day. Some of you have already seen it and some will get to in the future. :-) But for those of you who cannot, I am so pleased to be able to share photos of her lovely stone. It is simply perfect for my beautiful girl. I never felt like I had to "settle" for less than what I feel she deserves. I cannot express the peace it gives me knowing my baby girl is finally honored in this way. It was like a heavy weight was taken off my shoulders on the day her stone was finally installed. It has been precious for me to decorate her spot for different holidays and seasons, and especially for her birthday.

Each time I look at Lily's stone, my heart remembers the people who have been a part of this. It makes her stone that much more special. Again I say, thank you.

Click HERE to read more about the meaning behind Lily's stone.

Click HERE to read all the other posts about Lily's stone.

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Meeting Baby Rachel's Mommy

Thursday was very special because I got to meet for the first time *in person* one of my dearest friends, who I first connected with online because of our precious baby girls in Heaven, Lily and Rachel, both born in 2010.

I started reading Stacy's blog (one of my favorites - Baby Rachel's Legacy) a few years ago and we became friends through that. I look up to this amazing wife and mother of six in so many ways! Her Non-Profit, Baby Rachel's Legacy, helped make getting Lily's stone a reality.

Stacy and I live many states apart, but she was traveling through my area, on her way from New Hampshire to Florida, and we were able to work it out to meet! She also hopes to stop and see Lily's spot in Virginia on her way back home. I got to meet her husband and kiddos too. Her kids are so sweet and cute. Stacy was so dear when telling them that I was Lily's mommy, Lily who is with their sister Rachel in Heaven. I was able to share some of Lily's things with her (like her foot and handprints and snippet of hair), which was really special. It's one thing to see these things online and an entirely different thing to see them in person and know her tiny (yet big for a newborn) hands and feet actually touched that very paper and the outfit, hat, and blanket actually once touched her perfect little body. Stacy noticed how Lily's hair is the exact color of mine.

It was so strange to meet "in real life..." I was like "you're real, not just a picture!" lol.

What makes this meeting extra sweet is that last month I started praying that the Lord would one day make it possible for me to meet her in person. I had no idea it would happen so soon! He delights in giving good gifts to His children. We also happened to meet on my half-birthday (yes, I celebrate those) and I joked that it was all in celebration of that. ;)

Lily's life continues to bless me in so many ways, even bringing me some of my dearest friends.

Stacy and I holding our sweet girls' blankets

Drinking coffee (and hot chocolate for the kiddos) at Starbucks

With Stacy and her adorable daughter

With two of her bundles-of-energy boys

Our "us-ie"

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"We carry our babies everywhere we go and their memories are special"

My friend Stacy hosted a baby shower in honor of her daughter Rachel's 4th birthday in Heaven. It was for a young woman who is expecting her first child in March, the same month Lily was born.

This is what Stacy shared on her blog when she first posted about it:

"God has presented us with another opportunity to celebrate life and share the love of Christ. We have been led to a young girl from our local high-school who is expecting a baby boy in March. We have never met her, the girls who work at the gas station around the corner told us that she is in need of help preparing for her baby and doesn't have much support. Her name is Lindsey and I hear she is almost done high school, will be graduating in January, has a job too and is a hard worker.
I gave her the option of us having a shower with her in attendance or just gathering and donating items to her. I told her I am pretty good at throwing parties and she accepted. :)  I admit this feels awkward to me. I am nervous about it being a flop and her feeling disappointed or let down. But God put it on my heart and so I am going with it and I'm hoping you will help me!!
I have been having fun helping her pick items and making the invitations. It's such an honor to remember Rachel this way... by pouring my love on others. I have to say the thought of having your first baby so young and not having a time where people gather and celebrate sounds sad to me. I'm pretty sure she would not have had a shower if it wasn't for Rachel. I think this young lady needs to know that choosing life doesn't leave you alone....and I want her to feel the love that God so freely gives through us. So if you are local and can make this, I would be ever so grateful if you stop by and show your support even if you cannot bring a gift."

I was touched that Stacy was doing this, especially after facing two unplanned pregnancies myself. I am passionate about the church of Christ loving on mothers who do choose LIFE for their baby.  

Each year for Christmas, my mom and I like to do something in Lily's honor. The last 2 years, we've given a box to Operation Christmas Child. This year, it seemed perfect to be a part of this baby shower... in Lily's honor for Christmas, in Rachel's honor for her birthday, and as a way to show this mama and her sweet baby some love. We could not make it in person because Stacy lives many states away, but we sent a card that shared a bit about Lily's life and legacy and encouragement for this young mother, along with $43 (43 is a special number to Stacy because that is how many minutes Rachel lives outside the womb).

This is what Stacy wrote on her blog about our gift for the shower (I think what she selected is perfect):

"My friend Hannah Rose - we (you!) helped her get her daughter Lily's headstone last year - sent $43 in honor of Rachel's birthday and in honor of Lily for Christmas and asked me to get something special for Lindsey. I waited to see what would be left on the registry and it was mostly just diapers... which didn't feel enough like Lily and Rachel...so this morning, when I opened my eyes, it came to me! A baby carrier and a memory book! What else says "We carry our babies everywhere we go and their memories are special" more than those together?! So I left to go get them and decided KMart would be faster than Walmart (I don't often go to KMart so I had no idea what to expect from their baby section) I picked up the carrier and the memory book I wanted without even thinking of price, because honestly, I didn't have time to! Do you know how much they cost? Yep, $43. UNREAL!!
I also added in the little "I'm on my way!" ultrasound picture frame as a special thing in Lily's honor because Hannah is a pro-life speaker and writer and I felt like the idea of celebrating LIFE from the beginning - not when they come out, but when they are created - would be a good way to honor Lily for Christmas too! Love you Hannah"

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Rachel Alice's 4th Birthday

Today is a very special little girl named Rachel Alice Aube's 4th birthday in Heaven! Rachel was born on December 3, 2010 and spent 43 precious minutes with her adoring family before going to her Eternal home where she dances for Jesus.

Her mother, Stacy, is one of my dearest friends who has been an encourager, supporter, and someone who shares so much wisdom, love, and truth with me. She makes me feel understood and validated, while at the same time always pointing me to Jesus.

Baby Rachel's Legacy is so beautiful and she will never be forgotten, by me or anyone else whose life she has touched. I just know that Rachel Alice and Lily Katherine must be friends and must know their mommies are now friends because of them!

God used Stacy and Rachel's legacy to honor Lily's legacy by helping to provide for my girl's permanent memorial headstone (through her non-profit, hundreds of dollars were donated!)

Please take the time to read about Rachel's beautiful life and legacy by clicking HERE and be sure to check out and following Stacy's blog (one of my favorites) by clicking HERE.

Stacy and Rachel

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Rachel's Race

One of my dear friends named Stacy, whose daughter Rachel is also with Jesus, has an annual 5K called Rachel's Race. It is a fundraising event that honors the Lord, remembers Rachel and other babies in Heaven, educates others about anencephaly, and supports life-affirming ministries. (It was Stacy who raised money through her nonprofit that she runs in honor of Rachel that helped me get Lily's headstone!)

Check out Stacy's blog - Baby Rachel's Legacy (it is one of my favorites!). And if you are in the New Hampshire area, please consider walking in person at the 5K on Saturday, August 2nd. If you (like me) are too far away to attend in person, there is an option to be a virtual walker/runner. My mom and I are registered to be virtual walkers and will be taking photos to post on the Baby Rachel's Legacy Facebook page on the day the race is held (we will walk by ourselves somewhere local). We will each be receiving a beautiful Rachel's Race t-shirt to wear on that day. :) Please support this race/Baby Rachel's Legacy in whatever way you can!

If you are a babyloss parent, you can have your child honored on race day. This is what the website says: "Until Rachel, we were unaware of the large number of babies lost each year to miscarriage, stillbirth and neonatal deaths. As we have walked this path, we have heard hundreds of stories of parents who have had to say goodbye to their children too soon. We know the pain that this brings. If you are a grieving mother or father, we are so sorry for your loss. We know how important it is to have your baby recognized and we would love to honor your child by name at Rachel's Race." Click HERE to sign up to have your baby honored.

For much more information about the 5K, please click HERE.

The amazing race logo (which you can read about HERE) with Rachel's precious prints

Here's a little video from the first annual Baby Rachel's Legacy 5K so you can get more of an idea what it's like:

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24 and the best birthday gift!

Two weeks ago tomorrow, I celebrated my 24th birthday! So, yes, this post is overdue and I've been slacking a little with blogging... that's only because so much has been going on... Anyways, I wanted to share some birthday thoughts...

I truly cannot believe I'm already in my mid-20s. Because my birthday has always fallen right around the start of a new school year, August feels like a new chapter in my life beginning, with being a new age and starting a new grade or whatever I've done each year (which every year of my life has been different than the year before). It also feels like a new chapter beginning at the start of each new calendar year, as well as around Lily's birthday.

Whenever one chapter ends and another begins (whether I get another year older, another year passes, or Lily should have gotten another year older), I feel a certain heaviness. It feels as if I'm getting farther away from Lily. I was only 19 and 20 when Lily was here, so it's strange for the years to keep marching by so quickly. It may sound strange, but it feels like I'm leaving Lily and Luke behind in my younger years. I imagine that turning 30 will be really difficult, like I'm leaving them in another decade of my life.

It makes me sad that both Lily and Luke never got to celebrate one single birthday and I've now celebrated 24.

My birthday also brings back memories... I am glad Lily got to be here with me on my 20th birthday (she was growing within me). But, then I think to my 21st birthday and how we had planned to go to the beach with my should-have-been-almost-five-month-old. We had wanted to go with a friend we met at the pregnancy center in the pregnancy/birth/parenting class. She ended up having her baby girl, healthy and happy, less than two months after Lily was born. We never went to the beach. We had even gotten the most darling pink dress that would have fit Lily at that age. I wanted her to wear it on her mommy's 21st birthday.

I wish Lily was here to celebrate each of my birthdays with me. She should be here for every birthday until I die. I never could have known that I'd have to give her back so soon... four years after the birthday she was here with me, I never imagined I'd be finalizing the plans on her memorial stone... and that's what I'd have to look forward to. Not watching her grow and change.

Does anyone else whose lost a baby struggle with birthdays?

My life is sprinkled with bittersweet moments. The Lord is always there to lift my spirits and to remind me that He has a plan for it all... and will continue to make beauty from ashes and work it all together for good.

This year, He made my birthday extra sweet, by showing me in a special way that Lily will never be forgotten. A very dear friend of mine named Stacy raised money for Lily's stone, in honor and memory of both our girls. Her precious daughter Rachel also went Home to be with Jesus in 2010. Stacy found out I was working on paying off Lily's stone and said she wanted to help. So, during the month of August, the month of her Rachel's diagnosis (read more of her story HERE), she raised $823 through her Non-Profit, Baby Rachel's Legacy!! To make an amazing gift extra sweet, the fundraiser wrapped up the day before my birthday... so she told me the final total on my birthday! I am blown away by the kindness and generosity of others! This is the best birthday gift ever. I had no idea she'd be able to raise so much, close to what I need to finish paying everything off! Stacy said one of the donations even came from Switzerland... it touches my heart to have people around the world thinking of and talking about Lily. It means more than words can say to have others honor Lily with me in this way. Thank you so much Stacy and Rachel - I love you both! And thank you everyone who contributed! The Lord is so good to me to put this on Stacy's heart, for my Lily girl.

*I am about ready to wrap up the fundraiser I'm doing for Lily's stone... if you are interested in contributing to help with the little bit more needed, click HERE.*

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