Today, it was a bridal shower for a young woman who is several years younger than me.
And tomorrow is Mother's Day.
It's days like these that are a glaring reminder that I am alone. That I don't have a man to gently wrap his arm around me. That I don't have a child in my arms. That I do have a precious baby, but she isn't here. That I don't even have a man to give me flowers for Mother's Day or a card, in place of my child who can't.
I am alone. At least that is how it feels. And I don't understand why God sees fit to keep me in this place and not change things when He could.
This year is especially hard because it seemed like He was writing a beautiful story and now it has all unraveled. I don't understand. And perhaps I'll never have answers.
But what I have been challenged to do is cling... throughout the pain, the doubts, the confusion, the unanswered questions... I will cling to my Jesus and trust His heart. I will thank Him for being my soul's Husband. I will thank Him that I have a precious daughter who waits for me. I will count it all joy even when it doesn't feel like there is much to be joyful over in these areas. He will never leave or forsake me. In Him, I have all things, even if I have nothing else I desire most.
"By day the Lord commands His steadfast love, and at night His song is with me. A prayer to the God of my life." -Psalm 42:8
His song is with us, even through the darkest, longest and loneliest nights.
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