Tuesday, September 6, 2016

Girl Cousins the Same Age, How Fun It'd Be

September 6th is ironically both Stillbirth Remembrance Day and Lily's cousin's birthday. She was born on Labor Day in 2010, meaning she is just a half a year younger than Lily, turning 6 today.

Her birthday reminds me of my little girl, who should be the same age. How would Lily look now? Who would she be? Would these two girls be the best of friends? How much fun would it be to have a girl cousin so close in age? I hope she will grow up knowing about Lily.

It's strange the days that can hurt like they do... today is one of those days for me.

Here is something I wrote on a blog post before:

Lily has three cousins that were born within just a few months of her. My cousin Daniel's son, Owen, was born three months before Lily. She also has two other cousins who I don't write about, a little boy who was born five months before Lily and a little girl who was born half a year after. They are Lily's father's niece and nephew. I never see or talk to them, so I don't know anything about their lives. But I have seen photos. I still know that they are out there and that they are Lily's cousins. There is a little girl who is now taking the place of Lily as the oldest granddaughter and niece growing up in that family. A little girl who will miss out on having a girl cousin close in age to share life with. It absolutely breaks my heart to think of this little girl, who Lily will never know and I will never know because Lily isn't here.
It breaks my heart even more wondering if the other half of Lily's family cares for or thinks about her at all. Is she out of sight, out of mind, almost as if she never existed? I can't stand the thought of them not ever mentioning her, not remembering her on her birthday each year, not visiting her grave every now and then, and not missing and loving her. Will they think of Lily as her girl cousin grows up through the years and wonder how Lily would have looked and who she would've become? Will they count her as part of the family? I hope they will remember her and learn to love her in the only ways they can.

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