They post these photos on Facebook that say "You know you're a still mother when..."
I saw this one and relate too well...
I have names treasured in my heart, names that I long to be able to call out to a living child, names that I long to have written on certificates of live births. Names that I hope my imaginary husband would like. Names that I think compliment Lily Katherine's and Luke Shiloh's. Names that I don't want to share with anyone because they are so sacred, yet I wonder if I'll ever have the need to share them.
As I wrote about last year at Christmas, there's always this balance of waiting between missing and longing... missing my girl and yet aching for the future. Hoping that God will redeem things that are difficult to picture Him doing so.
Oh Heavenly Father, I know if my little one(s) whom I already love and have a name picked out for him/her/them is meant to be, you already know him/her/them. May Your perfect will be done in Your perfect time and way and may I trust in Your sovereignty and goodness. May I one day look back and see how these years of pain and longing were for a purpose and that the story couldn't have been scripted more beautifully.