Sunday, October 23, 2016

Capture Your Grief ~ Day 21

Day 21: Relationships
October 21, 2016 


Day 21. Relationships: How have your relationships changed? Did you lose any? Have you made new friendships?

Through having (and losing) Lily, the Lord has brought many amazing people into my life.

Some of the women I treasure, I met online. They are women of all different ages, with different stories, from across the world. It is incredible how the Lord weaves our stories and lives together. I haven't even met some of my dearest friends "in person," but when you relate on the deepest levels because of shared similar experiences, it's as if you've known that person always. When your hearts connect, it doesn't matter the number of miles between you.

The lovely ladies I've met in person/locally are also amazing. The photo on the bottom is from Lily's 6th birthday. I was out of town that day and couldn't be at my local loss support group meeting that happened to fall on her exact birthday. The ladies who did meet together had red-velvet cupcakes for Lily and took this sweet photo for me. Red-velvet as many of you know is a Lily tradition, started because of my Valentine's-themed baby shower. Isn't that so sweet?!

I'm also thankful for the people I know outside of the loss community, the family and friends who have stuck by me through the years, taking interest in being a part of the special events or occasions where Lily is honored. The photo on the top is from Lily's stone placement ceremony in November 2013, when I finally got her permanent headstone and was able to share the meaning behind it.

I hear some people talk about how their families don't "count" their baby in Heaven, don't talk about them, include them, celebrate them on their birthday, etc. And it makes me realize just how blessed I am to have a family who does love, honor, miss, and count Lily. My family and friends walked out their pro-life convictions in Lily's life... but honestly what I'm finding is they did so even more in her death... Their love for her and understanding of the sanctity of life was even more pronounced in their depth of weeping when she was buried on that day in late March 2010, in how they celebrate her birthday with me each March 16th, in their sensitivity in how they try to understand best they can what I'm feeling and what I need, in wanting to visit her "special spot" with me when we're in Virginia, in not being afraid to speak her name - not in a tense and awkwardly forced sort of way, but just normal, because she is a part of the family, in not making me feel like I should stop missing and loving Lily as other people try to make me feel, but entering into my pain and love with me, because they feel it as well, in being gracious and compassionate with me, even when I do get overly emotional and don't always make sense. Her absence is recognized because her value was first.

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Click here to see all of my photos from CYG 2016.

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